Ice Cream

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Recently I got to participate in a blood drive. I know I was doing a noble cause, donating blood and all..

Ok, so I also know, there was a little selfish interest involved. *Grin*

The Austin blood drive basically ran a campaign like "Give a Pint, Take a Pint" (of Amy's ice cream :))

So naturally, I was excited.

I in fact binged on an extra breakfast taco Friday morning, because I was being sent
reminder mails that I should eat "well" :) So, this was comfortably one of the rare times, where you have a genuine excuse to give for overeating. I mean I could actually faint man, if I didn't overeat. Haha!

Anyway, I enter this bus parked by my office parking lot.

I stride in, grinning ear to ear..

Me: "Hey guys, is this where I need to give blood?"
Doc 1: "Yep, can you please sign up on that sheet there?"

Me: "Yes!" (Sure dude, do you have my ice cream ready? LOL)

Co-worker 1: "Did you eat? Coz you can faint sometimes.."
Me: "You kidding me, I ate tons! I could maybe give them one more pint. So full!"

Co-worker 2 (Didn't meet before, he was an Indian): "Hi, is this your first time?"
Me: "Yes! I never donated blood back in India. My parents would never let me..they were paranoid about the whole needle-AIDS connection, you know.."

Co-worker 2: (Nods his head in agreement)
Me: "Hey I didn't see you around before. You with the hardware guys?"

(Some more small talk)

Co-worker 1 to me (Striding out of the "consultation" room): "Dude, your next.."

Doc 2: "Are you Manju Vijayakumar?"
Me (smiling even more. This guy was Indian and so he got my name absolutely right!) : YES, that's me!

Doc 2 (polite smile): "Come on in!"

Me (tapping my fingers on the table. I was not sure why I was so excited! No clue why. But this was going to change soon..): "Whoa! Is that a long form or what?", pointing at the long questionnaire sheet.

Doc 2: "Yes, did you read the information sheet outside?"

Me: "Oh that AIDS thing?"

Doc 2: "Yes. That along with some other information"

Me: "Yeah! Isn't it crazy that people come to donate blood to test if they have HIV? So crazy!"

Doc 2: "Yes. A lot of them do that..Ok, Manju I might have to ask a lot of uncomfortable questions. It is just a part of the procedure. Are you ready?"

Me: "Sure!" (Anything for the ice cream dude. LOL)

Doc 2: "So tell me Manju..Did you have sex with more than one partner often?"

Me: No

Doc 2: "Did you have sex for money? If that question confuses you, it means did you have sex with a prostitute?"

Me: (Uhhh! Money huh..) No

Doc 2: "Did you have sex with a male who had sex with another male before having sex with you?"

Me: (Wot da...) No

Doc 2: Blah blah blah..."Were you pregnant in the last 6 months?"

Me: (Now I started getting used to telling No in a rhythmic tone..) Noooo

Doc 2: "Are you...

Me: No!

Doc 2: "I am sorry I did not finish the question"

Me: "Oh! Sorry.."

Doc 2: "Are you pregnant now?"

Me: (Hmm, how thoughtful of you to ask me.) NO!

Doc 2: "Do you have a fever now?"
Me: (Finally you ask sane questions, huh?): No

Doc 2: "Are you on any kind of drug now?"

Me: (Dude, I can eat an ice cream and still know I am eating an ice cream. That is how mentally stable I am right now!) NO

Doc 2: "Do you take heroin, crack, marijuana...blah blah"

Me: NO, NO, NO!

Doc 2 (Looking at me apologetically): Err..ok, Now I need you to take a look at this list and tell me what medicines from these have you been taking in the past 6 months

Me: "I don't need to look Doc. I never visited a drug store in the States since my last 1.5 years here"

Doc 2 (almost pleading): "Could you please? I need to conduct the procedure, end to end.

Me: (reluctantly..) Ok.

Doc 2: "I have few more questions to ask"

Me (sure, I am loving it x-(): Ok

Doc 2: "Do you belong to India?"

Me (WTF, doesn't he know am from India. I mean, he is Indian too..): Yes, of course

Doc 2: "How long back did you enter the States?"

Me: You are Indian right?

Doc 2: Err..yes, how long back did you enter the States?

Me: 1.5 years

Doc 2: So you were in India before that

Me (Yes, Genius!): Yeah

Doc 2 (Scrolls something across the form): "Sorry you are barred from donating blood anywhere in the States til Oct 2010. You hail from a country on the list of malaria infested nations."

Me (WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! Wot the f!!!!!): Whattttttt????????????

Doc 2: "..And this will go into our database so you cannot donate blood during the probation period. Also if you go back to India, anytime in the future, you cannot donate 1 year after your return from India"

Me: "Thanks for making sure! That is so relieving to hear. Is there anything else?"

Doc 2: "I am sorry. It is just a rule here. You can donate in India though."

Me: "Thanks. I thought I had to take your permission for that."

Doc 2: (Frowns)

Me: "Anyway, thanks had a GREAT time" (Boy! Was I oozing of sarcasm)

Doc 2: (Trying to make the mood lighter) "Hey are you from A&M?"

Me: "Don't get me started. If you are from UT, yes, I am an Aggie and proud to be one. I love Maroon more than Orange, if you must know." (totally miffed and pulling up a face)

(Texas A&M and UT Austin are two rival universities)

Doc 2 (smiling hard): "No, I am not form UT. I am coming to A&M for studying."

Me (rolling my eyes): "Really?!!"

Doc 2: "Yes. I heard it is great there."

Me: "Well...it is a small college town. It is warm and friendly. You would like it there. Heck, anyone would like it there."

Doc 2: "Cool, then we should keep in touch."

Me: "Ya well..yes."

Doc 2: "Hope to meet you there then!"

Me: "Sure"

Doc 2: "Sorry about today."

Me: "Ya, well I ate tons now, I need to find some other way to shirk all those carbs:)"

Doc 2 (Nodding and smiling)

Me (Strides out of the bus..enters my office break room and tells to my co-worker):
"Bitches, they wouldn't let me donate blood.."

Co-worker 1: "Try next time!"

Me: "Ya, remind me to sue them the next time..I will hold them against mental torture, sleazy questions..."

Co-worker 1: "Btw, there is ice cream if you want to have one:)"

Oh ya..I totally forgot about the ice cream in the process. Didn't I?

Face your fears

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This was a long time back.

I was a kid and I was very excited to travel in the local buses to school
(Don't ask me why, I am pretty retarded to choose crowded buses over comfy auto rickshaws)

Anyway, so I used to change 2-3 buses to go to school each day.

I was a kiddo then. Probably a 10 yr old.

I remember one day a partially crowded bus came by and I was running late.
So I swiftly stepped in and the bus driver yelled "Stopppppppppp!"

I said "What? What happened?"

Generally in the local buses, someone asks you to stop so hard only if you
were stepping into someone's puke in the bus. LOL. Anyway, what happened later
was tearful..

The bus driver started cursing me and must have used swear words @ 10/min
Like he called me a "whore's child" and what not. Some of them beyond my comprehension. He basically didn't want me to step in and add to the crowd in the bus.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. And I stepped down.
That day I got late to school. But that was not the point. I was so terribly upset about those swear words, that I, frankly didn't even understand at that point of time. And yet it affected me so badly.

During dinner I ate very little. My dad knew something was wrong. So after a lot of "tell me what happened" lines,I told my dad,
"I am never going to go in that bus. I can't", and I cried
like a baby. Mom tells me till date that she never saw me so upset, like I was that day.

Dad: "What? What the heck happened? I thought you loved buses?"
Me: "Ya. I can't tell. The driver was so rude. I am scared to step into a bus and find him as the driver now..."

(Bus drivers worked on a rotation basis. So I could easily bump into him if I took some other bus too)

Dad: "Really! You telling me your scared because of the son of a b****?"
Me: Ummm...
Mom: [Jaw dropped. She usually doesn't get 90% of the curses we utter]

Dad: "You make me sick. Are you telling me instead of fist fighting this guy, you weep like a baby and do nothing about it? What the hell are you scared about?"

Me: "I don't know."

That's when Dad taught me some of the choiciest swear words to use. LMAO.

Dad: "Go use them! Tell me how it goes. I hope you meet that son of a..."

Me: [nervously laughing. I was still scared]

After about a week I saw the same bus driver when I stepped in. He was about to yell
when he practically pissed in his pants..while I started off. I ended with a line I practiced for like the entire week..LOL..

"Teri baap ki jaagir nahi hain yeh bus, samjha?" (This bus is not your father's property, understood?)

At the end of which I beamed. A couple of ladies in the front actually smiled back
and congratulated me. LOL. I was the local bus hero! Ha!

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean you can use swear words and turn the world on your side;)

What a day!

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Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

Warning: This is a full fledged 'bitch diary' for the day.

Right from the time I got up today, I was on the run.

First my roommate who moved out recently, kept sneaking in to check on
her "remaining stuff" in the apartment. Several of her woes, my plastic container (good lord, mus be a freaking 4 bucks!), my 2 melamine plates (I have no clue what happened to the other one, but one I seemed to have broke), my two napkins(jeez!) are missing. I really wanted to write her a neat cheque for all this if it made her happy. But she preferred whining about insignificant stuff. And kept telling "Everything was here before I went to the holidays" which actually would read as "You stole my stuff". Yes, I have a part time job and it is stealing other's food containers and cheesy napkins. I surely make a whopping profit off them girl..

Next, the new roommate walks in. Everything gung-ho. No complains here.
I spend some quality time with her grandmother and get all *envious* of a what a terrific family she has to help her with her things and simply take good care of her.
Life seemed so unfair at that point. (All that in another post)

I had to work on an important presentation to be given on Monday. And I did'nt start yet. So after my rather "long" talk with granny, I run to the office only to figure that today was 3rd of Jan. That means last day to pay rent. I run back to my apartment and what do I see? I am out of cheque leaflets! Good Lord! I run to the lease office, "Hey you think you can make do with a debit card?" to which I get a "Hey why dont you pay me a cool 45$ as processing fee?" :(

I go out for a walk with the new roommate to clear my head and lose track of time.
I come back in, only to find my roommate and her husband (now, with accomplice. wow!) sneaking around. Oh well..

I come back to work. All pumped up to start off. An old friend is complaining on chat about "How I don't chat with him these days.." and "Give me a reply within another 30 secs or you will die"

I try to relax and focus. I get a call from a friend in college.
"Hey your apartment keys here, someone wants them."
Basically I am moving into an apartment back at college in few days. Already the mailbox key is misplaced by one of the girl's who subleased the apartment to me. And now some friend of hers temporarily wants to stay in. I have no problems with that. I am basically human and I want to keep track of my freaking apartment keys! x-(

I hate the United States.

Indians and their two suitcases.

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I stared at ma laptop for the nth hour as my roommate was busy packing her clothes
and cleaning up her closet.

As she silently wrapped her stuff and neatly arranged them in the suitcase, I curled
up at the corner of my bed whistling some odd tune..

"You know it is so tough to move..", she started.

"Uhhh, whhaaaat?", I reacted, with my headphones still running on max volume.

"This is the third time I am moving this year", she said

"Well, technically, it has been twice...you are moving out on 1st Jan, which means it falls in the
next year's quota", I said candidly. Of course, my technicalities never impress anyone at
such subtle moments. She seemed totally unappreciative of it and pouted.

Hmmm, time to make it a light hearted moment, I thought. Specially, while I am watching my favorite
TV show I do not want a discussion on how "life can be a bitch". It destroys the entire dynamics of TV watching x-(

"You know when I switched jobs, I was cleaning up my desk one day. There was this co-worker watching me.
An american (whom I never really talked to much before). He asked me if I was relocating to a different place. I said yes..to TX.."

I paused and looked at my roommate.

She still seemed like I bound her limbs in iron chains and I force fed her through a tube in her mouth.
Totally uninterested in my narration. Anyway..I continued.

"So this guy said, so you are an Indian eh? And I nodded. Then he says, you must be travelling then with 2 suitcases"

"It is amazing how you guys fit everything into two little suitcases and off you go!
Like this roommate of mine, an Indian, back at college. All he had was a suitcase and a yoga mat.
Anytime he had to move, he would magically fit all his stuff in a suitcase, hang onto his yoga mat and
leave. And me, I gotta call U-Haul man..You guys are amazing..amazing.."

"I heard him tell the word amazing like a million times.."

And she laughed..LOL

Hmmm, It wasn't really much of a big joke, but I think it jus' struck chord for the moment;)

Oh well, time to continue watching my favorite show..

Happy New Year to all !!

2008, you can go hit yourself on the wall, I dont care. 2009, my love, here I come:)

Twirling my pen..

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has always been my favorite activity. Maybe I should list that up on Orkut? :D

But seriously, after a hearty chat with a friend yesterday, it seemed like I ain't
"passionate" about anything in this world. Isn't that depressing?

So I sat down yesterday and I scrolled a few words across my writing pad.

My roommate walks in and reports:
"The water's all over the bathroom floor, the flush is clogged. Nothing works in this apartment"

I stared at her like she just told me she discovered a treasure chest.

"That's it! That is why you have never been passionate about stuff!!", screamed my mind voice.

No, it didn't mean that the flush had anything to do with my passions. It just means
I have been complaining a way lot for a long time now..When you really sit down to "think" you really can figure out.

Usually I would bitch and curse the lease guys..Waste a good 15 mins on that, then get lazy and then pull myself somehow to go knocking on the lease office to complain. Instead I just stormed in and unclogged the whole thing..

Ok, so far gross. But the point is, I have been cribbing that I got no time to do all that I wana do.

It's a shame. So I just went ahead and listed down a few (oh well, I guess I will rephrase. These are the things that interest me:))

Writing (I used to write to a lot of children's magazines before..sighh)
Community service
Singing
Cooking
Mixing music tracks(?? what?? lol.)
Twirling my pen (ok, kidding)
Travelling on foot
Dancing like crazy (I think this must go to the top of the list)
Sitting on the front porch, sipping hot tea and chatting up with dad:) (This, unfortunately, cannot be a lucrative profession)
Debating about politics and movies (I personally think I should have pursued journalism)

Oddly though not one among the above even remotely coincides
with my profession nor did I do any of them in the last few years.

Life needs a U-turn right now..

PS: This is yet another cheesy "me-me" blog..I can't wait to start a journal starting next year and fill it up! Then I will stop cranking up my blogs with cheesy stuff.

End of year..that's what everybody says.

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Ok, firstly I got a guitar! Yayyyy:)
Acoustic of course, to begin with.
So I am excited, for myself:)

And now for the annoying parts of my life.


Everyone around me talks about "recession"

Dad: "Will you make a job? We will pray for you."
Just when I think "how sweet of you..." he continues
"But you will make a job na? Do you want to marry atleast?"

WTF!

Do you want to marry ATLEAST? Huhhh! Where did that come from?

Me: Hows life ???
K: Kya karu re, jobs hi nahi hain so passing my time
Me: Could'nt you talk about say like the movie you watched last night..damn.

Roommate (yelling over the phone in the kitchen): "What the hell! Layoffs in India??
How can that be possible??? Layoffs? Layoffs in India?"
Me (comes to the kitchen)
Roommate to me (still with the phone ON): "You know they are laying off in India!! Can you believe that?"
Me (expressionless): Ya, breaking news.
(No offense roomie, it is just getting to my nerves now..)

Not one positive attitude among the people I know.
Extremely de-motivating. :(

Why are you going to gym?

Hmm. Good question. I really didn't think gym could be a place to sit and read
or gym was our local community center or gym was a place to watch TV or gym was some place you can get your nails done (oh, btw I don't give a damn about nails being done...whoever thought of such a thing as "nails being done"...People are way too obsessive abt getting their nails done. That story is a long one. So some other time.)

Gym, people, is where you try to exercise. Get it? So don't ever ask me why I am going to the gym, followed by "Oh you want to look sexy for your boyfriend aa?"
and please dont add the "aa" at the end of the sentence. Drives me crazy.


Several other annoying questions:

Why is your boyfriend so far away from you? Why dont you guys marry?
(None of your business)
Why did you get up at 6 am? (I need to dude, to go to work at 8 am.
So get over it! :x)
Why do you eat so much yogurt? (Seriously, is yogurt getting out of supply because I eat all of it?)
Why did you stop eating meat? (Ok, this ain't annoying the first time because I was
a regular meat eater..But repeating yourself again and again, is much more irritating. So quit asking me.)

and this takes the crown:

"Why can't you act like a girl?"

(No comments.)

and before someone asks me "What are you doing now?"

I am right now doing lunges behind my desk and small-talking with this sweet (..so I thought) janitor who just now shoved her business card and stormed out without as much as a "take care" after the 15 min conversation:

House & Apartment cleaning

Reasonable prices
General Cleaning
(512)-XXX-XXX

65$ and up.

Bitch.

It is 1.30 am and all I can think right now is the Unda Aloo roll served at Kati Roll, Greenwich Village...

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Shit I should be taking a flight to midtown Manhattan...:(

(The title was too small to fit in my agony..)

Breaking up can be easy if...

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NYC Diaries

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Good News: There are New Yorkers who still do open the door for you..
Bad News: They constitute just 1% of the population

Good News: The view from the Empire State is surely breathtaking
Bad News: They stop you on the 86th floor and rip you off, of your money, if you have to go to the 102nd floor.:)

Good News: The train takes me to Manhattan in 20 mins from Jersey. Yayy!!
Bad News: It takes 30 mins to reach the train station and 30 mins thence from the train station to ma office..so who cares how fast the train goes x-(

Good News: I got a cheap apartment to stay.
Bad News: It has mice, no AC, leaking roof, creaking floor..(but ma roommates are swell, so there is good in bad :)

Good News: The strawberry shake at Mac Donalds still tastes the same. Sweet and yum.
Bad News: You pay 3$ and 2 cents for it at Broadway:) (as opposed to 2$ and 16 cents at Jersey)

Good News: Sure, they have 12 flavors of coffee at ma office to choose from
Bad News: I love only two among them (and they get over real soon. Its hazelnut and french vanilla.)

Good News: The city is heaven to shopaholics.
Bad News: I unfortunately, am not Donald Trump's daughter:)

Good News: There was a kid in the train beating an ugly rude man who kept shoving him hard.
Bad News: The kid used a balloon to hit him.

Good News: You walk by fancy NYPD cars, sharp shooters and patrolling cops on the Wall Street
Bad News: You still get stalked by perverts on the street.

Good News: I love the weirdity of New York.

- A grumpy old woman will yell at you for talking on the phone at the bus station. (I have no clue why??!!$$%& She sweared at me for a hard 15 mins!!)

>> Bad news (for her): I continued on phone. LOL.

- A black teenager will try to scare you in the dark. He was harmless though, thank lord.

>> Bad news: He didnt catch me off guard. I expected it. LOL. He sucked at scaring people :)

- A naked man always stands in Times Square. In fact, pretty girls take pics with him

>> Bad news: Err, he looks kinda ugly??!! After him, I have stopped thinking about naked men, unless i am in a mood to witness a nightmare.

Good News: I got to work on so many different charitable service events.
Bad News: None! I absolutely loved every moment of it.:)

Good News: There is always a sale in New York City!:)
Bad News: Shopping centers are notorious in bringing down your resolve to save money.

Good News: I love central park.
Bad News: I live too far away from the park :(

Good News: I got three paychecks today..and I kept chuckling adding up the figures iteratively:)
Bad News: I hunted down the paychecks after 2 hours..long story! ugh!

Good News: My internship ends tomorrow. Time to chill!! yayyy!
Bad News: I am addicted to NYC. I dont wana leave !!! :((((

New York Cares

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This weekend was rather hectic. I had to travel from Jersey to Upper West Side of New York. I kept cursing myself for having to wake up at 7.45 am on a lazy Saturday morning.

A calls.

A: "Wake up sweetie. You have to go play the kids today.."
M: "Groaaaaannnnnnnn"
A: "Do you know what train to catch? How much time does it take?"
M: "It takes a million years.." [Me pulls the rug over me]
A: "So eat something real quick and lets go!!"
M: "Leave me alone!!!!"
A: "Shall I call you after 10 mins? You can sleep till then.."
M: "aaaaaaaargh..why do you have to be so nice to me?"

So finally am up there..on a subway..punching in my debit card pin and buying a ticket..

By the time I reach 135th street its already 10.05 am.
And am supposed to be at 10 am on 138th..some peach colored building full of kids waiting on me.
"Oh ya, this sucks...so darn unprofessional of me...late by a whole 15 mins..", I think to myself.

"Hi! Morning. I volunteer for the New York Cares..", I introduce myself, gasping, to the guy behind the reception counter. He leads me in to this tiny kid's room full of crayons, pencils, paint brushes, game boards and snacks. A nice small couch and a TV and a wash basin, a table and lots of toddler chairs.

"Look at my shoes..they are so BIG!!", yells a 6 yr old from her seat..
"Big..and purple!",I add :)
"Mine are even bigger", says her twin sister..

The next 1 hour was fun knowing the kids, filling in colors into Olympics bear on a white sheet..

There was this guy Joshua, who was very creative.
"I want to draw Shadow", he declared and started to draw on the back side of the sheet.

Within 10 mins he drew the side, rear and front views of this character. Pretty amazing stuff.

We then went to the New York Library. It was the reading hour for the kids.

This is where, the twin sisters kept me on ma toes. They go by name Janais and Anais.

Janais kept clunging to ma legs and Anais kept pulling out books from the shelves @10/min.

"Dont you wana read Anais"?, I asked calmly..trying to settle my nerves.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", she would scream and run around the library..

She then had a fetish for a book on corn all of a sudden.."I want a book on Corn" she announced and pulled me to the lady at the desk.
"Lady, can i have a book on Corn?", Anais asked and the lady reluctantly walked to the aisle of books and showed me where the food section was.

Then she continued "I love candy...No I love chocolate..I want a party book...I want a book on tigers..I want to read Dolphins..I want baby whales..I want to read about penguins"

I drenched in my own sweat running around them...They made the library a park and sought hide and seek to reading books.

Soon it was lunch time and we made some ham and peanut butter jelly sandwiches for them. As I neatly arranged them on a plate with chips, raisins and carrots, the kids would neatly remove the carrots out of the plate and stick it in my palm..lol.

Post lunch it was story time. The kids had to write a story each with the help of their volunteer.

One kid wrote..

Title: A boat that could not float.

Once there was a boat that could not float. One day somebody taught the boat how to float. So the boat floated and sailed away into the sea.

LOL

At the end of it all, I don't think it was so bad after all to drag myself out of bed so early:)

Big Deal!

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Ok, so I am in United States. So, what's the big deal?
Recent conversation with my dad:

[I call him up after a night out of err..academics (ok so i watched a movie, so wot? I studied too!x()]

After all that dialling Indian mobile # and my balance updates from a sucky voice on IVRS, I delve right into the conversation..

Me: So whats up?
Dad: Oh hi my dear baby, Manjuttie.

[Me is confused. Dad never really gets all "sweet" and "gooey" like that]

Me: Err..ya, hi dad. Dear dad!
Dad: So hows the apartment at New York [emphasising on "New York" so much that I thought for once
I was beginning to hear things TWICE. argh!]

Me: What apartment?
Dad: Ya, so you got an internship at NEW YORK. CONGRATULATIONSSSS!!

Me: Didnt I inform you that late October last year? [Still confused]
Dad: [Paying no attention, whatsoever] So what is the time at TEXAS?

Me: Huh!! Gosh! Where the heck are you? Are you outside?
Dad: [Finally answering my question] Yes, at this society meeting.

Me: Oh yaaa. That explains all this NEW YORK, TEXAS emphasis huh?
Dad: [Switching back] So how is the weather there at Texas?

Me: Dad, stop!!
Dad: I was just telling Mr. XYZ, about your trip to Seattle

Me: Ya, god bless him, but does he even know what you are talking about? He doesn't know what "Seattle" is, I bet.
Dad: And I told him my daughter has been to Seattle and it rains there all the time

Me: Why don't you also tell him about the weather at Colorado, San Franscisco, Florida and New York? It doesn't matter if I have been there or not. Also tell him that it doesn't rain that much at SF, funny ain't it?
Dad: So i heard the apartment at NY costs 3000$ per month? It is 1,20,000 rupees per month na?

Me: [I give up] Alright I will call you later. Do you friggin' know it costs 6 cents/min for this stupid call. Switch off the mobile and speak to your heart's content. It doesn't matter if I am on the phone.
Dad: Ok, I will you back when I am home. HEHEHE.

Me: [After hanging up] So much for hi my dear baby! x-((((((

Radical thoughts

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Sometimes I want to chew the head off of some people who think the world of them. I completely,
absolutely loathe narcissists!

Sometimes I feel like just jumping off a building top. That's right, you heard me right. Now don't ask me why.

Sometimes I feel like just running a lot. A lot means lotttttttt!

Sometimes I want to just drive a big ass truck into somebody's mouth who keeps talking talking talking like there's no end even while you PLEAD them to shut up.

Sometimes (these days specially) want to wake up that small poodle enjoying its sleep and ask "Hey did you ever do any simulations for an Alpha Instruction Set Architecture for an out of order processor using Simple Scalar?". Hopefully, you get the underlying meaning of this all (screw tha jargon)

Sometimes when I see couples fighting or staying apart I want to go ask them to jus' rewind time and see why they actually were fond of each other in the first place. If they don't get what I mean, then they might as well shut their maniacal bitching and whining and GO SLEEP!

Sometimes I want to just keep drinking caffeine..on and on and on. But hey I quit caffeine from today. Period. On second thoughts, whom am I kidding? If you took my word for it a second ago, wish I could say "Happy April Fools Day"

Sometimes I want to ask this flab all over ma body "Hey, so you are enjoying weighing over me, you nasty li'l bastard" while I am sweating it out at a gym.

Sometimes I wish I had all the courage to just follow ma dreams :( It is by far the most scary, most dreaded thing I could ever want to do. Sad.

More rebellous thoughts saved for later.

Can anyone tell me why..

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...the Computer Science department at my university does not have more than 2 linux boxes. Why, god why? Arrrgh!

...the flush tank at home just choked, overflowed, flooded and submerged my comforter, clothes, papers. Arrrgh!

...I am sleeping at the tune of 12 hours per day? Likes it's my job to sleep. Like I am getting paid for it. Double Arrrgh!

...I would'nt let go the gum in ma mouth and keep chewing on it like it's my job! Why can't I simply spit the damn thing outand get a new one? It's right in my darned jean pocket, another gum waiting to be "gummed" (lol). I just gotta pull it out, spit this out and put another one in! Arrgh!

...so many losers surround ma each day..my each "unslept" part of the day x-([You have no clue how many losers. Gosh! And you have no clue what I am talking about. So screw it and read further.]

Ok, never mind telling me. Looks like I have made ma blog ma agony aunt.

But to reset it's status I have a short story. Or rather anecdote. I just remembered it out of the blue.

My dear old undergraduate days at Pilani (BITS). All hungry souls waited on the piping hot maggi our mess bhaiyyas (fondly as they are called. they really were sweethearts. you spill the milk on the floor, they wipe it off the floor without as much as an angry nerve. Phew! For the explanation :)) made every night after dinner. Ok. That aint the anecdote anyways.

As usual Tamilians are forced to learn Hindi when they go North. Some try hard to manage, some just learn the customary"Maggi bhaiyya", "Dahi bhaiyya" (curds) to survive the hunger. So there is a cute unassuming Southie girl standing couple of heads before me.

She - "Maggi bhaiyya"
Bhaiyya - "Banana hain" (I am yet to make it)

She - [Confused] "Banana nahi. Maggi"
Bhaiyya - "Banana hain" [Wiping out the sweat off his face]

She - [Handing the 2 rupee food coupon to him and pointing to the Maggi packets] "Magggggggggi bhaiyya"
Bhaiyya - [Looking at us with a pleading face to rescue him]

Us - "Ok XYZ, it's not banana he is talking about. It's just Hindi you see and all you have to know is it doesnt mean BANANA"

Another in the line - "Ya dont go bananas over it ;)"

LOL.

Ok I gotta get out of here now. Amen.

OCD

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That's right, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Ask me why. Here is the answer:

- Taking bath twice in a day. No kidding! (And to understand the gravity of it, you should ask my friends about my previous life (pichla janam! hehe), when I seldom took bath :p)

- Addicted to caffeine, to the score of 3 Mac Donald coffees per day(3$/day :(). Previously loathed American coffee (decafs) and now gulping it by the gallons.

- Addicted to TV shows (2 episodes of Two and a Half Men, 2 episodes of Prison Break , 2 episodes of How I met your Mother). And that's just the average.

- Eyes glued to the laptop for close to 21 hours everyday, half the time for reasons above, and the other half conduting "simulations" that run forever and suck the blood off ma eyes.

- Not picking calls. An intensive urge to NOT pick calls. But returning calls within next 24 hrs.
Weird huh? Hey, that's why I self-proclaim maself as OCD. duh!

- Running. A lot. Running like it's my job. Running like I am escaping death. Running like the world is coming to an end. Running like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. Ok you get it, right?!

- Talking to A, morning, afternoon, evening and in the night. IST. Ok timezones does'nt matter since I am talking all day long. :)

A ton more of such obsessions..but did the inquisitive soul in you just ask me, "Then when is it that you study?"


PS: As my professor once said, is your blog a "ME ME ME ME" blog? So I will try to post something more generic and not just about me. Till then I will beat you to death with the updates of my life.

My dear Internet

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You have changed, affected & healed lives.

Ok, sounds cliched. *grin*

I mean it does make a lot of difference the way we have changed our perspective to meet the Internet savvy life.

I often go on trips and like to take tons of pics of the place I visit.
It usually ends up with more than 50% photos capturing 'us' than the place.
Ok, coming back to the point, most of the times when I take a pic of my friends I can hear them say
"Hey that background would look so good on Orkut!"
So if it sounds as though these pics are taken only 'coz we can sport them on orkut, facebook, myspace etc., you are right! LOL.

Or the time when my dad asks me, "So I doubt you are studying at grad school. Just curious, what do you do? Movies?"
"TV shows dad", pat comes the reply.
"You have a TV at home?", he asks, more curious.
"No, my laptop", I tell
"What? TV show on your computer?", he quips.
"Err..never mind. How is the weather back home?", I veer the topic.

Well, even dad gets to put me on spot at times.
"So what have you been doing today? Been to a walk outside?", I ask naively.
"Solitaire", he says, like it is the norm of the day.


On one other occasion. I was at my campus library, scouring for some book.
Apparently the only two copies of the were checked out and it left me irked.
All that biking to this place for miles from my apartment added more to my frustration.

"Can I recall those books? I absolutely need a copy. Do you think the West Campus (other library) would have it?", I ask. To which the old lady at desk says calmly "You can look over at the e-book version"
Duhhh! I know that!x-(
I don't exactly belong to planet Mars. Or maybe they have their own Internet there too. Martian Internet. LOL

My professor once quipped in class.
"Do you know the biggest advantage of doing research in the field of Web spam?"
We all nodded "NO" and blinked at him.
"If your wife catches you browsing unethical sites and frowns on your browser history, you can always tell that you were researching spam on the Internet, it is part of your research", he chuckled.

So the thing is if you are taking pictures for Orkut or you want to shop online for a pair of earphones, or you just feel like reading a book or heck, watch a movie before it hits the theatres, you know that Internet has changed your life.:-)

For the heck of it

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Yeah. It is true.
It is simply one more of those days.
You are sitting and thinking about which homework to work on (ya, its true you only "think" not "act")
over that Mac D coffee (addicted to it now:( ), keeping aside the one SQL query you need to write (which i have been
procrastinating from past 4 days?) and yet i cannot stop but wonder how Chinese men/women are so athletic!

Yeah! How are they so slim and athletic? Can someone answer me (for a grand prize of a dollar meal at Mc D?)
LOL.

Seriously, whenever I travel (ya i am always on bike/bus, not on my feet most of the times) I watch
at the Chinese women with their perfect silky hair pulled into a pony tail and their super athletic body.

But today, surprise surprise. I saw a near to fat Chinese lady and chuckled to myself "Finally!!"

But still she was'nt even fat as me (Hey that doesnt mean am fat! Minced my words i guess!:((

Anyway, I told this to a girlfrnd of mine and she honestly, put the most straight face (the type of expression a li'l kid
would have on his face when he asks you a naive question) and told me
"But I thought most of them are Sumo wrestlers"

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!! You are deep shit you know!", I told her

She nodded her head to the greatest capacity possible.

"Explain", she demanded.

"First of all Sumo wrestlers are of Japanese origin, so your whole doubt on this topic is baseless.
Next, sumo wrestlers are supposed to be fat, That's their profession.
And finally don't you ever demand me for an explanation to a silly doubt"

So much for asking. So now am at Google search typing "Why are chinese so atheletic?".
Lets see what google gives..

LMAO

Results:

"My non-sexual threesome adventure - Canadian Chinese Youth Athletics Association"
"The chinese University of HongKong Required Physical Education Athletics Course notes"


Honestly, I would'nt have minded if they gave me pages of the 2008 Olympics at Beijing.
But this, my friend is pure hilarious.

Wait a second. Wasnt I supposed to be writing that SQL query?

Want free coffee in your mail box? :-)

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Sign up for some Jamaican flavored coffee delivered to your mail.
And no I am not kidding!!

http://beta.joffreys.com/

I am waiting for my free coffee to arrive. I can already smell it. sniff, sniff!
*grin*

Happiness, right now

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..to sit on a couch and sip piping hot (filter) coffee with a book on life.
..to be able to walk on a long abandoned road in the dark and sing out aloud my favorite tune
..to sit on a beach and try to think of nobody but the 'sun'
..to go to a park and run around my dog (when I have one)
..to always be able to eat a tuna sandwich if i want one, anytime of the day

I cant think of any more..right now.

Do you want me to take my shoes off?

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So are you always like this?

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Yeah. I have been asked that a lot of times.
And well its not annoying anymore. I jus thought, "let it be!"

There were like a 100 times when dad talks to me and I reply in monosyllables until..

Dad: So thats the thing. I hate that neighbor. He barfs as hell. He is such a [beeeeeeeeeeep]
Me: Hmmm
Dad: ..he is such a dumbwit. He doesnt even know that such a thing existed. Can you believe that?
Me: Hmmm
Dad: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Hmmm
Dad: I am hanging up!!
Me: Actually, there is this totally cool movie I am watching.
Dad: [click]

the fone tone goes on for eternity and i go back to my movie.

The other day ma friend asked me "Are you always like this?"
I said "Like what?" with the most innocent face I could make up. But that did'nt stop her from saying "Ok. Forget it!"

Or..this one..you gotta hear this one.

X: So your voicemail. Its interesting.
Me: Yeah i know. I was walking down the curb and thought hey why not set up my voicemail. And then I am at loss for words. I actually start talking and then i take this long pause.
X: No, I mean..its hideous ur voicemail
Me: Well you just said its interesting. did'nt you?
X: I mean what is that rhyme in it?
Me: Its called creativity
X: Are you always like this?
Me: Like what?
X: I mean..
Me: No! Tell me! So many people tell me this "Are you always like this?"
I wana know like what! Really! Tell me! Today is one of those "Tell it to me" days. So tellllll me!
X: Forget it!

Well one of the movies i wanted to start downloading..laters with this post.

I heard someone wincing "Are you always like this?" or maybe I am conditioned into hearing that stuff ;)

And yeah, next time some one asks you "Are you always like this?" and you wana tell me that, I believe you! Oh yeah!