Awesome Indian things # 7 : Afternoon TV shows

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Remember Dekh Bhai Dekh? I was a big fan of that show as a kid. In fact, I remember waiting for the school bell to ring so I could run out and catch the bus to see this show in time! It was crazy good.

Then there were a stream of other shows. Soap operas like Shanti, Swabhimaan, Junoon. Ha!

And then TV channels happened. More choices happened...that paradoxically made life difficult. Boo.

What happened to the thrill of waiting for that one show we all liked? Dekh Bhai Dekh was such a wonderful comedy. Some genuine laughs. No inappropriate humor. No cheap tricks. Lot of gags and fun!

Even slipping on a peel of banana was comedy-like.

I even loved MTV India then! MTV Select (used to play 4-ish in the evening everyday) by that dude Nikhil Chinappa who is still apparently around and MTV Most Wanted were my guide to English music world. Ah, the 90's!

What happened then?

The invasion of inane "saas-bahu" soaps and westernized reality show bullshit happened.

In fact going even back in time, I loved the lineup of Sunday shows (starting with Rangoli and ending in Mahabharat). Epic times.

And now we are left with banal reality TV and rigged dramas whose sole purpose is TRP hijacking.

Sad. Sad. Sad.

Thankfully, we have the Internet to go watch re-runs of those old shows and form communities around discuss them! So life isn't that bad after all:)

Off I go.

Awesome Indian things # 6 : The 1 Rupee Popsicle called Pepsi

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Image courtesy: Google image search

Remember those plastic tube shaped popsicles they sold outside the schools? 50 paise a piece and 1 rupee for the longer one that was cut into halves? We fondly called them "Pepsi". Although I wonder, why they were called Pepsi in the first place!

I somehow had very little fetish for the ice colored popsicles. But I couldn't resist the flavored milk ones! Those were my favorites. I remember boys in my class tearing off the the ends of the plastic and using it to spray the water over each other at recess. Haha. It was ridiculous fun!

At my school we were divided into "sections". There was always a constant tussle between Section A (where I belonged) and Section B boys. Often over someone sprinkling colored water off these tubes on a random girl's skirt ;-)

After savoring the popsicles the boys would promptly roll it and inflate them with air only to make loud noises off them while deflating them. Oh the sort of stuff that made us instantly happy (only to be ruined by this Facebook-ridden online world)

On one of holidays to India, I was uber surprised to see a dedicated "Ice gola" shop setup a block from my home. And I was more surprised to see my dad taking a dig at it. From when did he start loving this stuff? When I was a kid I was strictly warned to keep off them due to health hazards (bad water = jaundice, the Indian parents preached then.) It also reminds me how this picture (below) got viral where it was cleverly named "Gogola" in google colors. Ha! Legendary stuff.

Someone build a time traveling machine. Please.

Image courtesy: Google image search

Awesome Indian things # 5 : Autograph book

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In the 90's, high schools in India never had any 'graduation' ceremonies. Well, we did, sort of. Only we called them 'farewells'. And we didn't have yearbooks.

And so, one exciting thing about the days leading to the farewell was something we humbly called "Autograph book" (although I can't claim this to be an Indian thing, it surely was one of the highlights of high school farewells in India.) 

This springs back memories of every kind. What made this entire affair so exciting was - "What is that special guy/girl going to write about you?". As was the concept, we maintained a different autograph book for the faculty - the most boring, plain looking and serious autograph book would be promptly picked from Hallmark. The jazzy and style statement autograph book was bought to pass around friends.

And thereby the least controversial and at the same time, most cliched line of the millennium was born.

"Be yourself" - this line was scrolled all over each other's autograph book. Till this date, I believe that 90% of us who scrolled that line, didn't really mean it because we didn't really understand it (we didn't care. If we had to write a line for someone we didn't particularly care about, we would scribble "Be Yourself". Whatever that was supposed to mean, huh?

Some of them were outright shabby. They would write a word and then scratch it to death (so I couldn't read what was written! Mystery eh?). This pissed me off because here was a beautiful and colorful looking book and some was shitting all over it.

Some of them thought took pride in leaving a few pages and then writing somewhere in middle of the book. Seriously? You think I am going to search all over the book just to see where you might have written your precious pearls of wisdom and sweet nothings for me? Get a life dude.

And from the person who meant the most to you (i.e. in your fantasy world. why else would you be excited about a damn rambling on a book?), there would be cryptic statements. Something of the sort - "You are special". And you could run your imaginations wild with it. (Remember, you and him/her are in a fantasy world? Anything is possible here. No boundaries on imagination.) And then we could dish out our own interpretation with our friends. "He wrote to me! He wrote he loves me! He said I was beautiful and he is smitten by me" (See how the statement was interpreted. No mention of the "you are special" part. It morphs into beautiful, sexy, attractive, gorgeous, I love you)

Of course, there also had to be an equally unexciting dreary world of teachers' autograph book. Full of life lessons (which they never taught in class but rushed to write in my autograph book instead) - "You must persevere", "Achieve great heights and work hard", "Make your parents and teachers proud"

See where that was going? And as if this wasn't enough I had lots of God's messages scrolled over my book (I studied in a convent). 

"God will show you the path." "God bless you and your life." "God will guide you to your goal."

Sigh. The point being, too much of that stuff just had an opposite effect on us. Heck, no one really even bothered reading through the book (unless one of us had a crush on the teacher, which I unfortunately never experienced. Never mind that.)

I wish I had a favorite in them (at least I don't remember. It was decades ago!). I wish I could actually run into one of those things and see what sort of nonsensical stuff my school friends had written then. It would be amazing to scan them and put them up on this blog. Like anonymous autographs from the 90's ha!

Where did all that naive love go to? Bring back the autograph books!

Awesome Indian things # 3 : Prabhu Deva songs

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Prabhu Deva. The 90's. Crazy dance moves. Respect.

I mean who didn't like Prabhu Deva right? The man just rocked it in loose baggy style pants. Chikku Bukku Chikku Bukku Rayile....did you think you could make trains sound any more cooler?

Yep. He had arrived.

It was crazy in the 90's. Cable TV was just getting traction. Plus Doordarshan was actually making efforts (I know!) to air those nice countdown shows. It seemed like I could never escape all of Prabhu Deva's cult songs.

Chikku Bukku Rayile

Mukkala Mukkabala

Urvasi Urvasi

But nothing struck my inner soul like this song - Petta Rap.

I really really really really loved it. Like more than the Saturday night special pulao my mom used to make for me. I mean if you knew me, you would gasp "No way!". That's because as a kid I was a food monster (eating incredible amounts of food was a way of life). And here, I am telling you Petta Rap took that coveted place, for a brief period.

I remember going to this function at my relative's place (after much coaxing from my mother. I hated and still hate any kind of social settings that includes my relatives). However, this one time I agree I enjoyed. Why?

Because they had me at Petta Rap.

Apparently a bunch of my cousins (all boys. I am one of the only 2 girl cousins in my family among some 15 odd cousins), made it their mission to make this function sort of mildly entertaining. So a scheming cousin, wears his baggy pants inside out and starts "Petta Rap". Plus they had a sidekick (who looked just as dangerously skinny like Vadivelu) dressed superficially in a saree, lip syncing with the old woman's voice in the song. Each time my cousin lifted his baggy pants up and did a pelvic thrust we invited the cold stares and talking mouths from the senior citizens camp (If you ever in a Tamil family ceremony you would understand how much drama this would have created)

So my dear cousin, all though I don't remember which one of the half a dozen cousins you were, I bow to you. I was too egoistic as a kid to join you in this blasphemy of dance (I feared kids wouldn't take me serious), but you taught me their is always hope in dreadfully boring family ceremonies.

All thanks to Prabhu Deva.

Awesome Indian things # 2 : Golli

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Now don't be all smart ass and type "Golli" in Google search and expect a neat wikipedia page on it ok? On second thoughts, I must speak to the engineers on the search team, explain them that what we are talking here is of national importance :-)

Remember Golli (aka Gotti) my Indian mates? The awesome, epic street game of marbles, colorful ones at that. Marbles I used to steal from my brother and other street kids to make my own collection. Yes, all is fair in love, war and game of marbles.

This was epic. More so because my parents loathed it. You know how you get a kick of it, by doing something that your parents intensely oppose? So not only did I steal (or win marbles, yes I was the envy of the local guys) but I also had to constantly change their hideout. I always kept it adventurous. It was all so thrilling as a kid. Specially since we had no Internet or Ipods or Iphones then. If they had Internet then, I would have published a blog on how Golli increased the niche skills of concentration and competitiveness among kids and showed it to my parents.

I mean which Indian kid in the 80's didn't enjoy a game of marbles, braving the tropical heat of India? And the best part is how serious we took the game for. I mean really all those blames on each other of cheating and then an eventual fight breaking out. For example, I constantly blamed guys of lifting their thumb of the ground while aiming with their forefinger at another marble. As an aside, I had pretty good nails, ready to claw up guys if a fight broke out. Yes, I had claws. A girl has gotta take advantage of her DNA (for defense purposes only)

My mom could tell, when I came back home with unkempt hair, grime in my finger nails and darting eyes (as I had to quickly arrange for a hideout for my marble loot from today's game). She mostly overlooked it. And since my dad was mostly somewhere in the Middle East at the time, working his ass off for kids he thought were doing their homework diligently, I was in a marble friendly world. Until he came on vacations and I had to put on a skirt and act all goody-goody with this godforsaken doll of a thing. Yes I hated dolls. There I said it. Too. Much. Pressure.

Now who wants to play golli with me?

Because you don't want to invite the wrath of Crime Master Gogo - Aankhen nikaal kar gottiya khel tha hoon gottiya. 

Awesome Indian things # 1 : Sugarcane Juice

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Move over Diet Coke, Mountain Dew, Dr. Pepper, Tropicana, Red Bulls of the world. You thought you could juice it up? Well nothing tastes sweeter than Sugarcane, you jack asses.

Pic courtesy: Wikipedia (A Hyderabadi sugarcane juice vendor)

Wow, that was bold. And no, I am not psyched in the middle of the night over a drink.

I just love some Indian things you know. Things that were near and dear when I grew up in apna Hyderabad. Well, oh well. #JustSaying

This was my go-to drink you know. Days while lounging outside in the heat with my hall ticket to be seated in for some god-knows-which-entrance exam. Being a student in India was tough man. And here I hear people talk about absurd number of homeworks and paper deadlines. Come to India mate, I will show you what it is to write a bazillion entrance exams, each one for a different school, major and god only knows what else they throw in these days.

Anyhow, so anyone worth their Hyderabadi life will know how the local cinema halls used to shut us out till the nth second and would let you in only a moment before they screen the cinema. Remember? SO annoying. And to stand in that blistering heat (think Texas heat here) without a glass of sugarcane would be blasphemy, no? I remember filling a Milton flask full of sugarcane juice once for the entire family of 4 before we headed for Jurassic Park. (How much I miss the 90's. boo-hoo!)

And how many times has someone warned you about the wrong kind of water they use to make that sugarcane and how many times have you heeded to that warning? Not once. Haha. You could take fever but not say no to sugarcane juice.

Funny, how the warnings now are less about "bad" water and more about "calories". Things change, trends change, people change.

Sugarcane juice, anyone?