"Did you see that?", I ask my friend sullenly.
"See what?", he shoots back.
I replay how I just saw an old ailing couple, sitting on a pavement and sharing halves of what looked like an orange. As I recollect, I realize how cold I felt on the shaded street that winter evening. I couldn't help but wonder how tiny rags did any good for the homeless couple on that street.
It doesn't help much to discuss at length about such "obvious" things in India. Things that wrap me in pangs of guilt. Because we speak about them and easily forget. Like every time, I try to push out such gloomy thoughts out of my mind. But there is always a breadcrumb of trailing thoughts that follow me, eventually.
"There is so much I can do. There is so much I can give back. Then why am I not doing that?", I keep questioning myself. The feeling is unsettling at best. But I can easily distract myself through work, books or movies.
"There is so much I can do. There is so much I can give back. Then why am I not doing that?", I keep questioning myself. The feeling is unsettling at best. But I can easily distract myself through work, books or movies.
The next morning at work, I am vile about a news story that ran last night. I narrate to my co-worker about a group of cops (I think?) who defused couple of bombs in metropolitan Pune this year (with no body protection) and the government gave them 100 rupees (2 US dollars) as a reward, the story reported.
"Why? Why do we (Indians) put cricketers and celebrities on a pedestal and shower them with huge monetary rewards that they apparently don't even need, but we insult such acts of bravery? Why is a human life so cheap in India?". I seethe in anger as I eat my lunch. "I hate how we are so contradictory. And yet here we are eating a big lunch and watching a stupid cricket match.", I mutter under by breath as the match plays over a big LCD in the office cafetaria. (Two people across the table shoot me questioning glances. I was loud enough apparently.)
"You cannot think about everything at once", my lunchmate replies matter-of-factly.
I am furious and he does his best to calm me. We decide to take a walk and talk about it.
"We must do the really tiny things we can.", I say.
He nods in approval. "Did you see how much food is being wasted in the cafe?"
We have a whiteboard where the cafe team puts up the quantity of food wasted everyday. Data that embarrasses me. I again sulk in depression.
He waves me aside and tells "That's the power of data. Unfortunately, that isn't leveraged to send the right signals to everyone. Do you know how many people are even taking notice of it or pausing to reflect over their food wastage?", he asks. I continue, "To bring out the real problems, we need both - data and insights that evoke a reaction from people." We both nod and sigh in approval.
Charity starts at home, they say. Do your bit, they say. But how many of us really do our bit? Yes, each of us have personal goals, commitments, promises to keep. But is giving back such a big deal at all? I think not.
I am now going to obsess over how much food I am wasting, or how much coffee I leave behind in the cup. This week I have decided to journal this. Yes, I want to quantify this. Yes, I want to be pedantic about this so I can take a stand for myself - That I will never waste food. Maybe I am selfish because am trying avenues to live up to my conscience. So be it. But the repercussions are plenty and unknown to us - for example an article that tries to demystify Why India can't feed its people put me on the edge once again.
I think everyone knows and agrees that we don't have to be the Bill Gates of charity. We just need to our bit - our own acts of kindness and generosity. Because being generous, it seems to me, is ridiculously easy.
