Do you want me to take my shoes off?

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So are you always like this?

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Yeah. I have been asked that a lot of times.
And well its not annoying anymore. I jus thought, "let it be!"

There were like a 100 times when dad talks to me and I reply in monosyllables until..

Dad: So thats the thing. I hate that neighbor. He barfs as hell. He is such a [beeeeeeeeeeep]
Me: Hmmm
Dad: ..he is such a dumbwit. He doesnt even know that such a thing existed. Can you believe that?
Me: Hmmm
Dad: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Hmmm
Dad: I am hanging up!!
Me: Actually, there is this totally cool movie I am watching.
Dad: [click]

the fone tone goes on for eternity and i go back to my movie.

The other day ma friend asked me "Are you always like this?"
I said "Like what?" with the most innocent face I could make up. But that did'nt stop her from saying "Ok. Forget it!"

Or..this one..you gotta hear this one.

X: So your voicemail. Its interesting.
Me: Yeah i know. I was walking down the curb and thought hey why not set up my voicemail. And then I am at loss for words. I actually start talking and then i take this long pause.
X: No, I mean..its hideous ur voicemail
Me: Well you just said its interesting. did'nt you?
X: I mean what is that rhyme in it?
Me: Its called creativity
X: Are you always like this?
Me: Like what?
X: I mean..
Me: No! Tell me! So many people tell me this "Are you always like this?"
I wana know like what! Really! Tell me! Today is one of those "Tell it to me" days. So tellllll me!
X: Forget it!

Well one of the movies i wanted to start downloading..laters with this post.

I heard someone wincing "Are you always like this?" or maybe I am conditioned into hearing that stuff ;)

And yeah, next time some one asks you "Are you always like this?" and you wana tell me that, I believe you! Oh yeah!

Pivot Tables versus Me

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It was a rather friggin' day.
A mid term and then you walk astray.
You donno wot to do
When there is a call for an interview

No! Am not trying too hard to sound rhymy.
My thoughts jus' poured into a rhyme. Thank you very much.!

An excerpt from the interview..

Lady: So, MAN-joo is that how they pronounce your name? [Giggles]
Me: [Not cross! With the most expressionless look] Yes

Note: I gave up explaining Americans how the first three letters of my name isnt an offshoot of the english word "man" but its a vicious world. They jus' dont wana listen to you! They jus' wana eat you and call you MAN

Lady: So you mentioned you have prior work experience on campus?
Me: (the same expressionless face) Yeah.

Lady: Can you tell me a li'l abt it?
Me: (yaawwwwn) It was an office assistant job

Lady: So what kind of stuff you got to do?
Me: (Felt like faking euphoria about ma previous job. But i let it pass.) It was the normal office chores. Photocopying, attending calls, faxing..stuff like that

Lady: Do you know pivot tables?
Me: (Excuse me!) Blank expression

Lady: There was this nice Indian guy who worked with us previously. He did those pivot tables

Lady2: Oh Debbie you dont! You love him so much for pivot tables you would wana search where he is now and get him back dont you?

Lady: I mean it was so awesome. Pivot tables are so awesome.

Lady2: Ya, you always tell me that! (Looks towards me and says) She always tells me that!

Me: (Totally clueless. What is happening here?) Nodding

Lady: So, do you know pivot tables?

Me: (Same blank face) No

Lady: Oh thats a shame!

Me: (wtf!) Isnt this an office assistant job?

Lady: You mentioned Excel on your resume.

Me: (Correcting her) Parts of Excel. I wrote that in there in my CV

Lady: Ya, but you know pivot tables are so awesome.

Me: (Somebody jus' wipe her away from the face of this earth) But that is not a part of the job description you advertised.

Lady: (Shoots a cold look for a brief instant)

Lady2: errr..so manju aside from office chores did you do anything else?

Me:(Oh ya! I socialised with this fat lady in my office and talked about pigs often with her! Duh!)
Well, I used to come early to work, pull up the blinds, turn off the answering machine..stuff like that.

Lady: So...

(one more time she says pivot tables I swear i was ready to storm out of the room but she dint)

Lady:...can you make me a cup of coffee?

Me: Is that a part of this interview?

Ladies laugh. I guess they eased a bit now.

Lady: I cant live without coffee you know!

Lady2: Me too!

Me: Hahaha (like it was a BIG joke! But I swear i didnt know how to react to this)

Lady: So manju temme will you do coffee for us?

Me: Sure i will if you pay me by the cup! And not by the hour!

Lady: (Laughs)

Lady: So describe a crisis situation you were in before and what you did to come out of it.

Me: (I was aching to tell, for example am in a crisis situation now. Stuck with two insane ladies who jus think the world of pivot tables and coffee. To come out of it I can act like am going into a coma??) I screwed up my company's SMTP server once.

Lady: Blink
Lady2: Blink

Me: Its a long story. I came out of it by just informing my manager about it and sought help.

Lady: OK

Me: (Wow! I shut her up! LOL)

Lady: We have another round of interview now.

Me: (Wot da hell???? Wot????)

Lady2: Come with me Manju. You need to do a li'l exercise for us.

Me: (Are you kidding me???)

Lady2: (Takes me to a desktop, logs me in and says) You need to write a small draft. We would want to rate your writing and articulating abilities

Me: (Havent I displayed my marvellous articulation back in there?) Yeah. Sure.

Lady2: You have 30 mins for this activity

Me: (Dont even bother! Am gona shoot this off in like 5 mins. Gimme the damned desktop now)
Alrite. Can i go ahead now?

Lady2: Please do. Once your done, take a print and slip the paper in if am not around. I might be gone.

Me: (You cant put me up with this lame stuff and go out for a smoke!) Ok. Not a problem.

I did finish in like 8 mins. I found her and gave her the paper.
She did the customary "It was nice talking to you" and I did the customary "Same here"

Came out and breathed in some crisp evening air.

Did i jus' tell her it was nice talking to her? Somebody kick me!

I wanna sue life! x-(

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Life's so cliched these days.

Ya, i like to put it that way than rather say life is routine.
It sounds so cliched doesnt it?

I met this super woman at a conference last week.
It blew me off! The way she could talk her way out of things, her hardships, her triumphs, her experiences and her commitment to work and life, to everything that mattered, her family, her kids, her friends. It was all so inspiring. And yet she was so humbly humble! (if there is such a thing as humbly humble!)

Anyway, my point is, life gets cliched when you dont sit up and think in ur head, think for urself.
What do i wana get out of MY life.?
No this isnt a self help book.
Am serious! Am screwed up most of da times, but i can still do this "am serious" thing at times.

Each passing day, we dont realise how we might be ruining dos moments which can MAKE ur life the way you want it to be.
Why should we think in the same lines? What after college? What after ma first job? What after marriage? What after kids?

Its like we are trained to do this. All so robotic!
'
There are days when I have walked on a road without even as much a thought as "is it da right way am going?" because my mind and body are automated to walk that road evry single day so ma mind wont "think". The mind has been put to sleep. It jus' leads me to the place I wana go..magical isnt it? Its devastatingly mechanical, if u ask me x-(
Your mind isnt in control about what you do, where you go, coz it has seized to think.

And life plays its little games on you!
Life is what you make it to be. So its that part of ma life where am sitting up and doing some "soul searching" (beat da heck outta exams and homeworks!! who cares! people do. but they dont rule ma life, do they?)

I, me, maself

Ya i know i am such a self centered swine. But I love maself too much and am proud of me.
To others, I am gona sue you! x-(
Am done sueing life

Amen.

Perspective

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Is the sun rising or setting?

Courtesy: My software engineering class :)

..And even if it kills me am gonna smile :=)

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So says my facebook 'Quote for the Day' app.

Its amusing how people cannot get themselves to smile these days.
And wots more amusing is its taken a toll on me.
Its like I have been trained to do the 'dont-smile-at-people-becoz-they-dont-smile-at-you-neways-so-why-shud-you' act!(phew. that was long!)

I mean, you hav'nt got like the crumbiest teeth have you?

You jus' walk down the road and you see how people are scheming on how to steal glances at you and not smile or plain dart their eyes and roll them down like they are in deep thought.

Like there is this friend o' mine, he knows me, we took courses together and yet he cant bring himself to acknowledge me with a smile. Heck, you dont hav to socialise to smile!

Or there is more pronounced trend amongst us(or so i think!)..You walk by, on a road, sum crowded joint, library or simply by the classroom and you see this person walkin towards you..and your mind starts to race (ya, mind! not da heart.dats a totally different story neway;)).

/me versus mind

me: heck, should I?
mind: who, what?

me: ders smone coming dis side. vaguely familiar.
mind: oh ummm.so?

me: shud I?
mind: huh?

me: shud i errr..smile?
mind: is dat smthing you ought to think so much abt. it aint rocket science. so do it dammit!

me:

the person walks by

me: seeeeeeeeee! he dint even know me! i feel like a fool.
mind: lol. wot a loser! move on girl! see..ders sum eye candy der by the water fountain. watcha think?

so you see folks, listen to your mind.
And ya, SMILE! Even if you dont know me;)

And thats how you build character..

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If you ask me this whole thing about "building character" is bullshit.

There was a time when i jumped around in skirts, basking in ma outdoorsy delights (playing marbles! yayyyy!!)
or simply taking pride in ma elementary school victories (winning a lemon-n-spoon contest! yayyyyy!)

But dad wud'nt think so! x-(

He wanted me to clean the porch or cut vegetables for mom or learn "how to pay the home electricity bill"
Becoz he thot it builds character.

I argued "How can standing in one long queue outside a govt. office drenching in ma own sweat and praying that ma turn to pay the bill came soon, build character?"
Its supposed to give me a headache, if you ask me!

Or there was a time when I was sick and crawled upto him one nite and said, "Dad, i wana puke." and he said, "There's the bathroom. You know what to do".
"You know wot, i dono how to puke! So you better get out of the bed!"

And thats when after da bathroom hustle I was lectured more on character building.

Later as I began to stay out of home, I finally said to maself "Manju, no more character building.!"

Along came "cleanliness" freaks, "perfectionist" team leads, "organized" roommates
All of them with a single motto "character building is the crux of life"

Now when ma dad calls me, he often asks
"So are you guys paying up your bills in time?"

To which I reply, "Yeah. All the character building apparently has gone ONLINE"

Why can't I ever build character in a Miami condo or a casino somewhere?
-- Calvin

Eavesdropping & more..

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Girl at walmart counter: So how u doin' today?
Desi guy: [Dumbstruck..stares at the girl]
Girl: Everyting ok with you sir?
Desi guy: [Wakes up] What?

Me [on fone]: Vet Med Park. This is Manju. How may I help you?
Caller: Ma pigs..
Me: Am sorry (?!??)
Caller: Ma pigs..they are sick.
Me: huh?
Caller: Ma pigs are sick. They dont eat anymore. Wot do i do?
Me: Err..Am sorry ma'm you dialled the wrong number
Caller: Isnt that what a vet is supposed to do? You medicate ma pigs!
Me: Am sorry this is College of Veterinary Medicine. We DO NOT take care of animal medication or consultation and..
Caller: [Getting hysterical] But they are sick!
Me: You need to check the yellow pages ma'm
Caller: So can you gimme the number?
Me: [ha so clever!] Sure.

[At the bus stop]
Girl to Guy: So, what's ur number?
Guy: 979-blah-blah
Girl: Aha. So we meet this Sat to get the homework done?
Guy: Yep
Girl: I have this American Association blah blah meeting I gotta attend. And there's the first meeitngof Origami society after that. So it might take me sumtime to get started on the homework
Guy: [Nods]
Another girl waving at the girl: Heyyyyyyyyy Michhhhelle..[Hugs] Howwww are yaaaa?! I missed yaaa..
Girl: Awwwwwwwwww
Guy: [Crossing his eyebrows and staring]
Girl: I misssed you tooooo
Girl # 2: Oh you dint!
Girl: i did!
Girl # 2: Did not!
Girl: Did!
Girl # 2: Did not!
[Phone rings]
Girl: Heyyyyyy Stephhh!!! howwww r yaaa??? i missed ya..
Girl: Oh my god! Ohhh - myyyyy - goddddd
Girl # 2: [Shaking her hands, legs, hips in a frenzy..] What? What happened?
Girl: Ok!!!! i will be there in a jiffy.
[Hangs up]
Girl # 2: Whatttttttt??
Girl: We are having a party tonite. We gotta get supplies and cook and..
Girl # 2: ohhhh-myyyyy-goddddd! Shudddddddup!
Girl to guy [as she runs off]: Hey J#$%^%. Gotta go! C ya around.
Guy: [Smiles]

Girls walk away

Guy: BITCH!!!!


At a career fair presentation..
Chinese Guy: So is it is the you do fy-nance see-ayl and aaaaa solutions and wan(t) still to ty-ke petroleum ma-jores for soft-wire????
Representative: aaaah, can u repeat the question?
Chinese Guy: [Repeats]
Rep: huh..ya [nods, without a clue about what he was asked]
Chinese Guy: So is it is the work giv-and to thy ma-jores from pet-roll-eum not rel-oh-vent to the areas of inter-rest of what we dooo at compass and how is it go-ing to bene-fitt the comp-ony and you?
Rep: huh..ya. huhhhhhhhh..ummmm
Desi: He wants to know how you are benefitting by recruiting petroleum majors though you are essentially into creating financial software solutions.
Rep: Ohhhhhhhhh! Oh that..ok. it goes like this..blah blah blah

LOL !

On skydiving, clicking pictures & pregnant ladies

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An hour of software engineering classwork:

Me: [walks in. Front rows are empty. Damn! There isnt any place at the back. Damn!]
Lively (professor): What time is it?

Me: huh?

Lively: When does the class begin?
Phoren guy: 3 pm!

Lively: And wot time is it now?
Phoren guy: 3.10 sir!

Lively: Okkie then. I wud appreciate if you guys come to class in time
Me: Duhhh!

Lively: [paces up and down] you thereeeee!!
[Points at a guy behind] Have I taken your picture?

Guffaws..

Guy behind: Yes you have

Lively: hmmm. I dont remember ya. Anyone who hasnt, get your picture taken after the class.Now leme see if i can get your names and faces right.

Lively: [looks at me] Joshi?
Me: Naa..Manju.

Lively: Yeah. You take out your glasses and let your hair down for a picture and then you come all tied up other times. How am i supposed to know its you!?

Me: [holy shitttt!!]

More guffaws

Lively: Girls and their hairstyles.okkie then lets begin the class.

Me: [finally! Time to doze ]

Lively: So what is web engineering? Anyone?
McMillan: Umm, its engineering of the web?

Plenty of Guffaws!

Lively: [paces up and down, faces the class and with a stoic expression] is it wot spiders do?

hahaha!

Lively: blah blah blah. So what do we call systems that can handle catastrophic situations? Anyone?

[pauses]

McMillan: fail-safe?
Lively: Who said that? Who?

Class goes into a lull.

Guy at the door: It came from that direction.

Lively: Mcmilllllllllllllllllan??????
McMillan: errr..

Lively: [eyebrows crossed] McMillan! Whats fail safe?
McMillan: Systems that are safe from failure?

hahaha

Lively: They are called fault tolerant..blah blah blah..Have you heard of the Mythical Man Month? Anybody?

Lively: Okkkie then. It says "Persons and months dont interchange". Or dooooooooooooooooooo they?????Ummm. What happens if they are 1000 developers working on one single project?

Desi guy [waiting to impress] : It leads to conflicts. There wont be a consensus and leads to low productivity

Lively: Good! Let me see. If a woman can give birth to a newborn in 9 months can 9 women do it in a single month??

Guffaws n guffaws!

Lively: Awwwrite! [Turns and stares point blank at me] What is the terminal velocity rate when you sky dive?
Me: [My wake up call!] 124mph!

Lively: You! Manju! You are gona make an A in ma class!
Me: I sure will!

Lively: I was testing if you guys lend me a ear when I talk gibberish.
Me: duhh!

yada yada yada

End of the class.

So anyone can tell me what I quoted about productivity?

Some voice in the class: 9 pregnant ladies?
Lively: Awwrite. Dont write that in ma mid term

How I cooked up blog titles and then ran out of steam..

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It happened on a sordid afternoon, 3 hours back, when in the parking lot me and ma lunch partner discovered....
helmet lock...that can open with any key(huh! wot did u think? wots great about a helmet lock? aint dat dumb. :x)

yeah...and then...i said in ma throaty voice (down with a bit of cold), lets blog abt it?

We lapped up a rotten meal for lunch and felt proud abt skipping an expensive looking restaurant for this rotten meal.
"Lets wash it up wid an ice cream cone", lp suggested

lp == lunch partner, for the uninitiated.

And then we skipped another expensive looking ice cream parlor..

"We can find a softie on our way bak to our abode", we proudly declared in chorus.

And then we dint spot an ice cream parlor newhere else.

"Wots wrong wid da world? Isnt there any sound person who nurtures the idea of opening an ice cream parlor?", I thought.

That's when I thot to hell wid blogging...to hell wid evrything..

If you cant get an ice cream, swell! Wot is life then about?

Life is then abt blog titles;) Exactly..Dint know if relating all ma past incidents across several posts was a gud idea..so I thot why not just end up with self explanatory blog titles!!!!
(Ya i welcum claps..thank u thank u!)

So here goes.

- How me and ma lp found dat his helmet lock opens wid ne damned key and no, human nails arent even close to opening it!

- How I impressed ma visa officer wid a crisp shirt and lots of grins and got ma visa of course!

- How I shopped at a store day after day and end the day with a hysterical fight evryday

- How I am learning to car drive with a barking car instructor who goes spookily silent on evry Mon, Tue, Wed and Sat

- How the li'l girl on the street nudged at me and said "Didi..chaaabi.." and I thanked god she called me didi and not aunty

- How I was treated to a farewell party and people kept asking me "Ur leaving right?" while I was still very much an employee

- And how at the same farewell party I intended to give a farewell speech and ended up sharing controversial anecdotes

- How i frantically Alt + Tab when ma lead comes to ma desk and still orkut will magically pop up upfront

- How I read "Tuesdays wid morrie" and went and asked ma dad "Are you suffering from ALS?" and next day made ma lp read da wikipedia on ALS.

- How I visited a money swindling doctor (and still visiting out of compulsion) and make him record da pulse rate, BP, weight, height and feel satisfied abt da whole affair being paisa-vasool.

Life I tell u...hmmm...dont even bother! I sign off here.
And wot are u doin here? Go watch Chitrahaar! Like I care! duhhh.

So, do you suffer from chair butts?

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That li'l thing called courtesy

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It started when dad's cellfone broke down..
No, actually it started with the bacteria (or is it micro organisms?)
that infected dad with cold and cough..

And since then dad's gone on a spree of medical check-ups.
And the best part is he (and also me) believe in taking second opinions.

YES! EVEN ON DIAGNOSIS!

Such is life.

And now dat means u also gotta collect the numerous
reports, x-ray scans etc etc. from these labs.

I head to the lab on ma bike, park, go in and casually ask
"Am here for Mr. ABC's X-ray report" and leaf out the receipt.

Woman at the desk: [Nods]
Me: [Waits]

'coz she's on the bleddy phone.

1..2..3..4..

I mean hello isnt she supposed to be answering me?
She's the friggin' receptionist here!

Woman at the desk: [Hands over a larger than A4 size X-ray in an envelope]

Me: [Relieved]

On the packet: "Mr. XYZ "

Now we all know XYZ is different from ABC. Aint we?

Me: Hello, this isnt the same as the name on da (friggin') receipt!

Woman on the desk: [Blushing]

No, I dint make her go pink..It was da guy mayb on da oder side of da fone.

Woman at the desk: [Grabs the large envelope from ma hand..
yes GRABS! Leafs thru and gives me the right one this time]

Me: Err..Would you have a polythene cover, you see the
thing is I cant carry this envelope since am driving and..

Woman at the desk: NOOOOOOOO!

Me: ..and I cant fold it! Thanks!

I really needed an envelope now. I come out of the lab
and I find maself asking at a medical shop counter.

"Do you think you would have a polythene bag to carry this?", pointing to the X-Ray

The middle aged guy (with dirty hands) nods his head sideways..

"Thanks!"

"Do you know a stationary shop nearby?"

This time the man shakes his head off..so long that
I thot his head would friggin' detach from his neck.

I take to ma heels..only to realise the bleddy medical shop
actually camouflaged a match box size stationery store RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!!

I mean is this guy insane? I just asked him if he knew a friggin' stationery?!
Could'nt he hav jus' friggin' opened his dirty mouth (am sure his mouth was dirty.damn.)
and gave me dat li'l piece of info?

I bumped into a small guy working in da store.

"Hey! I need a polythene bag for this", pointing at the envelope.

The li'l guy smiled and went in to search for one.

"Old one will also do", I shouted at his back.

Jus' when a woman in her mid-fourties gave me "wot da heck" look.

She apparently was the owner, parked in a dingy corner of da store.

"We got no polythene bag!!!"

"I thought the guy said you have.."

"No, we dont" she cut me bluntly.

"Umm, so wots dat there?", pointing to 3 polythene bags hanging from plastic hooks.

"I cant giv dat"

"I think it has waste paper in it."

"I cannot!!!"

"Yes you can. Now how abt if i buy this pen here?", I say pointing to a pen behind the glass panes.

"I WILL NOT giv you a polythene bag", she snaps

I bent over and looked at the li'l guy who had gone in..

She screamed her guts at the guy.
"Dont give her any bag!!!"

Hmmm.
I sumtimes wonder. Wot is with Indians and the lack of courtesy?
Arent we a civilized society? Or is this still the dark ages?

Oh in case your wondering how I carried the X-Ray home.
Well, it neatly fitted in the front dicky of ma bike :)
Go ahead, call me dumb! duhhh!

Abt a good samaritan, damp weather and view from a balcony

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After a whole day without work, bored of sitcoms and no mood to read..wot do u do?
SOS!

I strutted to the sit-out and perched on an old plastic chair, looked around.
Plain old watching the roads! Realised how much I missed out on this whole affair
of sitting in a balcony and reading people walking on da road.

The weather was damp from unexpected showers.

And no! I neva gotto smell the earth before the rains:(
'coz it was unexpected. Few clouds huddled together from nowhere
and made the air more humid.


2 pretty looking school girls in pajamas raced behind a dachshund.

A middle aged couple on their ritual evening walk

A delivery guy on a cycle delivering local magazines in da neighborhood

A security guy in da opposite mansion drinking chai

And a fallen tree on da road..

The cars drove past..making its way thru the fallen tree..

The two wheelers chugged along..they did not hafta make der way thru it..it was easy for dem..

Innumerable cycles wheeled across..

People walking past..deep in der muddled thots..


My eyes drooping and almost breaking into a late evening trance, when I see
a limping figure, should be atleast 80 years old, his head with a turban and coughing,
bending on the road and lifting the fallen branch of the tree..

He struggled a li'l but showed no signs of giving up..slow n steady pushing it to the side
As much as possible to the sides..

Then giving a long look at da tree..deciding its now a safe world for all, silently
retreated into the dark lanes..

"Did you c dat????", ma dad called from the side terrace overlooking the balcony.

"Yeah!!!!!!!!", i smiled.

"We need more people like him", concluded dad.

The weekend that never ended..

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yo!
bak wid all da vigour and energy.!:)
longest weekend mus' say! far from the madding crowd:)
[read workplace]

It all began on a very eventful day at work..

Friday:
After a hard day's work..man(ju) heads to movie;)
Believe me, i was prepared for a lousy movie..until..
surprise surprise..Jaaneman is a pretty decent fare.
Yessir! it is! Partly, I wasnt too keen on watching
three middle-aged people(read preity zitna, akshay
kumar, salman khan) romance..(that reely isnt ma idea of
a romantic flick..sigh..)
But oh umm, it was good timepass.!
Credits to A for taking me to this movie..:)

Saturday:
Festive fare!!! Diwali..the D-day:)
Kickstarted wid all da pooja, sweets, savouries..
At one moment i thot i wud die in da kitchen..grounded
for da rest of ma life..;)
But who wants to die in da kitchen anyway?? lol.
It was sweltering heat getting to ma nerves
when god showed mercy and waved his magic wand!
lo and behold...!!! cool showers all over good ol' lazy Hyd:)
Shortly after dat, the burst of crackers..in every lane
and in every corner...
And whom wud i ne kidding if i said "i burst a a few crackers.."
No sir no! There were like tons of dem..
I would arrange a set of three bombs and lite dem
up..one after oder..and bang, booom! made the loudest
noise;)!!
Only with a occasional giving in to mum..looking forward
to sum space to burn flower pots..(i hate flower pots!! they suck!)
I went ballistic until late nite..until ma limbs ached..
Its a special feeling:) trust me.!

Sunday:
Oh umm..thot it wud be jus' anoder lazy sunday.!
Again kitchen...this time i whipped the best dum biryani
ever;)!! It was finger-lickin' good.![Me modest;)]
And then i was sucked into da world of aft'noon siesta..
when in ma own goddam druken revelry, S calls up..

S: entraa..em peekthunaavu?? [wot u plucking? -->

literal meaning..hehehe]
Me: Hmmmmmmm...

S: huh?
Me: Hmmmmmmm...

T: hehehe, recognise me?
Me: Heloooo...Teeeeeeeeeeesu!!!!!

T: yeah..hahaha
Me: hows u??? how is u?????? hows u???
[I was repeating each word a goddam million times..wot

was i supposed to do..i was sound asleep..]

S: thaagochaava? [got drunk?]
Me: Yeah! yeeeeeeeeeah.!!

S: ila maatladlenu baaboi..! [cant talk to u like this]
Me: Teeeee...am drunk

S: nee...$^&#%*#%^*#%...paduko ra

babu..paduko..champuthunaavu
Me: huh? T's with u at infy now?? at ur workplace?

S: naaa..
Me: Then how can i hear him?? from ur number??
[I forgot theres sumthing called "conferencing"..lol.]

S: ehe! paduko [sleep..]
Me: nooooooo...tees nee kidnap cheskunaav nuvvu..
infy lo unaadu...ipudu..right??? right???
[u kidnapped tees..right?]

S: padukoooooo!!!
T: hahahaha...

*giggles*

M: Hmmmmmm...

S: naa vala kadu ra baboi..pettai fone..pettai
[helpless...hang da fone..hang it..!!]


Evening saw a rejuvenated me..figuring it out dat it was
a conference call..oh fcuk!!
Took a hike wid ma folks and off i went to da lake:)
Hearing the water lashing across..and da silent breeze
filled ma face:) i loved it.!:)

Monday:
Woke up to a bright Monday morning..
no Monday blues...no doldrums of any kind!
'coz it was a holiday!!!! yaay!!!!

I picked up this book long back..from a seconds book
sale.."The bridge across forever" -- Richard Bach
I sat down to read it..:)
It was one helluva senti thing.! Liked it:)
Abt perfect soulmate..blah blah..but good one.!
[Needs another post..i will make it a book review:)]

Few of ma frnds had landed up in Hyd:)
So was looking forward to spend some time wid dem..
A few fone calls here and der..until the whole plan was
called off..:(

I went shoe shopping after dat..For the record..I HATE
SHOE SHOPPING!!!
I made up for it by feasting on sum crispy pizzas at
pizza den:) yummmmmy!!
Headed bak home..ready to ravage da DVD shop.!
No sooner i entered..da DVD guy was jus then unsealing
"Khosla ka ghosla" CD
i almost jumped on his face..
"I want that!!!!!!!!!!!!! Giv it to me!!!"
hahaha.! it was gud one though:)
I love contemporary movies:) Appreciate that variety:)

Oh btw...I got ma ears pierced:)!!
It was traumatic to say da least..but i can handle da pain;) [modest again;)]
It was like a bee sting..painful..for one nasty moment..!
no make that two..two nasty moments..two piercings na..
Oh does dat mean am Manju Pierce? [Like Mary Pierce?]
bad joke..jeez!

And now...am waiting...in silence..to end da weekend..
or shud i say weekday?? lol.

Status: HAPPY..VERY HAPPY :)

Weekend!!!

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Well, its not absolutely necessary to have fun on weekends only..
But what's fun about weekends is you think you own it;)
You think you have worked your ass off
the whole week so you deserve a break..
You wanna pamper urself, have good food, sleep,
hangout and simply laze around.:)

There are lotsa things I wud wanna do..
But so short a life I think:(
I mean wot all wud u wanna do if u know
u wud die tommorrow?????
lol.
Not the brightest of ideas..it makes me sad when i think "death"
So lets' leave it at dat for now..'coz i dont wanna b sad:)

I caught up on 2 movies this week.
For a change both were gud in der respective genres:)

Dor (Nagesh Kukunoor's) --> 5/5

I cant stop talking abt it!!
I reely cant..i mean somebody stop me!!!
Ever since I have returned from the movie hall
I have been raving abt it to coupla friends
In fact i have bugged A to take me to the movie again:)
me happies abt it :)))))

I mean you surely cant come across a movie
thats so subtle when it comes to bringing out emotions..of all kinds..
a husband-wife relation, friendship between 2 strangers,
friendship between two diversely thinking individuals
To wot extent wud u go to care for ur loved ones??
Ironically, am happy after da movie:) [i mean its kinda heart-wrenching..]
K was almost in tears when the movie ended
I neva reely thought high abt Nagesh Kukunoor
but now I think admire him too much..wot a movie!!
It would be simply an understatement to tell the movie was
mind-blowing!!!:)) and so does the cast..:)

I mean there's this scene where Ayesha Takia is dancing to
"You are my soniya" number both pre and post her spouse's death
Its wot i call a strong direction sense. Kukunoor rocks!

Ok ok..its a must watch movie! Worth every buck i tell:)!

Pyaar ke Side Effects (Pritish Nandy's) --> 3/5

Rahul Bose in it..wot can u expect????:)
Very urbane and chic:) Its got these humor tones
to it...again subtle...not loud and not in ur face:)
A very yuppie cast!:) Impressive..
I mean Ranvir Shourey (Channel V vj) is reely gud too..
Mallika Sherawat for a change isnt putting on her
stoopid pout..she reely did carry off well as dis
Delhi girl who loves her boyfriend:)
I mean it was dis very casual movie..
Dontcha expect a lot from dis flick though..
These days if a movie doesnt leave u wid a heavy head
then its surely watchable:))
And pyaar ke...is one such.
Although I reckon it could be presented in a better way
as far as its second half goes.:)
Mayb dey were outta ideas..:( it seemed like it!

And also these days audience does appreciate movie's
dat arent fairy tales (Karan johar's sick man!!)
and are closer to everyday happenings:)
It strikes a chord wid da audience u know..

okkie..am already a li'l guilty abt pulling off a
long post!! But certainly, if you would wanna know da stories..
you can catch dem here

Dor:
http://www.rediff.com/movies/2006/sep/22dor.htm
[Oh! btw...how come imdb doesnt have "dor" in its listings????? how come???? and how dare..am peeved!]

Pyaar ke Side Effects:
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0480572/

ciao!:)


Karaoke

Yeh honsla kaise juke
Yeh aarzoo kaise ruke

Manzil mushkil to kya
Bundha sahil to kya
Tanha ye dil to kya

Ho hoooo...

[OST : Dor]

Shafaqat Ali Khan(playback singer of this song)...where were you till now??????

'Chicken'ing out

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Honestly, I prey on sea animals.
ewww! not a nice way to put it..sorry:(
I meant I love seafood more than any other non-veg dish.

But..like A says..vegetarians are often fond of chicken;)
lol..yes they are..and they swear by it.
And I don't blame them if they say it tastes like
paneer..A says its more like mealmaker (ugh!!)

So here's this quaint li'l restaurant that goes by name
'nanking' in the quaint li'l secunderabad:)

I mean you should take a look at it.
Its neva changed in the past 25 years:)
Well, one of the oldest, but definitely not the finest
as it used to be..

But then who cares about lack of plush interiors
or the pathetic service..if u gotta eat,u gotta eat!

I mean if its Chinese, its gotta be nanking baby!;)
Ok I now sound more like am marketing for it;)

So the deal is..there's a lot of strange things that
happen..I mean..u shouldn't mind u know..

Things that could appall you..

There's only a single guy who takes ur orders.
*sigh*

Your appetizers arrives after a good half hour
*sigh*

They would'nt be anyone around to serve you.
That's ok..but what would'nt be ok is this..

The same guy who takes the order will very unabashedly tell you
"We do not serve fries..you gotta adjust in here.."

hahaha!!!
Its only short of telling you "if you wana eat good chinese you better dont throw tantrums here;)"

You may have to wait @45 mins for a table:((

So u might ask wots da deal wid dis place..chuck it!?

Its da food...its so truly, madly, deeply YUM!:)
Its authentic chinese at its best.!

http://www.fullhyderabad.com/scripts/profiles.php3?section=Restaurants&name=Nanking

Okkie dokes..enuf of chicken run.

Am on a high;) (uh oh..am ain't doping. its that li'l bastard called "satisfaction")

Am satiated:)

Karaoke

Raat akeli hain
Bhooj gaye diye
aake mere paas
kaano mein mere

Jo bhi chaahe kahiyeeeeeh
Jo bhi chaahe kahiyeeeeeh

OST: Jewel Thief

aaah..the trip..

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Yeah..true..am reading ma own post (of ma old blog)

http://manjuvijay.blogspot.com/2005/08/that-trip-from-delhi-to-pilani.html

why u may say? jus' for da heck of it..

I know what u did last 6 months..

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[Warning: This post is a product of a sleepless nite. So read at your own risk]

Hmm..I have been masquerading ma feelings for a long time..
like for 6 months now..thats long long time!
Not that am gonna unleash them now on ma blog;)

But did you ever come across this feeling to do "something"?
To do something pathbreaking?
To chase your dreams and yet there's this unseen force stopping you?

[Ok i know this is getting kinda boring.But i do not intend to stop..am in a flow:)]

So that's the thing..
For the last 6 months I have indulged into this huge mass of thoughts..
voices in the head are multiplying @1 million per sec.

Ma productivity at work has gone from worse to worser to worsest
(Statistics and time has proved it)

I have been hugely impulsive of late.

I have been sleepless from i dunno when.

Is there a solution to ma wavering mind?

Am still thinking..:)

And am almost about to nail it..

Enough of anguish and discord in ma life!!
Lets make a new beginning..

If there's a will, there is a way.
yeah baby!! there is!!

The ultimate heaven is contentment and am gonna have it!:)

Its 9th Oct and reely a day to reckon:)

Karaoke

Manasavaacha - Godavari
Get it here:
http://www.musicindiaonline.com/p/x/7rp_-03hgt.As1NMvHdW/

Unni Krishnan rocksssss!!!

2 + 2 morons

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The thing with phool patta gobi (flowers and leaves) is dey rnt living u know..
i mean not living in dis big bad world..full of phonies and morons..

ok dont be very shocked..am not on a philosophical drive..
i mean u need a break from junk like dat.

hmm..so am not too keen to get bak home after i catch a flick wid A.
I wud rather mince words wid D i thot.
So, i gave her a call pronto..and der she was in her sweet ass voice on da fone..

D: Heloooooo
Me: duhh...wots wid da fake throaty voice..it doesnt
make u sexy..get outta da goddam home..we are gonna walk
the talk baby...walk the talk..

D: u psychotic bitch..u always spoil da fun for me.
Me: wots fun..? putting on dis fake voice? i loathe
phonies...and world is fulll of phonies..like u

D: okk okk..gimme sum time..to change into shorts..and
head to da junction..ok? freak!
Me: okkies dokes baby...okkie dokes..get sum dough..jus'
in case..over n out..

So we meet up...and then walk like a mile..
ogling of course on da way;)...apart from da junk talk..

D is talking excitedly abt her new..err..sumthing..i
don't remember..she's excited and thrilled to bits for
every goddam thing dats new...even if it happens to be
da new billboard in town! damn her..

So we waver from the new radio station in town..to da
bitch who ruined D's life by finding her love in D's love interest...
at dis point ma mouth's raging wid swear words...
tch tch...world is surely full of morons..

Then voila...like a thunderbolt from da heaven we decide
to head to dis hotshot restaurant we neva went to..

Me: "Lets go...giv it a shot...get drunk n all..;)"
D: "shut ur foul mouth for once, will ya? lets go gorge on food.."
Me:"Yeah..dat shud do baby..dat shud do.."

So its dis nice homely restaurant..pretty gud ambience
(as if i care for ambience, but anyway..)..and dey are
waiters in neatly tucked shirts and a jack..

o boy! me n D surely dig da clean shaven, trim dressed
men...and if dey r tanned we love dem and wanna wed dem too..;) lol!

We choose dis corner table so dat we can gloss over the
cricket match on LCD between Lanka and Bangladesh (in
case we run outta topics..but well dat happens seldom)

Me: So waddya want? There's lotsa dope in here [eyeing the menu card]
D: I want S bak...u shud look at dat moron..he's all eyes for P :(
Me: O damn get over it, will ya? lets get stuffed..food's
a great pain reliever u know?

D: yeah..lets!!

So we fed ourselves till we wud puke..but da whole
goddam floor was so shiny and clean we dint feel like;)

Dey were whole lot of kids at da place..to ruin da
ambience...li'l monsters. Families started pouring in...

Me n D had dis deep urge to go upto da first floor
bar...but then we were stuffed..too stuffed to even
imagine da steps upstairs..and then we knew a lot of
morons wud hang up der...so we dropped da idea anyway..

We did talk a lot of philosophical shit..
i mean if men get drunk and talk senti..we do da same
thing after eating good food;) a lot of good food.

So finally we got da hell outta here..
It was like 9 sumthing..it was a beautiful nite i thot for sum strange reason..

Me and D passed along..like two lady-like figures..
dats easy..dats reely reely easy..to act all lady-like..:)

and here's da scene dat happened

It so happened we jus' kept to ourselves, all silent and
walking..when...on a not-so deserted road..2 guys on a
bike..passed thru..shouting (and also waving) a "hiiiiiiiii"

Me:[silent]
D:[also silent]

And i broke da silence.

Me: Ignorance is bliss u know.
D: So whom do u think he said "hi" to?

Me: whaaaaaaaaaat? r u even in ur senses..
D: I mean i think he wanted to tell u hi..not me u know..

Me: Oh dont gimme dumb ass crap like dat..spare me..
D: I think da guy meant u..

Me: oooohh..aaah...am so hot..happie? now lets get da heck
outta here..ok?

I jus' abt finished foul-mouthing da pranksters when dey
swooped by again..

Bike guy: "laal baby..laal maal.." [and a wink after dat]

D: dammit! he means u...u r in red..!!!!
Me: u too..!!

D: no, i aint...dis is maroon for godssakes! r u color blind??? goddamit.
Me: Oh shuddup will ya..even am in maroon...its dat bike
guy whos color blind..not us..

D: ya two girls in maroon...marooned on dis road..hehehe

Me: oh shudddup! wisecracks n u...were u born wid dem?
D: So let's ask dem whom dey meant..ok?

Me: wtf..am not asking dos morons..nothing..u get it
D: no am serious..i wana know..lets' c..

At dis point D turns 180 degrees..and watching incessantly over da neon lights..

Me: [walking ahead] u r sick..sicckkkk..
D: [standstill]

Me: r u coming or not???
D: [doesnt even respond..some 5 mins pass and she gives up]

Me: u r sick! dats wot u r...sick sick sick! u retarded thing..
D: Do u think dey wud be here same time tommorrow? u think?

Me: Shudduppp!!
D: Hmm i think i kinda like him already..

Me: whom? da one whos' riding..or da pillion?
D: lets make a deal...u keep da rider and me da pillion..

Me: aha..! ever so generous u...da pillion was a lot cuter..
D: seeee...so u actually were eyeing dem..

Me: he was kinda eye-candy u know..i jus' glanced..i swear..
D: who's talking..now enuf lets get home..i wana catch T online..

Me: ooooooh..
D: shuddup...he's jus a friend

Me: ooooooh..

D screaming "shudddduppp" over da dark we headed bak home;)

Karaoke:

http://www.eurotrip-themovie.com/karaoke/index1.html

Scotty doesnt know - Euro Trip

Work as it seems..

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So u love ur job?
U think ur work jus' cant better?
Are u the best employee of the year?;)

unless...you are a wannabe..

Fresher (new kids on da block)
This kind is the epitome of enthusiasm, zeal..all dat;)
They move around *starry* eyed..
They scribble on the work board "work..work..dont waste time"
They love der desk, dey love der fone, dey love
der paycheck (no matter wot dey get paid), dey love der desktop
and dey love to impress the fourth kind (read boss)
And this is the bouncer.."They loooooooooooove work!!"
They cant help calling up friends/family and tell all da above.:)
They are glad to do wot i call "dawg work" and are proud of it too!!

*trumpets*

Middle-of-the-road (the majority)
This kind doesnt reely think too much about dropping in
late to work.."why should i?", dey think...
Dey spend hours on gtalk,yahoo,orkut..send good morning mails..
and if dey feel like it..maybe gloss over da work..later..
Dey have mastered da art of procrastination;)
"Life's a routine..I slept da whole weekend..I went to a
late nite show..Food sucks in here..meeting was a pain.."

If you heard urself say any of da above..then you belong here;)

*trumpets*

WMAO (work ma ass off)
Very often found mushrooming in and around fellow workaholics..;)
dey lurk around da workplace at odd hours of da day
dey are dressed to kill (pun intended:))
dey are what i call "anti-social elements" (not in da true sense of da word;))
anti to social life(oh have dey got one?)


*trumpets*

Boss (need i say anything?)
errr...
Oh a lucky few(haha!) would get married bosses.(newly
married ones..mind u!) but then they get back to da grind..nd
then boss is a boss!! *Beep*

Hmm..all said..lets hear some of ma frnds now..

T says "There's no such thing as job satisfaction.Its an illusion"

S blurts "Yassynments(followed by a double frown)"
[*yassynments = assignments]

A says "tp (followed by a smiley)" on asking wot he's doing?
[*tp = timepass]

AP says "pehle kaam karna padtha tha, ab kaam karvaana padtha hain"
[Before we had to do work..now its to make others do..]

S says "life's a bitch hune..gets fcuked up again and again"

J says "Enougghhhhhhhh"

K says "podhum paa saaaaaaami, pesaame kalyaano katikitu
pursheneku samachi podulaam"
[Enough of it God, wanna jus' get married and cook for ma
husband:)]

Anonymous says "Hullo..sai tiffins? single plate idli,
single plate vada..extension # XXXX"

Karaoke

Hum, rahen ya na rahen kal
Kal yaad aayenge ke ye pal
Pal, ye hain pyar ke pal
Chal, aa mere sang chal
Chal, soche kya
Chhoti si, hai zindagi
Kal, mil jaaye to hogi khush-naseebi

Hum rahen ya na rahen yaad aayenge ye pal

[Pyaar ke Pal - KK]