A walk with a friend

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..is amazing!

I met this friend of mine today at Boston. She came down to see her bro and we thought, well, lets catch up.

We walked all the way to Charles River and then caught some ice cream at JP Licks. If you are ever at Boston or Cambridge and you are this ice cream person or just want to try an ice cream, you totally totally have to try this one out! Their menu is amazing! Of course, take a small portion. Be kind to your body:) I tried the coconut almond chip (I didn't know tender coconut strips go so well with ice cream!)
LOL.

Anyway, so she said how she finds me funny. I said "Hmm, why?"

And she goes...its your "delivery". I said "what?"

So well, I sort of discovered that I am funny and I crack people up.
LOL. Maybe so, because the things I told her about were sort of funny, if not hilarious.

Like she had bruises on her knew, toes and elbows. And here goes the conversation.

Adri: So I fell over this pavement sort of thing..
Me: Yeah I was wondering...what the heck you been doing?

Adri: Ya, see I have a mark here. Do you have any mark, like from birth Manju?
Me: Hmm, well ya. Not birth.

(And I point to two spots on my limbs)

Me: Funny story
Adri: LOL. Tell me.

Me: My dad had a moped sort of a thing, you know. Back in the 80's in India, pretty usual to see them on roads. They have open engines and wheels like the motor bikes.
I once kept ma hand on the engine to see how "heat" feels like.
Adri (cracked up by now): Whatttttttttt?

Me: Yeah, and my mom asks why did you do that when you know its hot. I said "But well I didn't know how much of hot is hot."

Adri: LOL

Me: And this one on my ankle..I kept my feet into the wheel when my dad was driving.
And then screamed because the skin was peeling off. The sort where you put a pencil in a sharpener...

Adri: Nooooooooooooo

Me: Yep. 'coz I wanted to know what it "feels" like putting your leg into a moving wheel. Felt hard.lol.

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Adri: Hey I called you last night and you picked up and spoke nothing..
Me: Ya I do that. When my phone rings in the night, while I am sleeping, I usually think its the alarm and switch it off.
Adri (totally cracked up on this) : LOL

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Adri: How many kids you wana have?
Me(instantly): 3
Adri: That was too quick. So you thought abt it?
Me: Yep.
Adri: What gender?
Me: 2 girls one guy
Adri: Guy older or younger
Me: Older
Adri: So first one is a guy?
Me: Yep

(I think anyone who would have heard us behind the lawns where we sat down, would have thought we were two young expecting mommies for sure.)

Adri: Girls huh...what will happen of them?
Me: What you mean?
Adri: I mean they wont be girl like...you are not the girl kind. So who is gona take care of them
Me: A
Adri: aah!
Me: Yep;)

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Adri: So there was this silly Asian girl who went to school with my bro.
Me: Ok.

Adri: And she like runs all the time...loves running
Me: hmm

Adri: And she runs at odd hours...She came down here (charles river walk) one night at 3 am to run and didnt return
Me: Wot!

Adri: So ya, my bro and friends worried and went down to search for her. They find her sleeping on a bench.
Me: Gosh, what a freak..

Adri: Listen up, she said she felt tired with all the running so found a spot on a bench and slept.
Me (Sarcastically): How cool is that :p
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Evening well spent. I wish I took pictures though, of us since I don't meet Adrienne so often. Damn, I should get an iphone! :)

The good, the bad and the ego..

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Yeah,that's right. Every time I fight with dad, I fight with A..(yeah, thats right only two people have been favorited so far for fights;)) a huge part of that fight is my big, bloated three letter evil companion called EGO.

Sample trails -

Me: Hey
Dad: Hello, how is everything

Me: Nice. For you?
Dad: I sprained my leg recently.

Me: Whaaaaaaaaaat?
Dad: Fell off a ladder.

Me: Great. Why not jump off a cliff?
Dad: (silence)

Me: No really, try that. Ladders are not enough for you anymore, are they?
Dad: So when are you coming here?

Me: So what now, are you your own doctor or have you even bothered to go find one?
Dad: It will be alright.

Me: Don't expect me or mom to take care of you
Dad: (silence)

Me: Nobody ever listens to me..

blah blah blah..FIGHT Manju FIGHT says my ego.

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A: Heyyy wassup?
Me: What? (Apparently, someone showed me their ego so I am showing mine to A. Dumb ego!)

A: I just ate dosa..hehe
Me: So?

A: Its your favorite na..
Me: OK

A: You know that guy XYZ is getting married to that girl we know..blah blah
Me: Yeah woteva.

A: Did you call home?
Me: Why?

A: To talk :p
Me: Nope

A: Hmm, so what are you doing?
Me: Why do you care?

blah blah blah...fight.

FIGHT Manju FIGHT!

PS:

My dear Ego,

Get the hell out of me, take a vacation. Get lost in the Atlantic while coming back.

Hate you,
Manju

Greetings..

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..are what we learn when we are kids and unlearn when we grow into adults.

(although, you can be assured that I am again getting into one of my "complaining" mode I really am itching to write this down)

How many people wake up in the morning and say "Good morning" to your roommates or whoever it is that you see first? I mean, whats wrong with the greeting? It doesn't cost you anything, does it? It is ridiculous how people don't smile back at you or are too darn involved in their tensions everyday.

Even something as small as not being able to place your room keys in the morning frustrates you and you storm out of the door in a bad mood. You go walking on the way and don't care to smile at people you meet on the way. Agreed, it really creeps people out if you smile too much (Smiling at strangers is too dangerous in this damned world, so don't try that.) But would you care to greet at least the people you know or have met before..?

I am no judge. I am victim to such things myself. Because honestly there are several trivial things that get me upset. I end up yelling at A and throwing mood tantrums at him and feel guilty later. It all boils down to these things.

- Let go of small things. They hurt you more if you don't let go

- Always always smile and greet people. It doesn't cost you much. And please don't stare at people who wish you, like they just stabbed you..return that smile for god's sakes!

- Try to be as honest as possible to people. Honesty and integrity are two things that make your character. We all lie, but we should not lie at least to those whom you care about.

- If you are in a bad mood, talk talk talk..talk to someone who understands you well. Carrying it over till end of the day is the worst thing you can do. It hurts you and everyone around :(

Do whatever, but don't forget that smile in your life. Keeps everyone happy:)

Reality TV

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Ok, what the heck has gone into MTV.

I remember the days when I used to come back from school and watch
MTV Most Wanted. There was something called "quality" to the shows they aired.
And now its all about bickering and swearing on national TV which they
call candidly as "Reality TV"

The most shocking thing - get a bunch of young (really young) teen girls
on a show they call "Teen Diva" and make them to bitch. And more shocking thing - wear revealing clothes for that age. They are kids for gods sakes. Leave the innocence for that age, alone..

Ughhhh!

Learning...

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...to speak and write Korean :)

There hasn't really been any motivation for this one. Just want to break the rut I am in. So today was the first class. We learnt the unintentionally funny vowels and consonants of the language. I turned up late for my first class and all (lost my way through the city :p)

The instructor was cool and patient though. We did a recitation exercise..
It is funny how a vowel which looks like the letter 'T' can change orientations and result in a totally different vowel. So the clever instructor got placards that she kept turning right, left, up and down with another consonant and voila.! a whole new Korean sound! Fun!

So now I can say..

an-nyeng-[h]a-se-yo? Manju im-ni-da. man-na-sow pang-gap-sim-ni-da

[Hello. I am Manju. Nice to meet you]

And I can actually write that in Korean by putting together the vowels and consonants :) Funner!

an-nyeng-[h]i ge-se-yo

[Goodbye]

Sticky Note

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Since January this year, I have been doing absolutely nothing that is remotely engaging, fruitful, exciting, practical, satisfying or fulfilling. It has been a tough and a slow year so far. Misfortunes galore.

But then I stop and think - "How did I manage all those XYZ problems in the past? That was surely tougher than this one I am facing right now" and that puts me at peace:)

Bureaucracy

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When I first came to United States, I came with a hope (like many other Indians) that things will be "easy" here. By things I mean, the routine stuff we all middle income families do in India. Apply for loans, pay bills, file tax returns and such other things that the infamously rich and powerful, so called politicians and high-level officials of India do not do.

Over the past two weeks, I had to go through the same kind of bureaucracy that is so often experienced in India. And before some Indian out there gets pseudo patriotic and wants to disagree here, all I can say is "Please shut your gob". We all know what a curse it is to be a comman man in India and the nightmares of getting things done.

Cutting it all short, I was shocked at the total indifference and callousness of people at my university with regards to my immigration paperwork. For the first time in the States, I felt like a loner and an alien. It is shocking to see, irrespective of boundaries or your nationality (no, I am not playing the racism card here), people just choose to be indifferent and have no empathy whatsoever. It is very disappointing to see this happen in USA. Having said that, I am not going to generalize this to all of the people who live here (immigrants included). I personally met some great individuals here who have been very kind to me. But I never once realized that I, of all the people, will be mistreated and manhandled by the system here.

I am fed up of bureaucracy at every place on earth now. Why are people indifferent when it comes to doing their job? Why cannot people empathise or even speak kind words during times of distress, even if they know they cannot help? Why are people given authority? Isn't the sole purpose of being in an authorized position, is to help people who come to you with hopes that they will be served?

Although, I cannot divulge the sensitive information attached to this whole topic of discussion I will some day share the incident, hopefully. I am not very sure if I want to stay in the States for the rest of my life. I am utterly disappointed and have lost the respect and trust that I had in the system here.

Of lost friends..

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Over the years it has been a very difficult thing for me - maintaining friendships

It is crazy how I am most close only to A till date. I do not think I have shared everything with any person (not even my dad) except A.

I tried hard. To make such friends. I do think my friends are flawed. Who isn't?
But the trust, integrity and the dependability that is the core of what friends are made of are missing. May be I have over expectations.

Of course having said that, I do not believe I am the perfect friend. So it is best not to expect from others says A. :) If only I was so calm and composed as A. LOL.

But often I think what went wrong with friends.

All those crazy fights over money, jealousy with grades (yeah! unbelievably true), and other things minor like may be hygienic habits etc. Although I think the biggest factor for destroying friendship is almost always "bitching behind the back" or "pulling out when your help is needed"

I have noticed how people very conveniently pull back when you need their help with excuses so brilliant, that it just gets you too upset. It is so hard not to expect that from friends, because they are the ones whom you count upon.

Of course, I have had two very nice friends, whom surprisingly I only chat with and are my seniors from college who help me with anything I want in a second's time. Then there is K, she is a darling. Of course she nearly bummed me out last Fall threatening to stop talking to me for reasons that is so typical of me. I do not express my feelings to people I am close with. Which, again got me very upset, because if you are my friend, I accept your nature. Even if you are the meanest bitch on the earth, but you stand by me when I need you, you still are my best friend.

I would rather cherish the few people I believe in than dig deep into my heart about people who claim to be my friends and are clearly NOT in times of need. There is no point in being upset about such people. I let my heart free today:)

Swine flu

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Yes, that is the most predictable blog title of the day.

It is amazing how everyone I know chooses to ping me today morning
when I am in the midst of a phone interview!!!!

And just when you are wondering, why the heck would I simply not sign out
of the chat then, to all you clever people I want to tell I was also required to be
on IM for possibly using it as a means to look up detailed questions during the interview. So there!

Me: (Busy on chat)
A: Yo

Me: (Still silent)
A: Back

Me: (Oh God..Still silent)
A: You there?

Me: (Ok this has to stop) I am on phone
Dad: Hey you should go out buy a mask

Me: (What? Still silent)
Dad: Hello?

Me: I am on phone
A: Who on phone?

Me: Job interview
A: Oh ok ok..TYT (take your time)

Dad: A guy from TX got the flu to Hyderabad. Have you got a mask or not?
Me: I am in a job interview. Brb.

XYZ: blah blah blah. Ooops, sorry wrong window :D

Me: Oh my goddddddddddddd!!!!!! x-(

At this point I was even contemplating to request my interviewer if I can go Invisible x-( Gosh!

Thankfully all the pings stopped for some time.

I should have put on a "I am in an interview" status. But decided against it. That would certainly lead to many other type of pings. Probably "Which company?", "When?", "What role?" or even a "Congrats". Who knows..

PS: No offense Dad and A :)

Inspiration.com

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As I was walking to class this morning (ok, not morning, noon rather:))
this thought occurred to me.

Why do we look for inspiration in others when we can get inspired from people
we know up close?

I bet several of you look towards Warren Buffet, Lakshmi Mittal or whoever it is that you thought was your role model. (Which goes to say I look at them as mine. Haha. Truth always comes out first;))

But heck, why not our own parents, siblings or friends?

Oh, let me see, that's coz their successes aren't glamorous enough? x-(

I thought my parents did phenomenally well (inspite of being terribly broke twice), going through personal tragedies and yet did not let that affect their kids. They always made sure they sent us to the right schools, gave us best of food and shelter while soaking up their miseries. I am not sure if that is not inspiring to me, then what is?

Leadership Workshop

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We finally had the AWICS workshop

Whoop!!!

So we talked about what, how and why of leadership.
To sum it up, a true leader is one who can make a leader out of others:)

Initially when I made up my mind to lead the workshop coordination, I thought there wouldn't be too much of work to do. Heck no, I was wrong!

Invites, appointments, conference room bookings, food, flyers, parking arrangements..phew!

But thankfully, my fellow officers were so cool about helping me out put together the stuff. And the panelists..they were uber cool! And the food was yum :)
Look up these guys: Jason's Deli, if you want to order food for a club meeting, workshop or simply any event. They had some real delicious pasta menu.

All in all the workshop was a smoothie..although just when I was hoping for a perfect end, the weather got rotten :(

Oh the rains..I don't like them, specially when you are out of milk to make a cup of hot coffee at home :)

Subway

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It's amazing how much you can get done if you are away from the Internet for an hour.
Really! LOL.

And then pumped with the happiness of using that one goddamn hour productively, you spend the next two hours on Internet to treat yourself. Sweet!

Today I was at Subway on the University Drive. As soon as I walked in, there she was..

Ok, a little background in one sentence: There is this stupid b**** who will not give you that extra scoop of tuna on your bread.

So I hate her! Period

As usual she takes the turn to serve me. Damn.

She cuts the bread not into half but like 1/4 < x <<<< 1/2 where x is the size of the bread all the bleddy time she serves me. Then she has the nerve this time to even remove the tuna out of the bread. To which I put on a face of disgust. And she clearly didn't like the expression. So she goes ahead and picks only 2 strings of bell pepper when I specifically ask for "Lots of bell peppers"

And then she has this hearing problem or pretends she is deaf or dont know what her goddamn problem is, she will always ask me twice what I am asking for.

Me: Lettuce
She: What?
Me: Lettuce

Me: Spinach
She: What?
Me: Spinach

Ufff..I so goddamn hate her.

And then I was trying to read "Computational Learning Theory" sitting there in the smallest of subway outlets I have ever been. Obviously, I wasnt doing a great job of reading and understanding, since I was singing "Uh-huh, Life's like this..Why do you have to go and make things so complicated?" (Avril's Complicated) with the FM playing it and the Chinese almost beside me gave me an angry stare.

Dude, relax I am studying Computational Learning Theory and all you are doing is eating a footlong bread stuffed with meat. So cut me some slack! x-(

Oh whatever, I solemnly swore that next time I will loiter in the aisle until I see she is busy with another customer and then I go stand in line. I am paying goddamn 4.06$, it better be worth that shit.

Middle of year resolutions

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I am not sure why I am reading this link right now.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crossover_(genetic_algorithm)

Really I pitied my readers so I pasted the whole link above,
so they wouldn't care to open it once they read the hyperlink text. LOL.

It is one of those crazy end of semester weeks now. When there is a ton to do,
but you are watching a sucky reality show :)

Here is a mental list of things to do after semester ends:

- Resume job search
- Spend more time at the REC
- Do some cool ass stuff at Anita Borg
- Take a short trip to India or wherever the heck I am allowed to (thanks to immigrant restrictions x-( )

Ya, so that's a handful of stuff. I am already dreaming about what all I can do with my tax refund money. Haha.

And now I need to resume reading that "oh-so-exciting" wiki.

Here and there

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and everywhere..that's what my last month has been.

Several unsuccessful attempts at my job search. Messing up my courses this semester.
And traveling with this suitcase which is always packed with clothes and essentials, ready to take off. LOL.

Anyway, so I am still "jobless" although I keep telling my parents and my boyfriend
"Oh there is so much to do, I am so tense. Btw did you see XYZ's wedding pictures? Cool na?"

So much for being "tense", sigh!

Like yesterday, I was so determined to sit down and work on this presentation (which btw is in less than 12 hours from now and yet I am only 3 slides done). And the presentation is ahem, in the presence of Bjarne Stroustrup, so you get the point now?

And then bang, I saw an old friend online. I just thought "No harm pinging and knowing how she is doing right?". I knew I was lying to myself.

We sat for hours and talked about stuff here and there and "critiquing" (haha, that has become my favorite word from when I started taking C++ classes) desi population abroad.

Me: I can't believe they still cry their ass off for grades and marks at grad school.
A: Sheeesh!

Me: And this idiot from our class, remember XYZ? She was down in NY and I called her to catch up. She just wont pick my calls! What an attitude!
A: Ya I know..such a shame

Me: (topic goes to marriages) I don't get it why do people marry? Peer pressure?
A: Hahaha, yes.

Me: Like all these cast issues..
A: cast huh..

Me: Oh I mean caste..bleddy C++. LOL
A: LOL

Me: So how are the desis at your place. (A lives in Spain)
A: Yeah, the same "take photos, upload on orkut/facebook" culture. What do you expect?

Me: Ufff...

Hmm would love to write it all here. But I am sure we bitched so much, that a whole lot of it is censored :)

And now slide # 4 please..
Countdown: 11 hours to go

Just another day

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She did not remember when it had all started..Was it when she got married?
Or was it when Sona was born? The early morning wind chilled her cheeks as she stood
staring at the hibiscus rows on her backyard..

As a young girl, she liked a lot to paint. Mixing oils, experimenting on canvases,
brush strokes and water colors creating a mosaic of patterns on her apron..
Why couldn't she enjoy that kind of recreation any more?

Ram had been a loving husband when they married. Then Sona, their little daughter, happened. Her bright eyes and long hair so reminiscent of her look. It was like looking at her own reflection, only young. Ram and her had a plan, for Sona. She would go to Crescent (it was the best convent in town) for her schooling..

Every morning, she made breakfast for Sona and Ram. Although Ram hardly had the time for breakfast. As a consultant, it was hard to keep tab of his diet. He was mostly out of home, traveling. As for Sona, she had to wake up and go to Ballet class and then catch the bus to school. Evening she took coaching for the IIT exam..

Rest of the day was spent in taking care of chores. Cleaning Sona's room, cooking, doing laundry and dishes, sorting bills, shopping for grocery and stocking the kitchen and..then Sona would come home, drink milk with honey and do her homeworks and sleep early..

Soon the exam results arrived. Sure enough, Sona made it to the top IIT school. She packed to her hostel both sad and excited about her life..Meanwhile, Ram was now a Principal consultant which meant he traveled more often now.

She spent most of her time, doing the regular chores. Hardly any interaction with the neighbors or friends for many years, immersed in domestic life that zapped the energy and zeal that she had for anything else. She missed her husband and daughter, both oblivious to her lonesome life. She often moved either because Ram said it was better for him to move to Mumbai, to be in the heart of things..or Sona would really do well if they moved to XYZ school, they have the best resources for Sona's bright future.

Sona, was now a Software Architect at a multinational and lived by herself in Delhi. Ram was working hard to become the Director of his company and had plans to start his own consulting firm..

She stared at the match stick box, concealed in her palm now. It was too cold to unwrap her robe..it had already been an hour since she drenched herself with a can of kerosene and then covered herself with a robe as she walked to the backyard of her house. Summoning up courage, she watched her numb fingers push the match box open.

"Isn't it too cold outside Miss Kelkar? I see that you really love nature..", shouted her neighbor from her backyard, as she stood near the hibiscus rows.

That night Sona and Ram came home, a long forced vacation from work, they said. When they arrived, they found her cooking pots of steaming hot biriyani and chicken curry, Sona and Ram's favorite.

It wasn't Sona or Ram but her neighbor Miss Dixit who interrupted her fateful day..As for Sona and Ram, it was just another day.

It is funny how..

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..this video almost made me cry.



Not that I care about Anjali, the kid (how heartless can I be?:)), it brought back too many memories, all those happy moments that will never come back and my heart felt heavy..

Best parents I have got

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..because they never defended me and let me face consequences of my own actions.
I thought it was rotten on their part to let me go thru shit. I know today they wanted me to 'experience' it all. Experience makes you stronger.

..because we fight more than we talk. I thought it was rotten on their part to never as much as talk nicely to me. I know today that they only wanted the best for me, so they wouldn't give in to my demands.

..because they would simply not care what I was upto, what I was doing and whether I was doing well, whatever it is I was doing. I thought it was rotten on their part to never be as much as even be 'concerned' about their daughter's well-being. I know today that they did care, but only wanted to give me an opportunity to develop my maturity to handle things.

..because I constantly complained that they didn't love me, didn't even once express
their love to me. I thought it was rotten on their part never to show love. I know
today that they did love, only they wished I understand their unspoken love.

..because they were constantly disappointed in me, no matter what I did. I thought
that was the most rotten thing to happen to me. I cried silently at times thinking it over, only now I know they were always proud of me, but wanted me to be more ambitious and never complacent with my achievements.

..because they were depressed about the "good" upbringing they gave to the other kid
and yet he turned to be "not so good". I thought why should I face someone else's
wrong doings, why am I to be blamed? It was rotten on their part..but I know today
they were too scared to repeat the same "good" upbringing in my case.

Getting born into this world and given a shelter, fed and protected..
How many of us are selfless enough to do that?

Do you have a pink chaddi to spare?

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http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com

Yeah, so a pack of "cultured" men will now dictate how the women in India should behave. Their culture says that women should not hang out in pubs and so they have taken it upon themselves to "culture" the women.

And the way to culture women...BEATING THEM UP.

It is ridiculous that in a republic India, we still allow a bunch of hooligans
to openly beat women in public.

Which culture or religion says that beating women is a civilized act?

Are they blind to issues like eve-teasing, molestation and assault of women in India?

Why wear shirt, a trouser or a suit, if anything "western culture" is a taint to Indian society? Go wear khadi..

It is sad to see that democracy in India has been reduced to vote bank politics.
Not one political party outrightly condemned it. Oh ya, why would they..they need the conservative vote. Urban women are intelligent and aware and they wouldn't vote for them anyway. So why bother?

Well, I never celebrated Valentine's Day till date. This Feb 14th, I am going to raise a toast to Ram Sena - "May you guys rot in hell"

Ice Cream

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Recently I got to participate in a blood drive. I know I was doing a noble cause, donating blood and all..

Ok, so I also know, there was a little selfish interest involved. *Grin*

The Austin blood drive basically ran a campaign like "Give a Pint, Take a Pint" (of Amy's ice cream :))

So naturally, I was excited.

I in fact binged on an extra breakfast taco Friday morning, because I was being sent
reminder mails that I should eat "well" :) So, this was comfortably one of the rare times, where you have a genuine excuse to give for overeating. I mean I could actually faint man, if I didn't overeat. Haha!

Anyway, I enter this bus parked by my office parking lot.

I stride in, grinning ear to ear..

Me: "Hey guys, is this where I need to give blood?"
Doc 1: "Yep, can you please sign up on that sheet there?"

Me: "Yes!" (Sure dude, do you have my ice cream ready? LOL)

Co-worker 1: "Did you eat? Coz you can faint sometimes.."
Me: "You kidding me, I ate tons! I could maybe give them one more pint. So full!"

Co-worker 2 (Didn't meet before, he was an Indian): "Hi, is this your first time?"
Me: "Yes! I never donated blood back in India. My parents would never let me..they were paranoid about the whole needle-AIDS connection, you know.."

Co-worker 2: (Nods his head in agreement)
Me: "Hey I didn't see you around before. You with the hardware guys?"

(Some more small talk)

Co-worker 1 to me (Striding out of the "consultation" room): "Dude, your next.."

Doc 2: "Are you Manju Vijayakumar?"
Me (smiling even more. This guy was Indian and so he got my name absolutely right!) : YES, that's me!

Doc 2 (polite smile): "Come on in!"

Me (tapping my fingers on the table. I was not sure why I was so excited! No clue why. But this was going to change soon..): "Whoa! Is that a long form or what?", pointing at the long questionnaire sheet.

Doc 2: "Yes, did you read the information sheet outside?"

Me: "Oh that AIDS thing?"

Doc 2: "Yes. That along with some other information"

Me: "Yeah! Isn't it crazy that people come to donate blood to test if they have HIV? So crazy!"

Doc 2: "Yes. A lot of them do that..Ok, Manju I might have to ask a lot of uncomfortable questions. It is just a part of the procedure. Are you ready?"

Me: "Sure!" (Anything for the ice cream dude. LOL)

Doc 2: "So tell me Manju..Did you have sex with more than one partner often?"

Me: No

Doc 2: "Did you have sex for money? If that question confuses you, it means did you have sex with a prostitute?"

Me: (Uhhh! Money huh..) No

Doc 2: "Did you have sex with a male who had sex with another male before having sex with you?"

Me: (Wot da...) No

Doc 2: Blah blah blah..."Were you pregnant in the last 6 months?"

Me: (Now I started getting used to telling No in a rhythmic tone..) Noooo

Doc 2: "Are you...

Me: No!

Doc 2: "I am sorry I did not finish the question"

Me: "Oh! Sorry.."

Doc 2: "Are you pregnant now?"

Me: (Hmm, how thoughtful of you to ask me.) NO!

Doc 2: "Do you have a fever now?"
Me: (Finally you ask sane questions, huh?): No

Doc 2: "Are you on any kind of drug now?"

Me: (Dude, I can eat an ice cream and still know I am eating an ice cream. That is how mentally stable I am right now!) NO

Doc 2: "Do you take heroin, crack, marijuana...blah blah"

Me: NO, NO, NO!

Doc 2 (Looking at me apologetically): Err..ok, Now I need you to take a look at this list and tell me what medicines from these have you been taking in the past 6 months

Me: "I don't need to look Doc. I never visited a drug store in the States since my last 1.5 years here"

Doc 2 (almost pleading): "Could you please? I need to conduct the procedure, end to end.

Me: (reluctantly..) Ok.

Doc 2: "I have few more questions to ask"

Me (sure, I am loving it x-(): Ok

Doc 2: "Do you belong to India?"

Me (WTF, doesn't he know am from India. I mean, he is Indian too..): Yes, of course

Doc 2: "How long back did you enter the States?"

Me: You are Indian right?

Doc 2: Err..yes, how long back did you enter the States?

Me: 1.5 years

Doc 2: So you were in India before that

Me (Yes, Genius!): Yeah

Doc 2 (Scrolls something across the form): "Sorry you are barred from donating blood anywhere in the States til Oct 2010. You hail from a country on the list of malaria infested nations."

Me (WTF!!!!!!!!!!!! Wot the f!!!!!): Whattttttt????????????

Doc 2: "..And this will go into our database so you cannot donate blood during the probation period. Also if you go back to India, anytime in the future, you cannot donate 1 year after your return from India"

Me: "Thanks for making sure! That is so relieving to hear. Is there anything else?"

Doc 2: "I am sorry. It is just a rule here. You can donate in India though."

Me: "Thanks. I thought I had to take your permission for that."

Doc 2: (Frowns)

Me: "Anyway, thanks had a GREAT time" (Boy! Was I oozing of sarcasm)

Doc 2: (Trying to make the mood lighter) "Hey are you from A&M?"

Me: "Don't get me started. If you are from UT, yes, I am an Aggie and proud to be one. I love Maroon more than Orange, if you must know." (totally miffed and pulling up a face)

(Texas A&M and UT Austin are two rival universities)

Doc 2 (smiling hard): "No, I am not form UT. I am coming to A&M for studying."

Me (rolling my eyes): "Really?!!"

Doc 2: "Yes. I heard it is great there."

Me: "Well...it is a small college town. It is warm and friendly. You would like it there. Heck, anyone would like it there."

Doc 2: "Cool, then we should keep in touch."

Me: "Ya well..yes."

Doc 2: "Hope to meet you there then!"

Me: "Sure"

Doc 2: "Sorry about today."

Me: "Ya, well I ate tons now, I need to find some other way to shirk all those carbs:)"

Doc 2 (Nodding and smiling)

Me (Strides out of the bus..enters my office break room and tells to my co-worker):
"Bitches, they wouldn't let me donate blood.."

Co-worker 1: "Try next time!"

Me: "Ya, remind me to sue them the next time..I will hold them against mental torture, sleazy questions..."

Co-worker 1: "Btw, there is ice cream if you want to have one:)"

Oh ya..I totally forgot about the ice cream in the process. Didn't I?

Face your fears

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This was a long time back.

I was a kid and I was very excited to travel in the local buses to school
(Don't ask me why, I am pretty retarded to choose crowded buses over comfy auto rickshaws)

Anyway, so I used to change 2-3 buses to go to school each day.

I was a kiddo then. Probably a 10 yr old.

I remember one day a partially crowded bus came by and I was running late.
So I swiftly stepped in and the bus driver yelled "Stopppppppppp!"

I said "What? What happened?"

Generally in the local buses, someone asks you to stop so hard only if you
were stepping into someone's puke in the bus. LOL. Anyway, what happened later
was tearful..

The bus driver started cursing me and must have used swear words @ 10/min
Like he called me a "whore's child" and what not. Some of them beyond my comprehension. He basically didn't want me to step in and add to the crowd in the bus.

Tears started rolling down my cheeks. And I stepped down.
That day I got late to school. But that was not the point. I was so terribly upset about those swear words, that I, frankly didn't even understand at that point of time. And yet it affected me so badly.

During dinner I ate very little. My dad knew something was wrong. So after a lot of "tell me what happened" lines,I told my dad,
"I am never going to go in that bus. I can't", and I cried
like a baby. Mom tells me till date that she never saw me so upset, like I was that day.

Dad: "What? What the heck happened? I thought you loved buses?"
Me: "Ya. I can't tell. The driver was so rude. I am scared to step into a bus and find him as the driver now..."

(Bus drivers worked on a rotation basis. So I could easily bump into him if I took some other bus too)

Dad: "Really! You telling me your scared because of the son of a b****?"
Me: Ummm...
Mom: [Jaw dropped. She usually doesn't get 90% of the curses we utter]

Dad: "You make me sick. Are you telling me instead of fist fighting this guy, you weep like a baby and do nothing about it? What the hell are you scared about?"

Me: "I don't know."

That's when Dad taught me some of the choiciest swear words to use. LMAO.

Dad: "Go use them! Tell me how it goes. I hope you meet that son of a..."

Me: [nervously laughing. I was still scared]

After about a week I saw the same bus driver when I stepped in. He was about to yell
when he practically pissed in his pants..while I started off. I ended with a line I practiced for like the entire week..LOL..

"Teri baap ki jaagir nahi hain yeh bus, samjha?" (This bus is not your father's property, understood?)

At the end of which I beamed. A couple of ladies in the front actually smiled back
and congratulated me. LOL. I was the local bus hero! Ha!

Disclaimer: This doesn't mean you can use swear words and turn the world on your side;)

What a day!

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Arrrrrrrrrrgh!

Warning: This is a full fledged 'bitch diary' for the day.

Right from the time I got up today, I was on the run.

First my roommate who moved out recently, kept sneaking in to check on
her "remaining stuff" in the apartment. Several of her woes, my plastic container (good lord, mus be a freaking 4 bucks!), my 2 melamine plates (I have no clue what happened to the other one, but one I seemed to have broke), my two napkins(jeez!) are missing. I really wanted to write her a neat cheque for all this if it made her happy. But she preferred whining about insignificant stuff. And kept telling "Everything was here before I went to the holidays" which actually would read as "You stole my stuff". Yes, I have a part time job and it is stealing other's food containers and cheesy napkins. I surely make a whopping profit off them girl..

Next, the new roommate walks in. Everything gung-ho. No complains here.
I spend some quality time with her grandmother and get all *envious* of a what a terrific family she has to help her with her things and simply take good care of her.
Life seemed so unfair at that point. (All that in another post)

I had to work on an important presentation to be given on Monday. And I did'nt start yet. So after my rather "long" talk with granny, I run to the office only to figure that today was 3rd of Jan. That means last day to pay rent. I run back to my apartment and what do I see? I am out of cheque leaflets! Good Lord! I run to the lease office, "Hey you think you can make do with a debit card?" to which I get a "Hey why dont you pay me a cool 45$ as processing fee?" :(

I go out for a walk with the new roommate to clear my head and lose track of time.
I come back in, only to find my roommate and her husband (now, with accomplice. wow!) sneaking around. Oh well..

I come back to work. All pumped up to start off. An old friend is complaining on chat about "How I don't chat with him these days.." and "Give me a reply within another 30 secs or you will die"

I try to relax and focus. I get a call from a friend in college.
"Hey your apartment keys here, someone wants them."
Basically I am moving into an apartment back at college in few days. Already the mailbox key is misplaced by one of the girl's who subleased the apartment to me. And now some friend of hers temporarily wants to stay in. I have no problems with that. I am basically human and I want to keep track of my freaking apartment keys! x-(

I hate the United States.

Indians and their two suitcases.

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I stared at ma laptop for the nth hour as my roommate was busy packing her clothes
and cleaning up her closet.

As she silently wrapped her stuff and neatly arranged them in the suitcase, I curled
up at the corner of my bed whistling some odd tune..

"You know it is so tough to move..", she started.

"Uhhh, whhaaaat?", I reacted, with my headphones still running on max volume.

"This is the third time I am moving this year", she said

"Well, technically, it has been twice...you are moving out on 1st Jan, which means it falls in the
next year's quota", I said candidly. Of course, my technicalities never impress anyone at
such subtle moments. She seemed totally unappreciative of it and pouted.

Hmmm, time to make it a light hearted moment, I thought. Specially, while I am watching my favorite
TV show I do not want a discussion on how "life can be a bitch". It destroys the entire dynamics of TV watching x-(

"You know when I switched jobs, I was cleaning up my desk one day. There was this co-worker watching me.
An american (whom I never really talked to much before). He asked me if I was relocating to a different place. I said yes..to TX.."

I paused and looked at my roommate.

She still seemed like I bound her limbs in iron chains and I force fed her through a tube in her mouth.
Totally uninterested in my narration. Anyway..I continued.

"So this guy said, so you are an Indian eh? And I nodded. Then he says, you must be travelling then with 2 suitcases"

"It is amazing how you guys fit everything into two little suitcases and off you go!
Like this roommate of mine, an Indian, back at college. All he had was a suitcase and a yoga mat.
Anytime he had to move, he would magically fit all his stuff in a suitcase, hang onto his yoga mat and
leave. And me, I gotta call U-Haul man..You guys are amazing..amazing.."

"I heard him tell the word amazing like a million times.."

And she laughed..LOL

Hmmm, It wasn't really much of a big joke, but I think it jus' struck chord for the moment;)

Oh well, time to continue watching my favorite show..

Happy New Year to all !!

2008, you can go hit yourself on the wall, I dont care. 2009, my love, here I come:)

Twirling my pen..

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has always been my favorite activity. Maybe I should list that up on Orkut? :D

But seriously, after a hearty chat with a friend yesterday, it seemed like I ain't
"passionate" about anything in this world. Isn't that depressing?

So I sat down yesterday and I scrolled a few words across my writing pad.

My roommate walks in and reports:
"The water's all over the bathroom floor, the flush is clogged. Nothing works in this apartment"

I stared at her like she just told me she discovered a treasure chest.

"That's it! That is why you have never been passionate about stuff!!", screamed my mind voice.

No, it didn't mean that the flush had anything to do with my passions. It just means
I have been complaining a way lot for a long time now..When you really sit down to "think" you really can figure out.

Usually I would bitch and curse the lease guys..Waste a good 15 mins on that, then get lazy and then pull myself somehow to go knocking on the lease office to complain. Instead I just stormed in and unclogged the whole thing..

Ok, so far gross. But the point is, I have been cribbing that I got no time to do all that I wana do.

It's a shame. So I just went ahead and listed down a few (oh well, I guess I will rephrase. These are the things that interest me:))

Writing (I used to write to a lot of children's magazines before..sighh)
Community service
Singing
Cooking
Mixing music tracks(?? what?? lol.)
Twirling my pen (ok, kidding)
Travelling on foot
Dancing like crazy (I think this must go to the top of the list)
Sitting on the front porch, sipping hot tea and chatting up with dad:) (This, unfortunately, cannot be a lucrative profession)
Debating about politics and movies (I personally think I should have pursued journalism)

Oddly though not one among the above even remotely coincides
with my profession nor did I do any of them in the last few years.

Life needs a U-turn right now..

PS: This is yet another cheesy "me-me" blog..I can't wait to start a journal starting next year and fill it up! Then I will stop cranking up my blogs with cheesy stuff.

End of year..that's what everybody says.

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Ok, firstly I got a guitar! Yayyyy:)
Acoustic of course, to begin with.
So I am excited, for myself:)

And now for the annoying parts of my life.


Everyone around me talks about "recession"

Dad: "Will you make a job? We will pray for you."
Just when I think "how sweet of you..." he continues
"But you will make a job na? Do you want to marry atleast?"

WTF!

Do you want to marry ATLEAST? Huhhh! Where did that come from?

Me: Hows life ???
K: Kya karu re, jobs hi nahi hain so passing my time
Me: Could'nt you talk about say like the movie you watched last night..damn.

Roommate (yelling over the phone in the kitchen): "What the hell! Layoffs in India??
How can that be possible??? Layoffs? Layoffs in India?"
Me (comes to the kitchen)
Roommate to me (still with the phone ON): "You know they are laying off in India!! Can you believe that?"
Me (expressionless): Ya, breaking news.
(No offense roomie, it is just getting to my nerves now..)

Not one positive attitude among the people I know.
Extremely de-motivating. :(

Why are you going to gym?

Hmm. Good question. I really didn't think gym could be a place to sit and read
or gym was our local community center or gym was a place to watch TV or gym was some place you can get your nails done (oh, btw I don't give a damn about nails being done...whoever thought of such a thing as "nails being done"...People are way too obsessive abt getting their nails done. That story is a long one. So some other time.)

Gym, people, is where you try to exercise. Get it? So don't ever ask me why I am going to the gym, followed by "Oh you want to look sexy for your boyfriend aa?"
and please dont add the "aa" at the end of the sentence. Drives me crazy.


Several other annoying questions:

Why is your boyfriend so far away from you? Why dont you guys marry?
(None of your business)
Why did you get up at 6 am? (I need to dude, to go to work at 8 am.
So get over it! :x)
Why do you eat so much yogurt? (Seriously, is yogurt getting out of supply because I eat all of it?)
Why did you stop eating meat? (Ok, this ain't annoying the first time because I was
a regular meat eater..But repeating yourself again and again, is much more irritating. So quit asking me.)

and this takes the crown:

"Why can't you act like a girl?"

(No comments.)

and before someone asks me "What are you doing now?"

I am right now doing lunges behind my desk and small-talking with this sweet (..so I thought) janitor who just now shoved her business card and stormed out without as much as a "take care" after the 15 min conversation:

House & Apartment cleaning

Reasonable prices
General Cleaning
(512)-XXX-XXX

65$ and up.

Bitch.

It is 1.30 am and all I can think right now is the Unda Aloo roll served at Kati Roll, Greenwich Village...

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Shit I should be taking a flight to midtown Manhattan...:(

(The title was too small to fit in my agony..)

Breaking up can be easy if...

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NYC Diaries

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Good News: There are New Yorkers who still do open the door for you..
Bad News: They constitute just 1% of the population

Good News: The view from the Empire State is surely breathtaking
Bad News: They stop you on the 86th floor and rip you off, of your money, if you have to go to the 102nd floor.:)

Good News: The train takes me to Manhattan in 20 mins from Jersey. Yayy!!
Bad News: It takes 30 mins to reach the train station and 30 mins thence from the train station to ma office..so who cares how fast the train goes x-(

Good News: I got a cheap apartment to stay.
Bad News: It has mice, no AC, leaking roof, creaking floor..(but ma roommates are swell, so there is good in bad :)

Good News: The strawberry shake at Mac Donalds still tastes the same. Sweet and yum.
Bad News: You pay 3$ and 2 cents for it at Broadway:) (as opposed to 2$ and 16 cents at Jersey)

Good News: Sure, they have 12 flavors of coffee at ma office to choose from
Bad News: I love only two among them (and they get over real soon. Its hazelnut and french vanilla.)

Good News: The city is heaven to shopaholics.
Bad News: I unfortunately, am not Donald Trump's daughter:)

Good News: There was a kid in the train beating an ugly rude man who kept shoving him hard.
Bad News: The kid used a balloon to hit him.

Good News: You walk by fancy NYPD cars, sharp shooters and patrolling cops on the Wall Street
Bad News: You still get stalked by perverts on the street.

Good News: I love the weirdity of New York.

- A grumpy old woman will yell at you for talking on the phone at the bus station. (I have no clue why??!!$$%& She sweared at me for a hard 15 mins!!)

>> Bad news (for her): I continued on phone. LOL.

- A black teenager will try to scare you in the dark. He was harmless though, thank lord.

>> Bad news: He didnt catch me off guard. I expected it. LOL. He sucked at scaring people :)

- A naked man always stands in Times Square. In fact, pretty girls take pics with him

>> Bad news: Err, he looks kinda ugly??!! After him, I have stopped thinking about naked men, unless i am in a mood to witness a nightmare.

Good News: I got to work on so many different charitable service events.
Bad News: None! I absolutely loved every moment of it.:)

Good News: There is always a sale in New York City!:)
Bad News: Shopping centers are notorious in bringing down your resolve to save money.

Good News: I love central park.
Bad News: I live too far away from the park :(

Good News: I got three paychecks today..and I kept chuckling adding up the figures iteratively:)
Bad News: I hunted down the paychecks after 2 hours..long story! ugh!

Good News: My internship ends tomorrow. Time to chill!! yayyy!
Bad News: I am addicted to NYC. I dont wana leave !!! :((((

New York Cares

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This weekend was rather hectic. I had to travel from Jersey to Upper West Side of New York. I kept cursing myself for having to wake up at 7.45 am on a lazy Saturday morning.

A calls.

A: "Wake up sweetie. You have to go play the kids today.."
M: "Groaaaaannnnnnnn"
A: "Do you know what train to catch? How much time does it take?"
M: "It takes a million years.." [Me pulls the rug over me]
A: "So eat something real quick and lets go!!"
M: "Leave me alone!!!!"
A: "Shall I call you after 10 mins? You can sleep till then.."
M: "aaaaaaaargh..why do you have to be so nice to me?"

So finally am up there..on a subway..punching in my debit card pin and buying a ticket..

By the time I reach 135th street its already 10.05 am.
And am supposed to be at 10 am on 138th..some peach colored building full of kids waiting on me.
"Oh ya, this sucks...so darn unprofessional of me...late by a whole 15 mins..", I think to myself.

"Hi! Morning. I volunteer for the New York Cares..", I introduce myself, gasping, to the guy behind the reception counter. He leads me in to this tiny kid's room full of crayons, pencils, paint brushes, game boards and snacks. A nice small couch and a TV and a wash basin, a table and lots of toddler chairs.

"Look at my shoes..they are so BIG!!", yells a 6 yr old from her seat..
"Big..and purple!",I add :)
"Mine are even bigger", says her twin sister..

The next 1 hour was fun knowing the kids, filling in colors into Olympics bear on a white sheet..

There was this guy Joshua, who was very creative.
"I want to draw Shadow", he declared and started to draw on the back side of the sheet.

Within 10 mins he drew the side, rear and front views of this character. Pretty amazing stuff.

We then went to the New York Library. It was the reading hour for the kids.

This is where, the twin sisters kept me on ma toes. They go by name Janais and Anais.

Janais kept clunging to ma legs and Anais kept pulling out books from the shelves @10/min.

"Dont you wana read Anais"?, I asked calmly..trying to settle my nerves.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO", she would scream and run around the library..

She then had a fetish for a book on corn all of a sudden.."I want a book on Corn" she announced and pulled me to the lady at the desk.
"Lady, can i have a book on Corn?", Anais asked and the lady reluctantly walked to the aisle of books and showed me where the food section was.

Then she continued "I love candy...No I love chocolate..I want a party book...I want a book on tigers..I want to read Dolphins..I want baby whales..I want to read about penguins"

I drenched in my own sweat running around them...They made the library a park and sought hide and seek to reading books.

Soon it was lunch time and we made some ham and peanut butter jelly sandwiches for them. As I neatly arranged them on a plate with chips, raisins and carrots, the kids would neatly remove the carrots out of the plate and stick it in my palm..lol.

Post lunch it was story time. The kids had to write a story each with the help of their volunteer.

One kid wrote..

Title: A boat that could not float.

Once there was a boat that could not float. One day somebody taught the boat how to float. So the boat floated and sailed away into the sea.

LOL

At the end of it all, I don't think it was so bad after all to drag myself out of bed so early:)

Big Deal!

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Ok, so I am in United States. So, what's the big deal?
Recent conversation with my dad:

[I call him up after a night out of err..academics (ok so i watched a movie, so wot? I studied too!x()]

After all that dialling Indian mobile # and my balance updates from a sucky voice on IVRS, I delve right into the conversation..

Me: So whats up?
Dad: Oh hi my dear baby, Manjuttie.

[Me is confused. Dad never really gets all "sweet" and "gooey" like that]

Me: Err..ya, hi dad. Dear dad!
Dad: So hows the apartment at New York [emphasising on "New York" so much that I thought for once
I was beginning to hear things TWICE. argh!]

Me: What apartment?
Dad: Ya, so you got an internship at NEW YORK. CONGRATULATIONSSSS!!

Me: Didnt I inform you that late October last year? [Still confused]
Dad: [Paying no attention, whatsoever] So what is the time at TEXAS?

Me: Huh!! Gosh! Where the heck are you? Are you outside?
Dad: [Finally answering my question] Yes, at this society meeting.

Me: Oh yaaa. That explains all this NEW YORK, TEXAS emphasis huh?
Dad: [Switching back] So how is the weather there at Texas?

Me: Dad, stop!!
Dad: I was just telling Mr. XYZ, about your trip to Seattle

Me: Ya, god bless him, but does he even know what you are talking about? He doesn't know what "Seattle" is, I bet.
Dad: And I told him my daughter has been to Seattle and it rains there all the time

Me: Why don't you also tell him about the weather at Colorado, San Franscisco, Florida and New York? It doesn't matter if I have been there or not. Also tell him that it doesn't rain that much at SF, funny ain't it?
Dad: So i heard the apartment at NY costs 3000$ per month? It is 1,20,000 rupees per month na?

Me: [I give up] Alright I will call you later. Do you friggin' know it costs 6 cents/min for this stupid call. Switch off the mobile and speak to your heart's content. It doesn't matter if I am on the phone.
Dad: Ok, I will you back when I am home. HEHEHE.

Me: [After hanging up] So much for hi my dear baby! x-((((((

Radical thoughts

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Sometimes I want to chew the head off of some people who think the world of them. I completely,
absolutely loathe narcissists!

Sometimes I feel like just jumping off a building top. That's right, you heard me right. Now don't ask me why.

Sometimes I feel like just running a lot. A lot means lotttttttt!

Sometimes I want to just drive a big ass truck into somebody's mouth who keeps talking talking talking like there's no end even while you PLEAD them to shut up.

Sometimes (these days specially) want to wake up that small poodle enjoying its sleep and ask "Hey did you ever do any simulations for an Alpha Instruction Set Architecture for an out of order processor using Simple Scalar?". Hopefully, you get the underlying meaning of this all (screw tha jargon)

Sometimes when I see couples fighting or staying apart I want to go ask them to jus' rewind time and see why they actually were fond of each other in the first place. If they don't get what I mean, then they might as well shut their maniacal bitching and whining and GO SLEEP!

Sometimes I want to just keep drinking caffeine..on and on and on. But hey I quit caffeine from today. Period. On second thoughts, whom am I kidding? If you took my word for it a second ago, wish I could say "Happy April Fools Day"

Sometimes I want to ask this flab all over ma body "Hey, so you are enjoying weighing over me, you nasty li'l bastard" while I am sweating it out at a gym.

Sometimes I wish I had all the courage to just follow ma dreams :( It is by far the most scary, most dreaded thing I could ever want to do. Sad.

More rebellous thoughts saved for later.

Can anyone tell me why..

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...the Computer Science department at my university does not have more than 2 linux boxes. Why, god why? Arrrgh!

...the flush tank at home just choked, overflowed, flooded and submerged my comforter, clothes, papers. Arrrgh!

...I am sleeping at the tune of 12 hours per day? Likes it's my job to sleep. Like I am getting paid for it. Double Arrrgh!

...I would'nt let go the gum in ma mouth and keep chewing on it like it's my job! Why can't I simply spit the damn thing outand get a new one? It's right in my darned jean pocket, another gum waiting to be "gummed" (lol). I just gotta pull it out, spit this out and put another one in! Arrgh!

...so many losers surround ma each day..my each "unslept" part of the day x-([You have no clue how many losers. Gosh! And you have no clue what I am talking about. So screw it and read further.]

Ok, never mind telling me. Looks like I have made ma blog ma agony aunt.

But to reset it's status I have a short story. Or rather anecdote. I just remembered it out of the blue.

My dear old undergraduate days at Pilani (BITS). All hungry souls waited on the piping hot maggi our mess bhaiyyas (fondly as they are called. they really were sweethearts. you spill the milk on the floor, they wipe it off the floor without as much as an angry nerve. Phew! For the explanation :)) made every night after dinner. Ok. That aint the anecdote anyways.

As usual Tamilians are forced to learn Hindi when they go North. Some try hard to manage, some just learn the customary"Maggi bhaiyya", "Dahi bhaiyya" (curds) to survive the hunger. So there is a cute unassuming Southie girl standing couple of heads before me.

She - "Maggi bhaiyya"
Bhaiyya - "Banana hain" (I am yet to make it)

She - [Confused] "Banana nahi. Maggi"
Bhaiyya - "Banana hain" [Wiping out the sweat off his face]

She - [Handing the 2 rupee food coupon to him and pointing to the Maggi packets] "Magggggggggi bhaiyya"
Bhaiyya - [Looking at us with a pleading face to rescue him]

Us - "Ok XYZ, it's not banana he is talking about. It's just Hindi you see and all you have to know is it doesnt mean BANANA"

Another in the line - "Ya dont go bananas over it ;)"

LOL.

Ok I gotta get out of here now. Amen.

OCD

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That's right, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Ask me why. Here is the answer:

- Taking bath twice in a day. No kidding! (And to understand the gravity of it, you should ask my friends about my previous life (pichla janam! hehe), when I seldom took bath :p)

- Addicted to caffeine, to the score of 3 Mac Donald coffees per day(3$/day :(). Previously loathed American coffee (decafs) and now gulping it by the gallons.

- Addicted to TV shows (2 episodes of Two and a Half Men, 2 episodes of Prison Break , 2 episodes of How I met your Mother). And that's just the average.

- Eyes glued to the laptop for close to 21 hours everyday, half the time for reasons above, and the other half conduting "simulations" that run forever and suck the blood off ma eyes.

- Not picking calls. An intensive urge to NOT pick calls. But returning calls within next 24 hrs.
Weird huh? Hey, that's why I self-proclaim maself as OCD. duh!

- Running. A lot. Running like it's my job. Running like I am escaping death. Running like the world is coming to an end. Running like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. Ok you get it, right?!

- Talking to A, morning, afternoon, evening and in the night. IST. Ok timezones does'nt matter since I am talking all day long. :)

A ton more of such obsessions..but did the inquisitive soul in you just ask me, "Then when is it that you study?"


PS: As my professor once said, is your blog a "ME ME ME ME" blog? So I will try to post something more generic and not just about me. Till then I will beat you to death with the updates of my life.

My dear Internet

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You have changed, affected & healed lives.

Ok, sounds cliched. *grin*

I mean it does make a lot of difference the way we have changed our perspective to meet the Internet savvy life.

I often go on trips and like to take tons of pics of the place I visit.
It usually ends up with more than 50% photos capturing 'us' than the place.
Ok, coming back to the point, most of the times when I take a pic of my friends I can hear them say
"Hey that background would look so good on Orkut!"
So if it sounds as though these pics are taken only 'coz we can sport them on orkut, facebook, myspace etc., you are right! LOL.

Or the time when my dad asks me, "So I doubt you are studying at grad school. Just curious, what do you do? Movies?"
"TV shows dad", pat comes the reply.
"You have a TV at home?", he asks, more curious.
"No, my laptop", I tell
"What? TV show on your computer?", he quips.
"Err..never mind. How is the weather back home?", I veer the topic.

Well, even dad gets to put me on spot at times.
"So what have you been doing today? Been to a walk outside?", I ask naively.
"Solitaire", he says, like it is the norm of the day.


On one other occasion. I was at my campus library, scouring for some book.
Apparently the only two copies of the were checked out and it left me irked.
All that biking to this place for miles from my apartment added more to my frustration.

"Can I recall those books? I absolutely need a copy. Do you think the West Campus (other library) would have it?", I ask. To which the old lady at desk says calmly "You can look over at the e-book version"
Duhhh! I know that!x-(
I don't exactly belong to planet Mars. Or maybe they have their own Internet there too. Martian Internet. LOL

My professor once quipped in class.
"Do you know the biggest advantage of doing research in the field of Web spam?"
We all nodded "NO" and blinked at him.
"If your wife catches you browsing unethical sites and frowns on your browser history, you can always tell that you were researching spam on the Internet, it is part of your research", he chuckled.

So the thing is if you are taking pictures for Orkut or you want to shop online for a pair of earphones, or you just feel like reading a book or heck, watch a movie before it hits the theatres, you know that Internet has changed your life.:-)

For the heck of it

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Yeah. It is true.
It is simply one more of those days.
You are sitting and thinking about which homework to work on (ya, its true you only "think" not "act")
over that Mac D coffee (addicted to it now:( ), keeping aside the one SQL query you need to write (which i have been
procrastinating from past 4 days?) and yet i cannot stop but wonder how Chinese men/women are so athletic!

Yeah! How are they so slim and athletic? Can someone answer me (for a grand prize of a dollar meal at Mc D?)
LOL.

Seriously, whenever I travel (ya i am always on bike/bus, not on my feet most of the times) I watch
at the Chinese women with their perfect silky hair pulled into a pony tail and their super athletic body.

But today, surprise surprise. I saw a near to fat Chinese lady and chuckled to myself "Finally!!"

But still she was'nt even fat as me (Hey that doesnt mean am fat! Minced my words i guess!:((

Anyway, I told this to a girlfrnd of mine and she honestly, put the most straight face (the type of expression a li'l kid
would have on his face when he asks you a naive question) and told me
"But I thought most of them are Sumo wrestlers"

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!! You are deep shit you know!", I told her

She nodded her head to the greatest capacity possible.

"Explain", she demanded.

"First of all Sumo wrestlers are of Japanese origin, so your whole doubt on this topic is baseless.
Next, sumo wrestlers are supposed to be fat, That's their profession.
And finally don't you ever demand me for an explanation to a silly doubt"

So much for asking. So now am at Google search typing "Why are chinese so atheletic?".
Lets see what google gives..

LMAO

Results:

"My non-sexual threesome adventure - Canadian Chinese Youth Athletics Association"
"The chinese University of HongKong Required Physical Education Athletics Course notes"


Honestly, I would'nt have minded if they gave me pages of the 2008 Olympics at Beijing.
But this, my friend is pure hilarious.

Wait a second. Wasnt I supposed to be writing that SQL query?

Want free coffee in your mail box? :-)

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Sign up for some Jamaican flavored coffee delivered to your mail.
And no I am not kidding!!

http://beta.joffreys.com/

I am waiting for my free coffee to arrive. I can already smell it. sniff, sniff!
*grin*

Happiness, right now

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..to sit on a couch and sip piping hot (filter) coffee with a book on life.
..to be able to walk on a long abandoned road in the dark and sing out aloud my favorite tune
..to sit on a beach and try to think of nobody but the 'sun'
..to go to a park and run around my dog (when I have one)
..to always be able to eat a tuna sandwich if i want one, anytime of the day

I cant think of any more..right now.

Do you want me to take my shoes off?

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So are you always like this?

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Yeah. I have been asked that a lot of times.
And well its not annoying anymore. I jus thought, "let it be!"

There were like a 100 times when dad talks to me and I reply in monosyllables until..

Dad: So thats the thing. I hate that neighbor. He barfs as hell. He is such a [beeeeeeeeeeep]
Me: Hmmm
Dad: ..he is such a dumbwit. He doesnt even know that such a thing existed. Can you believe that?
Me: Hmmm
Dad: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Hmmm
Dad: I am hanging up!!
Me: Actually, there is this totally cool movie I am watching.
Dad: [click]

the fone tone goes on for eternity and i go back to my movie.

The other day ma friend asked me "Are you always like this?"
I said "Like what?" with the most innocent face I could make up. But that did'nt stop her from saying "Ok. Forget it!"

Or..this one..you gotta hear this one.

X: So your voicemail. Its interesting.
Me: Yeah i know. I was walking down the curb and thought hey why not set up my voicemail. And then I am at loss for words. I actually start talking and then i take this long pause.
X: No, I mean..its hideous ur voicemail
Me: Well you just said its interesting. did'nt you?
X: I mean what is that rhyme in it?
Me: Its called creativity
X: Are you always like this?
Me: Like what?
X: I mean..
Me: No! Tell me! So many people tell me this "Are you always like this?"
I wana know like what! Really! Tell me! Today is one of those "Tell it to me" days. So tellllll me!
X: Forget it!

Well one of the movies i wanted to start downloading..laters with this post.

I heard someone wincing "Are you always like this?" or maybe I am conditioned into hearing that stuff ;)

And yeah, next time some one asks you "Are you always like this?" and you wana tell me that, I believe you! Oh yeah!

Pivot Tables versus Me

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It was a rather friggin' day.
A mid term and then you walk astray.
You donno wot to do
When there is a call for an interview

No! Am not trying too hard to sound rhymy.
My thoughts jus' poured into a rhyme. Thank you very much.!

An excerpt from the interview..

Lady: So, MAN-joo is that how they pronounce your name? [Giggles]
Me: [Not cross! With the most expressionless look] Yes

Note: I gave up explaining Americans how the first three letters of my name isnt an offshoot of the english word "man" but its a vicious world. They jus' dont wana listen to you! They jus' wana eat you and call you MAN

Lady: So you mentioned you have prior work experience on campus?
Me: (the same expressionless face) Yeah.

Lady: Can you tell me a li'l abt it?
Me: (yaawwwwn) It was an office assistant job

Lady: So what kind of stuff you got to do?
Me: (Felt like faking euphoria about ma previous job. But i let it pass.) It was the normal office chores. Photocopying, attending calls, faxing..stuff like that

Lady: Do you know pivot tables?
Me: (Excuse me!) Blank expression

Lady: There was this nice Indian guy who worked with us previously. He did those pivot tables

Lady2: Oh Debbie you dont! You love him so much for pivot tables you would wana search where he is now and get him back dont you?

Lady: I mean it was so awesome. Pivot tables are so awesome.

Lady2: Ya, you always tell me that! (Looks towards me and says) She always tells me that!

Me: (Totally clueless. What is happening here?) Nodding

Lady: So, do you know pivot tables?

Me: (Same blank face) No

Lady: Oh thats a shame!

Me: (wtf!) Isnt this an office assistant job?

Lady: You mentioned Excel on your resume.

Me: (Correcting her) Parts of Excel. I wrote that in there in my CV

Lady: Ya, but you know pivot tables are so awesome.

Me: (Somebody jus' wipe her away from the face of this earth) But that is not a part of the job description you advertised.

Lady: (Shoots a cold look for a brief instant)

Lady2: errr..so manju aside from office chores did you do anything else?

Me:(Oh ya! I socialised with this fat lady in my office and talked about pigs often with her! Duh!)
Well, I used to come early to work, pull up the blinds, turn off the answering machine..stuff like that.

Lady: So...

(one more time she says pivot tables I swear i was ready to storm out of the room but she dint)

Lady:...can you make me a cup of coffee?

Me: Is that a part of this interview?

Ladies laugh. I guess they eased a bit now.

Lady: I cant live without coffee you know!

Lady2: Me too!

Me: Hahaha (like it was a BIG joke! But I swear i didnt know how to react to this)

Lady: So manju temme will you do coffee for us?

Me: Sure i will if you pay me by the cup! And not by the hour!

Lady: (Laughs)

Lady: So describe a crisis situation you were in before and what you did to come out of it.

Me: (I was aching to tell, for example am in a crisis situation now. Stuck with two insane ladies who jus think the world of pivot tables and coffee. To come out of it I can act like am going into a coma??) I screwed up my company's SMTP server once.

Lady: Blink
Lady2: Blink

Me: Its a long story. I came out of it by just informing my manager about it and sought help.

Lady: OK

Me: (Wow! I shut her up! LOL)

Lady: We have another round of interview now.

Me: (Wot da hell???? Wot????)

Lady2: Come with me Manju. You need to do a li'l exercise for us.

Me: (Are you kidding me???)

Lady2: (Takes me to a desktop, logs me in and says) You need to write a small draft. We would want to rate your writing and articulating abilities

Me: (Havent I displayed my marvellous articulation back in there?) Yeah. Sure.

Lady2: You have 30 mins for this activity

Me: (Dont even bother! Am gona shoot this off in like 5 mins. Gimme the damned desktop now)
Alrite. Can i go ahead now?

Lady2: Please do. Once your done, take a print and slip the paper in if am not around. I might be gone.

Me: (You cant put me up with this lame stuff and go out for a smoke!) Ok. Not a problem.

I did finish in like 8 mins. I found her and gave her the paper.
She did the customary "It was nice talking to you" and I did the customary "Same here"

Came out and breathed in some crisp evening air.

Did i jus' tell her it was nice talking to her? Somebody kick me!

I wanna sue life! x-(

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Life's so cliched these days.

Ya, i like to put it that way than rather say life is routine.
It sounds so cliched doesnt it?

I met this super woman at a conference last week.
It blew me off! The way she could talk her way out of things, her hardships, her triumphs, her experiences and her commitment to work and life, to everything that mattered, her family, her kids, her friends. It was all so inspiring. And yet she was so humbly humble! (if there is such a thing as humbly humble!)

Anyway, my point is, life gets cliched when you dont sit up and think in ur head, think for urself.
What do i wana get out of MY life.?
No this isnt a self help book.
Am serious! Am screwed up most of da times, but i can still do this "am serious" thing at times.

Each passing day, we dont realise how we might be ruining dos moments which can MAKE ur life the way you want it to be.
Why should we think in the same lines? What after college? What after ma first job? What after marriage? What after kids?

Its like we are trained to do this. All so robotic!
'
There are days when I have walked on a road without even as much a thought as "is it da right way am going?" because my mind and body are automated to walk that road evry single day so ma mind wont "think". The mind has been put to sleep. It jus' leads me to the place I wana go..magical isnt it? Its devastatingly mechanical, if u ask me x-(
Your mind isnt in control about what you do, where you go, coz it has seized to think.

And life plays its little games on you!
Life is what you make it to be. So its that part of ma life where am sitting up and doing some "soul searching" (beat da heck outta exams and homeworks!! who cares! people do. but they dont rule ma life, do they?)

I, me, maself

Ya i know i am such a self centered swine. But I love maself too much and am proud of me.
To others, I am gona sue you! x-(
Am done sueing life

Amen.

Perspective

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Is the sun rising or setting?

Courtesy: My software engineering class :)

..And even if it kills me am gonna smile :=)

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So says my facebook 'Quote for the Day' app.

Its amusing how people cannot get themselves to smile these days.
And wots more amusing is its taken a toll on me.
Its like I have been trained to do the 'dont-smile-at-people-becoz-they-dont-smile-at-you-neways-so-why-shud-you' act!(phew. that was long!)

I mean, you hav'nt got like the crumbiest teeth have you?

You jus' walk down the road and you see how people are scheming on how to steal glances at you and not smile or plain dart their eyes and roll them down like they are in deep thought.

Like there is this friend o' mine, he knows me, we took courses together and yet he cant bring himself to acknowledge me with a smile. Heck, you dont hav to socialise to smile!

Or there is more pronounced trend amongst us(or so i think!)..You walk by, on a road, sum crowded joint, library or simply by the classroom and you see this person walkin towards you..and your mind starts to race (ya, mind! not da heart.dats a totally different story neway;)).

/me versus mind

me: heck, should I?
mind: who, what?

me: ders smone coming dis side. vaguely familiar.
mind: oh ummm.so?

me: shud I?
mind: huh?

me: shud i errr..smile?
mind: is dat smthing you ought to think so much abt. it aint rocket science. so do it dammit!

me:

the person walks by

me: seeeeeeeeee! he dint even know me! i feel like a fool.
mind: lol. wot a loser! move on girl! see..ders sum eye candy der by the water fountain. watcha think?

so you see folks, listen to your mind.
And ya, SMILE! Even if you dont know me;)

And thats how you build character..

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If you ask me this whole thing about "building character" is bullshit.

There was a time when i jumped around in skirts, basking in ma outdoorsy delights (playing marbles! yayyyy!!)
or simply taking pride in ma elementary school victories (winning a lemon-n-spoon contest! yayyyyy!)

But dad wud'nt think so! x-(

He wanted me to clean the porch or cut vegetables for mom or learn "how to pay the home electricity bill"
Becoz he thot it builds character.

I argued "How can standing in one long queue outside a govt. office drenching in ma own sweat and praying that ma turn to pay the bill came soon, build character?"
Its supposed to give me a headache, if you ask me!

Or there was a time when I was sick and crawled upto him one nite and said, "Dad, i wana puke." and he said, "There's the bathroom. You know what to do".
"You know wot, i dono how to puke! So you better get out of the bed!"

And thats when after da bathroom hustle I was lectured more on character building.

Later as I began to stay out of home, I finally said to maself "Manju, no more character building.!"

Along came "cleanliness" freaks, "perfectionist" team leads, "organized" roommates
All of them with a single motto "character building is the crux of life"

Now when ma dad calls me, he often asks
"So are you guys paying up your bills in time?"

To which I reply, "Yeah. All the character building apparently has gone ONLINE"

Why can't I ever build character in a Miami condo or a casino somewhere?
-- Calvin

Eavesdropping & more..

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Girl at walmart counter: So how u doin' today?
Desi guy: [Dumbstruck..stares at the girl]
Girl: Everyting ok with you sir?
Desi guy: [Wakes up] What?

Me [on fone]: Vet Med Park. This is Manju. How may I help you?
Caller: Ma pigs..
Me: Am sorry (?!??)
Caller: Ma pigs..they are sick.
Me: huh?
Caller: Ma pigs are sick. They dont eat anymore. Wot do i do?
Me: Err..Am sorry ma'm you dialled the wrong number
Caller: Isnt that what a vet is supposed to do? You medicate ma pigs!
Me: Am sorry this is College of Veterinary Medicine. We DO NOT take care of animal medication or consultation and..
Caller: [Getting hysterical] But they are sick!
Me: You need to check the yellow pages ma'm
Caller: So can you gimme the number?
Me: [ha so clever!] Sure.

[At the bus stop]
Girl to Guy: So, what's ur number?
Guy: 979-blah-blah
Girl: Aha. So we meet this Sat to get the homework done?
Guy: Yep
Girl: I have this American Association blah blah meeting I gotta attend. And there's the first meeitngof Origami society after that. So it might take me sumtime to get started on the homework
Guy: [Nods]
Another girl waving at the girl: Heyyyyyyyyy Michhhhelle..[Hugs] Howwww are yaaaa?! I missed yaaa..
Girl: Awwwwwwwwww
Guy: [Crossing his eyebrows and staring]
Girl: I misssed you tooooo
Girl # 2: Oh you dint!
Girl: i did!
Girl # 2: Did not!
Girl: Did!
Girl # 2: Did not!
[Phone rings]
Girl: Heyyyyyy Stephhh!!! howwww r yaaa??? i missed ya..
Girl: Oh my god! Ohhh - myyyyy - goddddd
Girl # 2: [Shaking her hands, legs, hips in a frenzy..] What? What happened?
Girl: Ok!!!! i will be there in a jiffy.
[Hangs up]
Girl # 2: Whatttttttt??
Girl: We are having a party tonite. We gotta get supplies and cook and..
Girl # 2: ohhhh-myyyyy-goddddd! Shudddddddup!
Girl to guy [as she runs off]: Hey J#$%^%. Gotta go! C ya around.
Guy: [Smiles]

Girls walk away

Guy: BITCH!!!!


At a career fair presentation..
Chinese Guy: So is it is the you do fy-nance see-ayl and aaaaa solutions and wan(t) still to ty-ke petroleum ma-jores for soft-wire????
Representative: aaaah, can u repeat the question?
Chinese Guy: [Repeats]
Rep: huh..ya [nods, without a clue about what he was asked]
Chinese Guy: So is it is the work giv-and to thy ma-jores from pet-roll-eum not rel-oh-vent to the areas of inter-rest of what we dooo at compass and how is it go-ing to bene-fitt the comp-ony and you?
Rep: huh..ya. huhhhhhhhh..ummmm
Desi: He wants to know how you are benefitting by recruiting petroleum majors though you are essentially into creating financial software solutions.
Rep: Ohhhhhhhhh! Oh that..ok. it goes like this..blah blah blah

LOL !

On skydiving, clicking pictures & pregnant ladies

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An hour of software engineering classwork:

Me: [walks in. Front rows are empty. Damn! There isnt any place at the back. Damn!]
Lively (professor): What time is it?

Me: huh?

Lively: When does the class begin?
Phoren guy: 3 pm!

Lively: And wot time is it now?
Phoren guy: 3.10 sir!

Lively: Okkie then. I wud appreciate if you guys come to class in time
Me: Duhhh!

Lively: [paces up and down] you thereeeee!!
[Points at a guy behind] Have I taken your picture?

Guffaws..

Guy behind: Yes you have

Lively: hmmm. I dont remember ya. Anyone who hasnt, get your picture taken after the class.Now leme see if i can get your names and faces right.

Lively: [looks at me] Joshi?
Me: Naa..Manju.

Lively: Yeah. You take out your glasses and let your hair down for a picture and then you come all tied up other times. How am i supposed to know its you!?

Me: [holy shitttt!!]

More guffaws

Lively: Girls and their hairstyles.okkie then lets begin the class.

Me: [finally! Time to doze ]

Lively: So what is web engineering? Anyone?
McMillan: Umm, its engineering of the web?

Plenty of Guffaws!

Lively: [paces up and down, faces the class and with a stoic expression] is it wot spiders do?

hahaha!

Lively: blah blah blah. So what do we call systems that can handle catastrophic situations? Anyone?

[pauses]

McMillan: fail-safe?
Lively: Who said that? Who?

Class goes into a lull.

Guy at the door: It came from that direction.

Lively: Mcmilllllllllllllllllan??????
McMillan: errr..

Lively: [eyebrows crossed] McMillan! Whats fail safe?
McMillan: Systems that are safe from failure?

hahaha

Lively: They are called fault tolerant..blah blah blah..Have you heard of the Mythical Man Month? Anybody?

Lively: Okkkie then. It says "Persons and months dont interchange". Or dooooooooooooooooooo they?????Ummm. What happens if they are 1000 developers working on one single project?

Desi guy [waiting to impress] : It leads to conflicts. There wont be a consensus and leads to low productivity

Lively: Good! Let me see. If a woman can give birth to a newborn in 9 months can 9 women do it in a single month??

Guffaws n guffaws!

Lively: Awwwrite! [Turns and stares point blank at me] What is the terminal velocity rate when you sky dive?
Me: [My wake up call!] 124mph!

Lively: You! Manju! You are gona make an A in ma class!
Me: I sure will!

Lively: I was testing if you guys lend me a ear when I talk gibberish.
Me: duhh!

yada yada yada

End of the class.

So anyone can tell me what I quoted about productivity?

Some voice in the class: 9 pregnant ladies?
Lively: Awwrite. Dont write that in ma mid term

How I cooked up blog titles and then ran out of steam..

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It happened on a sordid afternoon, 3 hours back, when in the parking lot me and ma lunch partner discovered....
helmet lock...that can open with any key(huh! wot did u think? wots great about a helmet lock? aint dat dumb. :x)

yeah...and then...i said in ma throaty voice (down with a bit of cold), lets blog abt it?

We lapped up a rotten meal for lunch and felt proud abt skipping an expensive looking restaurant for this rotten meal.
"Lets wash it up wid an ice cream cone", lp suggested

lp == lunch partner, for the uninitiated.

And then we skipped another expensive looking ice cream parlor..

"We can find a softie on our way bak to our abode", we proudly declared in chorus.

And then we dint spot an ice cream parlor newhere else.

"Wots wrong wid da world? Isnt there any sound person who nurtures the idea of opening an ice cream parlor?", I thought.

That's when I thot to hell wid blogging...to hell wid evrything..

If you cant get an ice cream, swell! Wot is life then about?

Life is then abt blog titles;) Exactly..Dint know if relating all ma past incidents across several posts was a gud idea..so I thot why not just end up with self explanatory blog titles!!!!
(Ya i welcum claps..thank u thank u!)

So here goes.

- How me and ma lp found dat his helmet lock opens wid ne damned key and no, human nails arent even close to opening it!

- How I impressed ma visa officer wid a crisp shirt and lots of grins and got ma visa of course!

- How I shopped at a store day after day and end the day with a hysterical fight evryday

- How I am learning to car drive with a barking car instructor who goes spookily silent on evry Mon, Tue, Wed and Sat

- How the li'l girl on the street nudged at me and said "Didi..chaaabi.." and I thanked god she called me didi and not aunty

- How I was treated to a farewell party and people kept asking me "Ur leaving right?" while I was still very much an employee

- And how at the same farewell party I intended to give a farewell speech and ended up sharing controversial anecdotes

- How i frantically Alt + Tab when ma lead comes to ma desk and still orkut will magically pop up upfront

- How I read "Tuesdays wid morrie" and went and asked ma dad "Are you suffering from ALS?" and next day made ma lp read da wikipedia on ALS.

- How I visited a money swindling doctor (and still visiting out of compulsion) and make him record da pulse rate, BP, weight, height and feel satisfied abt da whole affair being paisa-vasool.

Life I tell u...hmmm...dont even bother! I sign off here.
And wot are u doin here? Go watch Chitrahaar! Like I care! duhhh.

So, do you suffer from chair butts?

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That li'l thing called courtesy

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It started when dad's cellfone broke down..
No, actually it started with the bacteria (or is it micro organisms?)
that infected dad with cold and cough..

And since then dad's gone on a spree of medical check-ups.
And the best part is he (and also me) believe in taking second opinions.

YES! EVEN ON DIAGNOSIS!

Such is life.

And now dat means u also gotta collect the numerous
reports, x-ray scans etc etc. from these labs.

I head to the lab on ma bike, park, go in and casually ask
"Am here for Mr. ABC's X-ray report" and leaf out the receipt.

Woman at the desk: [Nods]
Me: [Waits]

'coz she's on the bleddy phone.

1..2..3..4..

I mean hello isnt she supposed to be answering me?
She's the friggin' receptionist here!

Woman at the desk: [Hands over a larger than A4 size X-ray in an envelope]

Me: [Relieved]

On the packet: "Mr. XYZ "

Now we all know XYZ is different from ABC. Aint we?

Me: Hello, this isnt the same as the name on da (friggin') receipt!

Woman on the desk: [Blushing]

No, I dint make her go pink..It was da guy mayb on da oder side of da fone.

Woman at the desk: [Grabs the large envelope from ma hand..
yes GRABS! Leafs thru and gives me the right one this time]

Me: Err..Would you have a polythene cover, you see the
thing is I cant carry this envelope since am driving and..

Woman at the desk: NOOOOOOOO!

Me: ..and I cant fold it! Thanks!

I really needed an envelope now. I come out of the lab
and I find maself asking at a medical shop counter.

"Do you think you would have a polythene bag to carry this?", pointing to the X-Ray

The middle aged guy (with dirty hands) nods his head sideways..

"Thanks!"

"Do you know a stationary shop nearby?"

This time the man shakes his head off..so long that
I thot his head would friggin' detach from his neck.

I take to ma heels..only to realise the bleddy medical shop
actually camouflaged a match box size stationery store RIGHT NEXT TO IT!!!

I mean is this guy insane? I just asked him if he knew a friggin' stationery?!
Could'nt he hav jus' friggin' opened his dirty mouth (am sure his mouth was dirty.damn.)
and gave me dat li'l piece of info?

I bumped into a small guy working in da store.

"Hey! I need a polythene bag for this", pointing at the envelope.

The li'l guy smiled and went in to search for one.

"Old one will also do", I shouted at his back.

Jus' when a woman in her mid-fourties gave me "wot da heck" look.

She apparently was the owner, parked in a dingy corner of da store.

"We got no polythene bag!!!"

"I thought the guy said you have.."

"No, we dont" she cut me bluntly.

"Umm, so wots dat there?", pointing to 3 polythene bags hanging from plastic hooks.

"I cant giv dat"

"I think it has waste paper in it."

"I cannot!!!"

"Yes you can. Now how abt if i buy this pen here?", I say pointing to a pen behind the glass panes.

"I WILL NOT giv you a polythene bag", she snaps

I bent over and looked at the li'l guy who had gone in..

She screamed her guts at the guy.
"Dont give her any bag!!!"

Hmmm.
I sumtimes wonder. Wot is with Indians and the lack of courtesy?
Arent we a civilized society? Or is this still the dark ages?

Oh in case your wondering how I carried the X-Ray home.
Well, it neatly fitted in the front dicky of ma bike :)
Go ahead, call me dumb! duhhh!

Abt a good samaritan, damp weather and view from a balcony

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After a whole day without work, bored of sitcoms and no mood to read..wot do u do?
SOS!

I strutted to the sit-out and perched on an old plastic chair, looked around.
Plain old watching the roads! Realised how much I missed out on this whole affair
of sitting in a balcony and reading people walking on da road.

The weather was damp from unexpected showers.

And no! I neva gotto smell the earth before the rains:(
'coz it was unexpected. Few clouds huddled together from nowhere
and made the air more humid.


2 pretty looking school girls in pajamas raced behind a dachshund.

A middle aged couple on their ritual evening walk

A delivery guy on a cycle delivering local magazines in da neighborhood

A security guy in da opposite mansion drinking chai

And a fallen tree on da road..

The cars drove past..making its way thru the fallen tree..

The two wheelers chugged along..they did not hafta make der way thru it..it was easy for dem..

Innumerable cycles wheeled across..

People walking past..deep in der muddled thots..


My eyes drooping and almost breaking into a late evening trance, when I see
a limping figure, should be atleast 80 years old, his head with a turban and coughing,
bending on the road and lifting the fallen branch of the tree..

He struggled a li'l but showed no signs of giving up..slow n steady pushing it to the side
As much as possible to the sides..

Then giving a long look at da tree..deciding its now a safe world for all, silently
retreated into the dark lanes..

"Did you c dat????", ma dad called from the side terrace overlooking the balcony.

"Yeah!!!!!!!!", i smiled.

"We need more people like him", concluded dad.