That's right. I talked about shame. I didn't talk about happiness, joy, pride, laughter...all the good things that you and I want to hear about. The human mind is complex. We crave for attention and worthiness more than anything else. Ask yourself, honestly what do you love most? Shame or pride? Obviously the latter. Yet, we do not realize that to make it to pride, you have to knock shame out of the way...
As a kid, you don't know what shame is about. You are fearless. Shame is unheard of. All you are is inquisitive. Hungry and foolish. You are your own limit. You didnt need self-help books nor counsel from people on "Do this and not that". Yes, you are fearless.
I remember till date...when I walked upto stage facing about 500 odd people in my high school. To sing. To sing a song, impromptu. No practice. No drama. No fear. No nothing.
I walked upto the stage at this prestigious singing competition and sang the cheesiest romantic song from a popular Bollywood movie then. I remember my brother sitting in the far corner of the school stadium, burying his face, in shame. I could see his friends ridiculing him - "And that dumb ass is your sister?"
I knew nothing. I didnt feel a thing. In fact, if you want to listen to the song I sang, it was this one, right below. Click on it and you will go WTF. And correct, it was the male version that I sang. Because the male one had easier lyrics that I remembered.
Yet, I didnt feel a thing. Also there were so many expectations, I was told later, of the student who sings in the competition. You had to sing a patriotic song I was told to be even considered worthy of winning. Needless to say I didn't win. I remember my cute looking classmate who sang the "Nanna Munna Raayi" song had won second. I wonder if the first was Vandemataram.
Oh screw it. I was overjoyed once I finished. I went straight home that evening, threw my bag and shoes off and ran to my dad to announce how glorious the whole thing was. I told him how people had laughed.
My dad asked me - "Did they applaud?"
To which I said - "No, they just laughed. Why?", peering at him closely as if to ask if that was important..
All he said was - "No. Jealous bitches. You did great" and went back to watching the news on TV.
As a kid, you don't know what shame is about. You are fearless. Shame is unheard of. All you are is inquisitive. Hungry and foolish. You are your own limit. You didnt need self-help books nor counsel from people on "Do this and not that". Yes, you are fearless.
I remember till date...when I walked upto stage facing about 500 odd people in my high school. To sing. To sing a song, impromptu. No practice. No drama. No fear. No nothing.
I walked upto the stage at this prestigious singing competition and sang the cheesiest romantic song from a popular Bollywood movie then. I remember my brother sitting in the far corner of the school stadium, burying his face, in shame. I could see his friends ridiculing him - "And that dumb ass is your sister?"
I knew nothing. I didnt feel a thing. In fact, if you want to listen to the song I sang, it was this one, right below. Click on it and you will go WTF. And correct, it was the male version that I sang. Because the male one had easier lyrics that I remembered.
Yet, I didnt feel a thing. Also there were so many expectations, I was told later, of the student who sings in the competition. You had to sing a patriotic song I was told to be even considered worthy of winning. Needless to say I didn't win. I remember my cute looking classmate who sang the "Nanna Munna Raayi" song had won second. I wonder if the first was Vandemataram.
Oh screw it. I was overjoyed once I finished. I went straight home that evening, threw my bag and shoes off and ran to my dad to announce how glorious the whole thing was. I told him how people had laughed.
My dad asked me - "Did they applaud?"
To which I said - "No, they just laughed. Why?", peering at him closely as if to ask if that was important..
All he said was - "No. Jealous bitches. You did great" and went back to watching the news on TV.
1 comment:
oh..common.. not everyone laughed. we all secretly hated those same songs being sang over and over again. your song was refreshing. no one but you could have done something like that. take a bow!
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