Movie Recommendation: The Stoneman Murders

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Note: Because Talaash disappoints this week, I am going to recommend a lesser known Bollywood alternative to give you the chills. This one gives you the goosebumps and keeps you on the edge.

IMDB entry: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1183946/

Genre: Crime, Thriller, Suspense

This movie is based on the true life incident of serial killings in Bombay in the early 80's. Interestingly, this was never solved according to police records. The movie director gives his own spin (and conclusion) to this whodunit.

The movie dwells right into the crime in the initial 10 minutes. A pavement dweller is brutally killed (his head smashed by a stone) one night in the Matunga area of Mumbai. A local policeman who has been recently suspended sniffs a serial killing spree but the other policemen wave if off as a random killing on the streets. As suspected, there are numerous killings that follow and establish a pattern - the killings happen between hours of late night and dawn only and is targeted at the pavement dwellers. The suspended policeman thus continues to investigate about the murder, off duty. He sets out to gather evidence and prowls the streets in the night to prevent the killer from harming any more people. But he soon becomes a suspect after police find circumstantial evidence incriminating him. Who is the serial killer and why is he targeting only the pavement dwellers? What is the motive behind the killings? The movie solves these as it approaches the climax.

This movie is bone chilling. The pace is quick and keeps you on the edge. Except for the stray song in a bar, there are no such distracting interruptions in the movie. The underbelly of Mumbai - street dwellers, tramps, bar dancers and the flourishing businesses in the dark add to the mood - most of the movie is dark. There are several times where policeman and the killer run into each other. This makes the movie very racy. The conclusion is believable (backed up by a possible and practical reason for such brutal killings). However, it is not something new - this kind of a conclusion has been seen before in other movies and is rather the only weak point in an otherwise gripping thriller.

What can I say about Kay Kay Menon? As the suspended policeman who tries to solve the mystery, Kay Kay Menon shines and how! He has such formidable acting skills and is convincing as the trigger happy and reclusive cop. Contrastingly, Arbaaz Khan in a smaller role struggles. Rest of the cast does ok. The direction and editing is slick. This movie would have had more impact on a big screen, in fact. 

Overall, a good psychological thriller sure to be enjoyed by thriller movie fans. 

Being generous is ridiculously easy

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"Did you see that?", I ask my friend sullenly. 

"See what?", he shoots back. 

I replay how I just saw an old ailing couple, sitting on a pavement and sharing halves of what looked like an orange. As I recollect, I realize how cold I felt on the shaded street that winter evening. I couldn't help but wonder how tiny rags did any good for the homeless couple on that street.

It doesn't help much to discuss at length about such "obvious" things in India. Things that wrap me in pangs of guilt. Because we speak about them and easily forget. Like every time, I try to push out such gloomy thoughts out of my mind. But there is always a breadcrumb of trailing thoughts that follow me, eventually.

"There is so much I can do. There is so much I can give back. Then why am I not doing that?", I keep questioning myself. The feeling is unsettling at best. But I can easily distract myself through work, books or movies.

The next morning at work, I am vile about a news story that ran last night. I narrate to my co-worker about a group of cops (I think?) who defused couple of bombs in metropolitan Pune this year (with no body protection) and the government gave them 100 rupees (2 US dollars) as a reward, the story reported.

"Why? Why do we (Indians) put cricketers and celebrities on a pedestal and shower them with huge monetary rewards that they apparently don't even need, but we insult such acts of bravery? Why is a human life so cheap in India?". I seethe in anger as I eat my lunch. "I hate how we are so contradictory. And yet here we are eating a big lunch and watching a stupid cricket match.", I mutter under by breath as the match plays over a big LCD in the office cafetaria. (Two people across the table shoot me questioning glances. I was loud enough apparently.)

"You cannot think about everything at once", my lunchmate replies matter-of-factly.

I am furious and he does his best to calm me. We decide to take a walk and talk about it.

"We must do the really tiny things we can.", I say.

He nods in approval. "Did you see how much food is being wasted in the cafe?"

We have a whiteboard where the cafe team puts up the quantity of food wasted everyday. Data that embarrasses me. I again sulk in depression. 

He waves me aside and tells "That's the power of data. Unfortunately, that isn't leveraged to send the right signals to everyone. Do you know how many people are even taking notice of it or pausing to reflect over their food wastage?", he asks. I continue, "To bring out the real problems, we need both - data and insights that evoke a reaction from people." We both nod and sigh in approval.

Charity starts at home, they say. Do your bit, they say. But how many of us really do our bit? Yes, each of us have personal goals, commitments, promises to keep. But is giving back such a big deal at all? I think not.

I am now going to obsess over how much food I am wasting, or how much coffee I leave behind in the cup. This week I have decided to journal this. Yes, I want to quantify this. Yes, I want to be pedantic about this so I can take a stand for myself - That I will never waste food. Maybe I am selfish because am trying avenues to live up to my conscience. So be it. But the repercussions are plenty and unknown to us - for example an article that tries to demystify Why India can't feed its people put me on the edge once again. 

I think everyone knows and agrees that we don't have to be the Bill Gates of charity. We just need to our bit - our own acts of kindness and generosity. Because being generous, it seems to me, is ridiculously easy.

Movie recommendation: Stanley ka Dabba (Stanley's Lunch Box)

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Note: It takes a lot (for me) to like a kid-centric movie. Yes, I am heartless like that. It took me two times and undivided attention to even appreciate Taare Zameen Par. But this one is different. It is a winner from the get go.

IMDB Entry: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1907761/

Genre: Children, Family, Drama

If there is a movie that can connect to you in nostalgic ways, this is it. It brings back your school days. Of trivial fights, innocent friendships, crushes on teachers and the like. Plus, an important message delivered to the audience is the icing on the cake. Every movie story must connect with the audience, emotionally, for the greatest impact. And Stanley ka Dabba has this one in the bag.

Stanley is your average high school kid. He is bright, smart and a favorite among kids and his "Rosy" teacher. His friends share their lunches (tiffin boxes) with him since he doesn't get his own (his excuse is his mother is out of town so there is no one at home to prep his lunch box). Meanwhile a gluttony school teacher who teaches Stanley's class sets eyes on their substantial lunch boxes. Stanley's friends are not too happy about it and evade the teacher by changing their lunch spots everyday. But not too long, as the teacher soon understands that he is being tricked. Out of anger and humiliation he asks Stanley to attend school only when he can bring his own lunch box. Will Stanley get his own lunch box? What is the mystery behind his lunch box? This forms the rest of the story.

Without giving too much away, this is what works for the movie - a suspenseful precedent (why doesn't Stanley get his lunch box?), heartwarming high school moments, subtle digs at Indian teachers who emphasize rote over practical projects (yes, our education system is wrong in so many ways) and a surprising but impactful message at the end of the movie. You come to understand in the end that "dabba" (lunch box) was only used as a metaphor for the greater message it wants to get across.

Incidentally the director, Amole Gupte was also the writer for Taare Zameen Par (a film on dyslexic kids). And no, both movies have no similarities and neither is it a sequel (the kind of assumptions people make, uff!) In fact, he excels much more here with his storytelling that sounds far less preachy and yet has a far reaching message to deliver. A message that will leave you brooding for a couple of minutes after the movie ends. The genius lies in the honest treatment and the powerful climax that ties in with the story beautifully. 

It isn't every other day that you come across honest cinema with a good message. Sometimes I wonder why Bollywood movie folks are spending boat loads of money on insubstantial, brain-dead and purposeless stories when they could easily make a dozen such meaningful movies. Stanley ka Dabba proves that cinema can be both honest and entertaining at the same time. And for that you owe yourself (and your family) to watch it.

Plus heartstrings will be strummed. Guaranteed.

Flawbulous

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Yeah, I know. I just made up that word. Fits right in with the culture of "wannabes" we experience today. This is one of those days and without wasting any more time, I rant. 

This world can be seen as two sides of a coin. The two sides make up what I call - "Lazy is too much lazy and achievement is too less achievement". Lets decrypt the achievement side of the coin first. Because you know, it is easier to be bloody jealous of achievers. Haha. 

Day in and day out, I see countless kids in India getting pressured into stuff in the name of achievement. Because you know if you aren't a topper in the class, a world class sportsperson, eat the right food and dress the right way, you don't belong. Reminds me of this Chinese parent taunting his own kid on an ice skating rink, one cold winter evening. He kept snapping at his kid -  "You go right back and don't bother returning if you haven't done your routine X times". While, I am, you know struggling to keep it together on the rink and taking frequent "breaks". I can't believe what I am seeing and I am thinking - "Whatever happened to loosening up? Jeez!"

Anyway, so I know I don't belong in the land of overachievers. I was pretty average in grad school and didn't care much then. And then boom, I graduate and I am holding to a job. I am constantly bumping into smart kids at work. That leads me to think that there is no escaping this phenomenon. So I can imagine how pressured kids must feel in this godforsaken generation.

But there is so much evidence that all this pressure is leading nowhere. Atleast if you are taking all this pressure to your head. Which is what the majority do anyway. So a like-minded co-worker and I are comparing notes on all the toppers in our school. I mean really all that exam stress, tears and avoiding friends and experiences for what? For a drab corporate job? Thank God for Software Engineering, we tell each other. It is a great equalizer. We can't talk for other professions. But here, you are what you do. Not your school accolades and other pressure cooker stuff like that. 

But try explaining that to parents. *Crickets chirping*

Ok. So now that we have established (I think) that overachievement is leading to nowhere but the same corporate job (yes, you overachieving people you heard that right. Sorry to break your heart), we can move on to our other opposite side of the coin.

The favorite lazy world beset with oodles of boredom and idleness. Because you know, Einstein said a lot of these things like - "The monotony of a quiet life simulates the creative mind". And who are we to question a great mind like Einstein no?

So we are wallowing around in the cozy nest of laziness. Showing up in bursts and trying to meet deadlines. Other times we are just switching between watching reality TV and spraying graffitis all over social media on how excited we are about reading a book (that was probably the only book we read in the entire year). Einstein didn't mean this I am sure. Theory of relativity wouldn't exactly come out of just another lazy day. Yeah, I know acknowledging that is sort of unsettling. But it is the sad truth.

For once, either sides of the coin are taking us nowhere. In fact even all that charade about passion and following your passion is becoming a painful cliche these days. It is only adding fuel to all that confusion. The single most common sense (but not so common) answer arises. The problem is we never ever acknowledge our flaws or our vulnerabilities. 

You almost always never hear people say - "Oh yeah, I am fat. Check." or "Oh yeah, I am average. Check." You almost always hear people say - "Oh no, I am fat. I must die." or "Oh no, I am average. I am a failure."

Shame, you see, is the single most determining factor in our lives. And this is overpowering our abilities to make a dent in our worlds. Instead, we want to patronize those who we think are perfect. 

Perfect people are those who have embraced their flaws. Perfect people are not perfect, they are flawbulous. This is the only revealing fact we need to practice in our lives. This is the same trick Lady Gaga used when she posted her non-photoshopped pictures on the Web. This sounds like an anti-climax. But this is our only redeeming factor - for all those years of lives wasted, being ashamed, terrified and panicked about our flaws. 

In the end, there is only one way that coin can fall. Into the garbage, where it belongs. 

A Middle Class Indian's Dreams and Beyond

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Stranded at a traffic intersection in India, waiting for the traffic lights to change, strangely gives you a small window of time. Time when you are not peering at your phone. It is eerily relaxing. Until your gaze follows to the roadside troop of hawkers, beggers and homeless children. As they go about their business with the agility of a superhero, you cannot help but wonder what happens after the day ends. Where do these people go? What kind of lives do they live? 

For some reason, Indians are desensitized to the poor in a way that is very complicated to explain to outsiders. The truth is the middle class Indians perceive this in a different way - a kind of fear internalized inside them as they grew up - that they could end in poverty just like the infinite homeless on the roads. A fear that drives their dreams of a home, car, bank balance and a well paid job, that it makes them look at the poor in disgust and fear. And India has probably one of the fastest growing middle class population in the world.

Over the last couple of decades, the baseline expectations of middle class Indian parents have been roughly the same - a good college education, marriage at the "right" age, a job in a multinational company, a decent home for living and a healthy retirement plan. The path has been set in stone, from the time of birth till retirement. This kind of thinking is not new even in countries other than India. This is how the middle class milieu functions.

However, India thrives on a different tangent. A co-worker recently suggested how India is not truly democratic, secular, socialist or republic. We are a heady mix - a little of everything. Our policies and decisions are driven by an indecisiveness and our inability to take a stand. And that is a dangerous place to be in. Unfortunately, the middle class India survives unaware of the repercussions of such a dangerous phenomenon.

Take for instance a recent trend in the cities - the dream of living in a gated community. Billboards across the cities splashed with adverts of a high rise sanctuary, conveniences that rival those of the Western world - large pools, tennis courts, retail stores, 24/7 alarm systems and surveillance - the promise of an America within India. 

"You wont even have to step out to buy groceries. They will deliver them to your door. We are also building mini movie halls and nightclubs for your private parties", said a building contractor to me once, trying to sell a high-rise apartment.

"But this place has the most acute water problem", I said in reply.

"That is everywhere madam", he replied almost instantly.

In that one instant, it all came back to me with amazing clarity. No matter how much money a middle class Indian makes, we are still very much a part of India that is plagued by power outages, water scarcity, deep-rooted corruption and a serious lack of security for women. You cannot avoid the filth and chaos of India by secluding yourself in a high rise building and working out of air-conditioned luxury cars or offices. These things will come back to bite you sooner or later. And you will not even know what hit you.

Like I said, this is a dangerous place to be in. This is a bubble of a different kind. Not recession, not technology bubble. But a bubble of inequality, ignorance and indifference that will pull us all in the path of a storm that threatens to destroy the pseudo Indian economy we are building. No amount of high quality graduates, high rise buildings or FDI boom is going to save us from this impending destruction.

We have forgotten what it is to be middle class. Middle class of the 60's and 70's was not just raising the income levels of families through hardwork. It was about hardwork with honesty, integrity and self-respect that no longer exists in modern day India. We used to live a life of values and cherish our sense of community and togetherness. If our neighbor's house was attacked, we stood up and said "No this is wrong and we will fight together". Now we don't even know our neighbors.

We now take pride in doing "wrong things" - like littering the street, driving arrogantly on roads, treating women like secondary people - and giving an excuse that "Why do we care when others don't?"

The problem lies in the way we have contorted our traditional values and culture. 

If a woman wears a Western outfit, you brand her as a "slut". You say India is conservative and this is not "allowed" in Indian culture. But when the same woman is assaulted, it is her fault. Now imagine that woman was from your family. How does it change your perception now? Of what use are the great Indian values if you have forgotten to treat your own people with respect?

The problem lies in our infinite tolerance to everything and our negative digs at people who do the right thing.

Parents and teachers now teach you to do the "silent" thing. To pull yourself away from epicenter of problems. If it is not a problem that concerns you directly, you have no business getting involved. If you do, you will be victimized and demoralized by the very people who taught you to be "silent". 

The problem lies in looking only at the big picture.

How many times have you heard the "common man" in India say - "Nothing is going to happen to this country. Our government is the most corrupt and our economy is dying". Now count how many times you have failed to do your job as a citizen? How many times did you toss that cigarette or paper or coke tin on the road? How many times did you fail to cast your vote? How many times did you manipulate your tax returns? How many times did you bribe your way through things that probably could be done the right way? How many times have you parked in a no-parking zone? We look at problems at the high level and fail to understand how little problems like these amass to become such big problems.

The solution does not lie in ranting about things in social media. We need to go back to basics, to our roots. About things that were written in our holy scriptures. About doing your duty, the right way. About treating people with respect and fighting tooth and nail for your community. About teaching your children the right values. About calling a spade a spade.

Forget the government, forget the local goons, forget the trash, corruption, crime, scandals. Own your roots, the true middle class way. And make a difference. This is going to take generations to make a real dent in the top. But forget even that. Your goal right now should be to do "the right thing", in whatever ways you can. Declare war on things you know you can set right.

Patriotism is not about celebrating a World Cup win or a war with Pakistan, it is about owning our civic responsibilities every single day. Anyone who is not doing his job is your enemy and is a threat to your community.

If you are overwhelmed by the gravity of this all - think about it. As a middle class Indian, we have always had hoops to jump. If we can navigate through a tedious process of acquiring higher education, arranged marriage, preparing and winning coveted jobs, getting a drivers license, taking house loans and making our way through the US visa process etc., why can't we do this?

There is only one thing standing in our way i.e failing to live by the values we have been taught. As the fastest growing population of young and smart minded people, we are frighteningly clueless when it comes to "core values" - the only thing that can and will make a difference to what happens in this country. 

Movie recommendation: Teen Deewarein (Three Walls)

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Note: I had no expectations of this movie. In fact, I wanted to catch a bit of Hyderabad Blues today. I was surprised that Teen Deewarein was the only movie of Nagesh Kukunoor's that I haven't watched. So I gave it a shot. And boy was I surprised!

IMDB Entry: Teen Deewarein (Three Walls)

Genre: Crime, Suspense, Drama

I love watching experimental cinema. I like to give myself a break from the usual, predictable Bollywood plots. That's when I lookout for some offbeat movies like this one. Of course, the more non-Bollywood it is, the more patience you need. Sometimes these movies don't end well and you are left with a bitter taste. This movie is definitely not one of those. The plot is unfolded slowly but it all ties in well and makes sense in a revealing climax.

This is a story of three prisoners facing a death sentence and a filmmaker (Juhi Chawla) who wants to shoot a documentary of their lives in the prison. Each of them have murdered a woman in their life. As Juhi gains trust of each of these men, their stories unfold and give us a perspective of their circumstances. Since all of the movie is inside a prison, you get a glimpse of what goes on in an Indian prison. What happens inside the prison and how Juhi turns around their lives forms the rest of the story.

Jackie Shroff, Naseeruddin Shah and Nagesh Kukunoor play the three prisoners and fit into their roles perfectly. Naseeruddin Shah gets the meatiest role - he plays a small time crook who is also a smooth talker and has escaped several prisons before. Jackie doesn't get much footage, but he is good in the limited role he has. Nagesh Kukunoor is a natural when it comes to playing a Hyderabadi, so this was an easy part for him. Juhi is a revelation! I have never thought of her as a "serious" actress - she was wasted in far too many ridiculous roles in her career and wish she did more of such roles. Because she is indeed a fine actress. The first 30 minutes of the movie runs at a slow pace. It continues in the same pace, but characters and events are blended well in the rest of the movie that you forget the pace after some time.

To a careful viewer, you will get subtle hints throughout the movie on what might happen later. Although the end isn't shocking, it wasn't predictable either. The twist at the end neatly ties in with the the story - i.e nothing in the movie happens without a reason. The fresh take at storytelling surprised me. Definitely a few shades of Tarantino style screenplay - with crime scenes switched in and out as the prisoners open up to Juhi; like pieces of a puzzle fitting together. The dialogues have been written in a mix of Hindi, English and Hyderabadi slangs to give authenticity to the characters - which I liked. Jackie's poetry on life and prison remind me of Red's narration in The Shawshank Redemption. 

There are a few scenes that can be hard to watch for an average Indian cinema lover. And definitely not recommended for family watching. The movie runs like a short film (under 2 hours duration) and this keeps the movie on track without swaying too much away from the main plot. i.e it fits in subjects like adultery, domestic abuse, prison hardships, love and betrayal etc.

This movie might not be a Shawshank Redemption in terms of impact, but it definitely proves that there are so many talented directors in Bollywood who can tell a story and an original one at that. A must watch if you are willing to take a break from Bollywood masala movies.

Movie Recommendation: Manorama Six Feet Under

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Note: I love mystery thrillers! Of late, very few movies in Bollywood are of this genre. The latest I have liked was Kahaani. So imagine my surprise when I bump into one of those lesser known, offbeat thrillers in Bollywood. What a treat!

IMDB Entry: Manorama Six Feet Under

Genre: Mystery, Suspense, Thriller

Firstly, I would like to say, if you are expecting too much action, big star cast and some Bollywood style melodrama and production values, you might as well stay clear of this movie. Although I do consider Abhay Deol as not only a big star but a seal of approval for offbeat movies (going by his track record of Dev D, Oye Lucky Lucky Oye, Ek Chaalis ki Last Local...). So if you are willing to consider an offbeat, suspense movie in a rustic setting, look no more. This is one of those niche movies.

The movie takes place in a sleepy town of Lakhot, Rajasthan. Abhay Deol plays Satyaveer, a bored middle class resident who works at the local municipality as a Junior Engineer. His wife Nimmi (played by Gul Panag), plays a nagging housewife who loves her TV serials and taunts his husband for the middle class lifestyle. Satyaveer's passion is writing but unfortunately his first book "Manorama" (a detective novel) reminds him of his failure as a writer (the book sells only 200 copies). He is so disappointed by its failure, that he does not own even a single copy of his own book. One day, he is approached by a minister's wife, also called Manorama (played by Sarika) who is suspicious that her husband is having an extra marital affair. She pays him to investigate as a private detective and take pictures of his affair, so she can gather evidence about his adultery. 

What follows is an intriguing plot where Satyaveer gets implicated in a double homicide, suicide of Manorama and a missing girl child from a local orphanage. The rest of the plot is how he connects the dots and solves the mystery.

Abhay Deol, is definitely one of the most underrated actors in Indian film industry. He gives life to the character of Satyaveer - both as a passionate detective and as a disappointed writer and husband. The rural setting of the Rajasthan town works well for the story and gives an authentic feel. The movie is slow at times, but picks up pace in the second half. The movie has plenty of good old fashioned detective thrills to it and also at the same time keeps you guessing - very unpredictable storyline. The movie runs on the stellar performances from Abhay Deol, Gul Panag and the supporting cast. I was surprised to see Nawazuddin Siddiqui in an insignificant role as a local goon - but I guess he got more popular only after Kahaani and Gangs of Wasseypur. He is definitely an actor to watch out for.

This movie is not fast paced so it is not a stylish action thriller and nor is it a modern one at that. It is a simple story with the right amount of creepiness and mystery that will keep you hooked if you are ok with its slackish pace in the first half. But I also think that is one of the reasons that make a mystery movie worth a watch - the slow unfolding of characters and sub-stories that add to the plot make it intriguing and suspenseful. Plus, this movie is set in a small town and going by that it has to be slow and uneventful. As a middle class Indian, I could really connect with some social issues that stand out in the movie - the way your neighbors pry on your privacy, small town corruption, greed and the rich poor inequality.

The movie, it seems is inspired by Roman Polanski's Chinatown (I haven't seen that movie yet), but I really don't care because the storytelling has been adapted perfectly for an Indian setting. This movie is a must-watch for mystery buffs! 

Is literacy rate the answer to everything?

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Not long ago, there was a discussion at work about the direct co-relation of literacy rate with sex ratio in India. The premise being that higher literacy rate meant higher sex ratio (because the literate did not discriminate against female child). This is not true always. In fact, it is opposite in some cases.

For eg: Haryana has been in news for a higher crime rate against women and the declining female sex ratio. The literacy rate in Haryana (76.64%) is higher than my home state of Andhra Pradesh (67.66%) and yet the sex ratio in Haryana (877 females for every 1000 males) is much lesser than Andhra Pradesh's (992 females for every 1000 males).

This data is picked up from India's Census Website and represents the year 2011.

Movie Recommendation: 500 Days of Summer

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Note: You know how when someone asks you during lunch table conversation - "What's your favorite movie?" and you are taken aback. Because you know you have seen so many damn good movies, but cant seem to remember even one, at the time! Well, this one counts as one of my favorite movies...and will remember to mark it so in my memory :)

IMDB Entry: 500 Days of Summer

Genre: Romantic Comedy

This movie is pretty much summed up by its opening lines:

"This is a story of boy meets girl. But you should know up front, this is not a love story."

I will be honest, the first time I saw this movie I didn't think much of it. But the second time I saw, I realized it was cleverly made for a rom-com movie. I have been a rom-com movie fan for a long time. Specially the Nora Ephron kinds. (You know, The Harry Met Sally, Sleepless in Seattle, You've Got Mail types?) The type that leaves you with a warm fuzzy feeling. Of late, I have lost interest in this genre. Because every movie in this genre is a rehash of known rom-com hits. So if you are a man and reading this right now, don't stop reading. Because this movie is nothing like a usual rom-com that focusses only on girls and their fairy tale stories. Yes, it has the "cute" moments, but equal parts of the movie are also focussed on the guy. And here it is the guy who believes in true love, marriage and happy ever after.

Joseph-Gordon Levitt plays Tom, your average guy next door, passing away his time in a greeting card company where he devices corny captions for cards. Although he is an aspiring architect, he is quite comfortable leading his life this way. He strongly believes he will meet his true love someday. The new copier girl, Zooey Deschanel as Summer, arrives and Tom believes she's the one for him. The two start dating.

The movie also follows a very non-linear narrative,  journaling 500 days of their relationship - which I thought was a refreshing way of narrating a story. Because really in life and relationships, all things bittersweet are non-linear. You go through highs and lows, laughs and fights and they are never really coherent. The movie is sprinkled with songs (yes! kinda like Bollywood movies) that gives it a "Glee" like look in parts. But they aren't disruptive and flow well with the narrative. In fact, some of the songs (I never heard of before), became my favorites from this movie.

There are a few elements that work in this movie -  its "close to reality" portrayal of a relationship that starts from the blossoming of love to periods of confusion and fights due to the pair's diametrically opposite views on love. This movie will relate with guys who have gotten their hearts broken and eventually went after their dreams and moved on.

The lead actors share a great chemistry - so believable that at some point in the movie, you really want their relationship to work out. The cinematography is brilliant and well thought out. For example, in one of the songs the color coordination is blue to match Zooey's blue eyes.



All said, in every movie I look for a story and the storytelling. And I think this movie was a good attempt in telling the usual love story in a clever way - heartbreaking and hopeful, just like life. This movie definitely grows on you - I have liked it more the second or the third time I watched. 

And no, I don't think Summer is a b****. What did you think?

iTerm2 + Tmux Integration

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I often "ssh" to remote servers from my Macbook and have found tmux (terminal multiplexer) to be invaluable. This saves me a lot of anxiety about disconnected remote sessions. 

However, I use iTerm2 (replacement for OS X Terminal) and have always wanted for tmux to work within iTerm2. You can read all about the iTerm2 and tmux integration and why this integration helps.

Here are notes on how you can install tmux to work with iTerm2. Assumption is that you have iTerm2 already setup on Mac:

Movie Recommendation: Little Miss Sunshine

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Note: So I ate too much food tonight (read "fried food") and I am still awake and this germ of an idea comes to mind. Why not blog about movies I have seen and liked? You know, like the lesser known ones. So this is my first entry - let's see how far I keep this act going :)

IMDB entry: Little Miss Sunshine
Genre: Drama, Comedy

Image Courtesy: Fan art from fanpop.com

Once in a while I come across movies that I know nothing about and yet the title makes me all judgmental about it. I mean, Little Miss Sunshine. What do you expect? Some sappy, teenage romance or children book adaptation? You will be glad to know this isn't anything like that.

This takes an unexpected theme and weaves an intimate story around a dysfunctional family that comes together for their little daughter 'Olive' who has qualified for a beauty pageant called "Little Miss Sunshine". The family takes a road trip from Albuquerque to California (the venue for the pageant) in a beat-up van, so they can get Olive in time for the finals.

A grandfather addicted to crack and adult magazines, who cusses every time he speaks, an homosexual uncle who has attempted suicide, a father obsessed with an idea for a book on "winning", an overworked mother and a brother who has pledged silence and only communicates in the written word with the family - It cant get more dysfunctional than this. There is a scene in the movie where the van gets pulled over by the cops and the father says - "Everybody pretend to be normal" 



Through the trip, they face many troubles, live through each other's eccentricities; but quickly learn to rely on each other's support to get to the pageant. Olive and family, survive setbacks but are caught unawares when it becomes apparent that a beauty pageant for little girls can be as pretentious as the ones for adults. Will the plain and chubby looking Olive make it in the finals of the beauty contest?

The climax was one of the most unexpected yet delightful endings I could have envisioned for a movie like this. The casting is impeccable. At first look, the characters appear weird, but you start to feel one with them as the movie progresses. To a great extent, the movie signifies how people judge others by their appearance, their tastes, likes and dislikes. Perhaps, that is the reason, the movie mixes in eccentricity in the characters. You might not identify with the characters, but you know each of them has a purpose in the story.

My favorite character in the movie was the brother - Dwayne. He doesn't speak as he has taken a vow of silence until he gets into the Air Force. Towards the end of the movie, he shares a private moment with his uncle and vents out his frustration at the pageant venue -  

You know what? Fuck beauty contests. Life is one fucking beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work... Fuck that. And fuck the Air Force Academy. If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly. You do what you love, and fuck the rest. 

Make no mistake - this not your usual cross country road trip sort of a movie. Nor is it all artsy and unrealistic. It might not even grab your eyeballs in the beginning. You will need to give it time to grow on you. But once you catch the pulse of the movie, it leaves you with a profound feeling on topics so diverse - family, death, dreams, setbacks - you will be craving to see what happens next. 

And no matter what, please don't miss the climax! :)

The No-Regrets Policy

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Sometimes (ok, most of the times) I get up in the morning and jump right into the morning rush. No prayers, no thank you's, no good mornings, no nothing. I am snoozing till the last nano second and then I am jumping out of the bed, right into the shower.

Not good.

The whole concept of a morning ritual struck me odd, for a really long time. My inner voice kept saying - "Really, look at that. All the fools going through an elaborate time in the morning doing stuff, when they could actually catch some precious snooze time." You know inner voice, you were wrong, all the way. The essence behind morning rituals is to look at yourself, reflect and set the pace for the day. I ask you, how many times has it happened that a bad start to the day resulted in a productive rest of the day? Zero, I can bet. Because you didn't set the tone for your day. You didn't speak to your mind and tell "Hey mind, I have done good so far. I am healthy, happy and wise so I thank God and family and friends for all the good things. Today is going to be rocking, as usual."

And then there is this whole "looking back" business. You know, looking back is always a tricky thing. You focus so much on the negatives, the wrong stuff that has happened. If only, that certain something, event or incident didn't happen.

Let me tell you something today. "If only" are the two most dangerous words. Ever.

Because you are looking at yourself in the mirror and saying things like -

"If only, my skin didn't break into pimples all the time."

"If only, I was not fat like this."

"If only, I hadn't splurged like that on food or shopping or whatever last night."

"If only, I had performed good enough to get that promotion at work."

"If only, I knew I was such an idiot then."

"If only, I didn't get into this relationship."

You get the drift. 

The problem with regretting is it continues in an infinite loop. Never ending self-inflicting physical and mental pain, becomes a habit. There are probably a thousand times when I said - "No I am not going to regret and feel self-pity." But you give up fighting and jump right into the regret loop. Because your mind is tuned to that.

Now, how the hell am I supposed to break this loop you ask?

I think, the answer (like everything else), lies in the way we form habits. By habits, I simply mean small changes. Instead of telling "I am not going to regret, why not form some habits that are going to change the regret filled regret behavior?"And that is why this whole brouhaha about morning rituals. Because really the people who are getting up in the morning a little early, and praying and spending time with family and kids or just meditating aren't fools. They are performing, right there, the ritual that breaks the regret loop (perhaps even unintentionally). 

The problem with rushing through your morning is you really give no time for your mind to find and hook onto something that will help you through a possibly nasty day. Then you are jumping from one task to another. You are getting sucked into the vortex of emotions that will make or break your day, without your permission (unbelievable how something else controls your life!). Is that how you want your life to be? Give it up, for some unknown entity to drive it. And then do self-bashing about things you could have achieved. If only?

Of course, looking back itself is not a one stop solution to regret. In fact it can morph into the problem itself. Because either you could look back and tell "Hey, I had a crappy X no. of years so far. What did I achieve?" or tell "Hey, I had the most beautiful X years so far. Beautiful and nasty experiences that have shaped my personality and I am ready for all the challenges"

So looking back is good, only to take you forward. The answer then, lies in habits - like the morning ritual. It sets the tone for your day. Even if it means 5 minutes of waking up early and counting your blessings, do it. Do it every single day. Don't break that chain. Slowly see that turn into a habit - like brushing your teeth or tying your shoe laces. It becomes mechanical and becomes a part of you. If need be, get someone to be your support system - friend, spouse, family, colleague, whoever. Someone who reminds you to get back in line. To keep your regret-free conditioning intact.

Regret is the single most evil thing that has happened to humans. It just gets worser and worser if ignored. I am a victim and I am stage three (no this is not even funny). I am ready to fight this, head on. 

It is astonishing how this whole "escape from stress and regret" thing is a multi billion dollar business. 

No amount of indefinite vacation or a 5 day yoga retreat is going to change your habit of regret. The only change that will make a dent in this is change - slow, consistent and sustainable change. 

You need to say to yourself - "Today is the most important day of my life. And I wont let it pass in regret for something that is already gone by. For some bullshit that you wouldn't even remember a few days from now."

If only I never used the two words - If only. (See I did that again! Regretting like that)

What Japanese anime can teach us

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My first introduction to Japanese anime happened when I visited a friend's place in Monterey. The place was breathtaking and homely at the same time (unlike the parts of California that people usually visit like San Francisco or Los Angeles). During this time, we spent most of our time doing fun little things - taking a stroll by the beach, cooking authentic Mexican dishes, eating Korean seafood rolls, discussing Steinbeck (who was a Monterey resident) and when night came, watching Japanese animation movies on VHS. Yes, VHS! It was very unlikely of me to choose animated movies as an evening watch, leave alone Japanese anime. 

Since I was not too keen, my friend had to trick me into liking anime. I had heard of Naruto and other Manga characters and the cult following it had in the States. But I was never inclined to give it a shot.

She was finding it difficult to choose between Princess Mononoke and Grave of the Fireflies. And then she chose the latter. Although she did warn me that Grave of the Fireflies is unlike most of the other Japanese anime (live action figures, magic castles, witches and spells and such). I, on the other hand, didn't bother since they all felt same to me at that time. And I gave in since her whole family was getting excited to watch the movie that night (apparently they watched it dozens of times already)

Grave of the Fireflies

Now, let me tell you how surprised and moved I was by the end of the movie. Grave of the Fireflies is about a brother and his little sister struggling to live in a World War II struck Japan. It was easily one of the most heartbreaking stories I ever watched. It is not easy to pour in words the kind of feelings it left me with. It took me a week to shake it off (and I am not even exaggerating). I have seen a lot of war movies and blood and gore, but this kind of storytelling was leagues ahead of them all.  Because it gets personal and leaves a deep influence on how you view the world around you. Most of the Hollywood movies, you blink and forget. Don't get me wrong I love Pixar movies, they are brilliant, but Japanese anime elevates stories to a personal level - the amount of soul, depth, authenticity and honesty, that is missing even in Pixar animations.

Since it left on me such a deep impression, my friend (a big fan of Hayao Miyazaki) insisted that I watch rest of his movies after I go back home. She lent me half a dozen DVDs of his movies and I was hooked for life. 

Now, this is the thing about Japanese anime (and in particular Miyazaki's) - it engages you so much through its simple storytelling that you feel one with it. I was pleasantly surprised by how every script subtlely weaves the importance of family and values with the theme of the story. They touch so many diverse topics - about growing up, respecting elders, being polite (even to strangers), not being judgmental, keeping faith, working hard, pursuing your dreams and cherishing life, no matter what.

Nowhere in the story I felt that they were making an effort to teach such important lessons. It just magically left me inspired on so many levels. Sometimes, I wonder if these movies left such an impact on me, then they most definitely should be made mandatory. Specially for children and teenagers who are at such an impressionable age.

Whisper of the Heart

When I watched Whisper of the Heart, for the first time ever, I was left inspired after watching a movie on teen romance! I mean who would have thought that could happen? Teen romance and inspiration - that is possible only in a Miyazaki tale.

Every scene, every moment depicted true to life - the emotions of first day at school to developing a crush on a boy, of friendships and trivial fights, studying for exams, the way the sky looks (and the rainbow) after it has rained, the smell of earth, the sound of crickets on a warm summer night, the way we nurture innocent dreams for our future, the infinite expectations your parents have of you, your journey of self discovery. A million such emotions in a 120 min length feature film is nothing short of awe-inspiring.

Seriously how much of that do you see in Hollywood or Bollywood movies? It is either mindless charade of popularity contests or excessive bullying or fancy product and brand placements and very little emphasis on how kids are sorting through their dreams, their everyday experiences and family relationships. What is with the culture of wannabes and trying to make premature adults out of kids, instead of letting them bloom in their creativity?

Apart from the story, the accompanying artwork and animation leaves me amazed  - it can't get more beautiful than this. Moments so stirring and wonderful, that they leave a lump in my throat. It makes me think why didn't anyone introduce me to these movies, a little earlier in my life? And for that, I am forever indebted to my friend.

The Ugly Truth

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It reminds me of the scene from A Few Good Men where Jack Nicholson is in a court-martial and is asked to tell the truth. And he goes "You can't handle the truth". And continues to deliver a monologue telling why exactly sometimes you have to live with the truth so ugly, that perhaps you are better off living without knowing it.

Last night, I was at a local clinic. The kind you find on a busy Indian street, neatly lined in a row of beauty parlors, neon-lit tiffin centres, medical stores, ATM outlets and the like. The clinic itself was a tiny establishment, with an assistant who was perhaps 70 year old guy himself, skinny to the bone seated on an old bamboo chair that seemed only as strong as the guy. He looked at me bleakly as I enquired, seated on my bike - "Is there a doctor?"

He looked sideways from me and opened his mouth so to speak. He was squinted. He coughed for a good 10 seconds. I fidgeted impatiently on my bike seat. Then he just nodded in reply.

In India you don't take people's word at first go. You always confirm - that's the rule of thumb. So my next impulse was to go inside the clinic and find for myself, if the doctor was around. He was. 

I ask him, without as much as a statutory greeting - "So are you going to be here? Till what time?"

He points at the clock on the cracked wall, a lizard sneaking in from behind. "9:30" he tells me, loudly,  in three languages - English, Hindi, Telugu. As I nod in return and get back to my bike I notice a few men giving me furtive glances. I am dressed in old jeans and a bright turquoise colored T-shirt with a golden print that said "Peace". You almost always get glances like that. Pretty or not, adequately clothed or not. So long as you are a woman, you will be stared at. And you almost always are immune to it.

I just continue to my bike and ride away to appear after a good 30 minutes. This time to see a long line of people in waiting. For a moment, I am infuriated. A third class, "hole in the wall" clinic with a doctor who doesn't even have a pen and pad to write prescriptions, is suddenly in demand. But statistics defy everything here. India's population density will assure every doctor an unending supply of patients looking for treatments from the common cold to body fractures.

I wait indefinitely in the line. Men still staring, but I give them a hard look and they feign looking towards the sky. I look the other way, and can see from the corner of my eye, their stares returning back to me. I mutter a curse or two, under my breath. Just a bit longer and I can go, I assure myself.

And finally, it is my turn. The doctor is now writing prescriptions on post-it notes. In between he gets up and disappears behind an old, strange smelling, floral printed curtain with a patient on the other side who has some kind of bowel problems, lying on the bed and grunting in pain. He comes back to write some antibiotics on the post-it notes. He asks me if I am married. I don't answer and almost open my mouth to say it is none of its business but just nod to say no. I want to just get out of this shit hole, I say to myself again.

He explains in three languages again about the medicines he is writing me. I look at my watch and get restless - I have a remote meeting to attend in an hour and I am not even listening to him at this point. I quickly try to grab the prescription (now a total of 4 post-its) but he looks at me questioningly and says -  "Where is the money, madam?"

I give him a 50 rupee note and head out. After scouting for medicines at 3 drug stores, I grow impatient and give up. Of all the fever antibiotics, he had to write me the least accessible ones, I think to myself.

Medical care is a big business here, like anywhere else in the world. A drug store doesn't just try to sell you drugs. They try to sell you only "certain brand" of drugs made by a "certain" pharmaceutical. So they are often trying to con you to take substitutes from pharma companies that pay them kickbacks for promoting their brand over others. But with all things India, you fight your way through it. Lets just say I had a bad day and wasn't open to any more drama for the day.

Failing to find the drugs, I am even more agitated this time. I rush back to the doctor, with the post-its in my hand, waving them furiously at the doctor's face and question him, grinding my teeth  - "No one carries half the prescriptions you have given me."

The doctor is mid-flight, half of his body behind the curtain and half out. He doesn't appear shocked, while standing firmly in front of a young guy, whose chest is in a pool of blood. That's when I look down and realized I am standing in what seemed to me like someone just spit out red paan on the floor.

That was instead a stream of human blood following the guy on the bed now. I turn now to see two of the young men (the ones who were giving me the stares about half an hour ago), one panicking and talking on the phone to hail an ambulance, while the other trembling, his hands drenched in blood.

My mouth turns dry. The doctor says to me - "One minute madam"

I step out for air, trying to take in what just happened. The 70 year old assistant looks at me quizzingly - "Did you try Vijayalakshmi (drug store)?" I am almost dazed and manage to say "No". He is squinted and tries his best to give me store directions.  I am confused and do my best to follow his gaze.

I turn back and I see "facebook" written on the back of the T-shirt of one of the men - a guy who is barefoot, doesn't carry a phone and doesn't even have enough money to give to the doctor. I hear the doctor console the guy - "Don't worry. Your friend will be OK. I know the doctor at this hospital, he will fix your friend for cheap."

I find my drugs at Vijayalakshmi. I return home with the medicines, check my emails and finish the remote call. And then get back to surfing the Internet.

The incident is now a faint memory. Life goes on. And that my friends is the ugly truth.

The Best of Times, The Worst of Times

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Be forewarned, this is not an easy video to see. I should've heeded to a similar warning from Jeff Atwood (his blog was where I came across this video). You will be left with mixed feelings - anger, grief, despair, helplessness and hours of contemplation about life and the curveballs it throws at us.

Safe to say, we all have had our share of best and the worst times in life. But having to experience them at the same time is not merely paradoxical, but heartbreaking and cruel. And this video showcases one of the greatest examples of human endurance - the courage to keep going, no matter what happens in life and to seek strength from the memories we have of our people.

And things like these makes me question - why do bad things happen to nice people? It makes me angry and sad. It makes me question the faith people have in God. My immediate impulse (like in the video) is to find someone to blame. But at the end of thinking (calmly) through this, only one thing comes to mind. 

That is, to really really cherish your present with people you love. A moment gone, is gone. You can never get that again. And to think that we have a long life to live and family and loved ones can wait is the biggest human folly. Ever.

Eat. Sleep. Rock. Repeat.

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A co-worker of mine once told me, casually over lunch, how she had gone about writing a personal manifesto. I nodded as if I understood and completely agreed. Of course, I had no clue until then. So I made a quick mental note to myself - "Read about this personal manifesto business. Perhaps I should make one of my own."

With that, I went about my day's work, as we all do. Forgetting our daily conversations comes easy to a human brain. But the brain is smarter than that, it stashes such "interesting" bits inside your subconscious mind and then magically retrieves them at a later point. So today when I heard about manifestos and the like in an unrelated chat, I was struck by the feeling of "deja vu".

Maybe it was time to make one. And stick to it. I have found over time that forming habits around your personal manifesto is a sure shot way to lead a happy life.

Courtesy: NYTimes article on Don't Indulge, Be Happy

I wanted my manifesto to be simple. So apart from preparing a "ten part" manifesto I wanted to give it a headline. Sort of like a reminder when times are bad. Something like this:

EAT. SLEEP. ROCK. REPEAT.

Elaborating on the "rock" part gives me this list (in no particular order):

1. Work hard. Nothing comes easy in life.

2. Fall in love, spend time with those you love and never take them for granted.

3. Spend more on experiences. Spend less on material things.

4. Let go. Make a fool of yourself.

5. Keep life simple - if you don't like something, change it.

6. Smile often. Smile genuinely.

7. Be grateful. Never forget those who have helped you.

8. Make time for your favorite physical activity. Your body needs endorphins. It is your way of saying "thank you" to your body.

9. Doing is better than not doing.

10. Believe in yourself. Always carve out some "me time" in your day - to reflect and rejuvenate yourself.

Really hard to stick to the above, but then life happens only once so why not give it a shot :-)

So what's your personal manifesto?

Tubelight ka Chaand

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A little boy called Tubelight and his obsession for the moon (chaand)

This poignant short film explores the dream of one little boy through the underbelly of Kolkata. 

And his dream to capture the moon. Is it possible then to pursue a lofty dream as that? 

This video serves as a great metaphor for "Follow your dreams"

No matter how hard life is, no matter what the obstacles, no matter how people may judge you - make your dream your obsession. 

Because obsession leads to single minded doggedness to pursue your dream and make it happen, no matter what. To dance in its tunes and sing in its praises, no matter what. To love it unconditionally and to want it more than anything, no matter what.

So what if it is the moon that you want? :-)

The Watercooler Gang

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Update: Now I remember where I first heard of this term : the watercooler gang

Are you one of the watercoolies? The kind who congregates near the water cooler in the break room and whines about something wrong at work?

Lets take a deep breath now. Are you done yet? Good. Now please nod your head in approval when I ask you the same question, again - "Are you or were you at sometime a watercoolie?" 

I see you just pursed your lips but slightly angled your head. Yeah, that's a good enough cue for a nod of approval. 

The thing about office whining is, it is seemingly innocuous, harmless as a fig we assume. The problem is, it just sort of becomes a habit in the long run. I have seen several people do this at one of my previous jobs. Not surprisingly, it is very off-putting and toxic. Because suddenly, even if a moment ago you weren't concerned about the topic of interest, you are now spending precious brain fuel on most probably something silly. Truth is negative people zap your energy. And more the watercooler talk the worser it gets.  It just never ends. There is no finish line to your laundry list of complaints.

Who would have thought a watercooler had so much power to dominate our thoughts, eh? It is the holy grail of friction and negativity at work.

Now now, I am not proposing that you make peace with every wrong thing at work. All I am saying is to wear some rose tinted glasses instead of blinders that obstruct your capacity to distinguish the right and the wrong. Because tinted glasses still allow you to see the visibly wrong things in your face. It is the far off, distant and trivial things that it seeks to hide. Point is, you decide for yourself if the trivial (negative) stuff matters to you at all. 

(For example) So what if someone just crushed a million people to make it to the top? That doesn't mean you go around bad mouthing or throwing a fit about it. Truth is if you don't agree to that sort of "work ethic", then you don't and you move on. But going on a crusade against that is going to do more harm to you than the concerned "tyrant" you are whining about.

Your individual happiness and sanity matters above all. If you have a serious problem with something, you deal with it. If the problem isn't in your control and it is purely circumstantial, you detach yourself from it, as quickly as you can. There is no point gathering a group of followers to just whine and lament about stuff all day, every day of the year. The watercooler group is not a support group, it is an energy zapping group. Your support is elsewhere - your confidante (your family, spouse, close friend or co-worker)

Unlike in math, two negatives don't make a positive. They just multiply instead. They snowball into one of the biggest distractions and frustrations of your life, unintentionally. So the next time you find a similar sight of the watercooler gang, avoid them. Best to partake of the water and zip right by them.

If life gives you cupcakes, you don't complain about the (invisible and unknown) tiered cake. You just eat the damn cupcakes, grin ear to ear and hum a song. 

No Soup for You

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If you are not from the Seinfeld generation, then a short reference here before we continue:

So the point, in short is, kindness is becoming way underrated in today's society. It is almost as if everyone in this world read the Steve Jobs biography and said to themselves - "Yes I could be an a*****, no problem!" Jobs just made the whole "being a jerk" thing classy and fashionable. Thanks Steve! Now I pray that belief doesn't spread more after they release the Ashton Kutcher movie. 

But let me tell you again, be kind. Not like excessively kind - flashing your eye lashes at everything, clapping your hands in glee and beaming with a smile, all in the name of fake enthusiasm. Good lord, no! I mean like the kind your grandmother probably taught you to be, when she read those bedtime stories to you. A noble king who cares for his kingdom and people, polite and sensitive to people's needs and appreciative of their hard work in general. Remember?

In an earlier blog, I happened to mention a short, witty anecdote from Colin Powell's life that showcases the importance of kindness in leadership. (Just in case, you think I am being funny, I am not. This is of primetime importance.)

Ok, so to really give you the lowdown behind this rant, it is this - I walked into the gym today and found people making a shit of the place. Weights thrown away on the floor like it was a playground, dirty towels and used paper cups in random spots, mats in semi-folded state, sweaty equipment after use and wait for it (and this is when the time bomb in me ticked) - a guy signals and yells to the gym operator - "Volume". He meant he wanted the audio system volume a notch up. 

Are you for real dude? I mean, I am ok with the lack of gym etiquette but the yelling and impoliteness fills me with rage. You actually had to instead say - "Can you please turn up the volume?"

Simple, right? But you chose to yell across the gym floor to a far off seated receptionist in an arrogant tone. For once, let me tell you she's an employee and she gets paid to do her job - not to serve your (arrogantly aired) grievances. She might as well have yelled back "Screw you", you know? Just saying.

And then of course there are people who will think to themselves - "The man is arrogant. He needs to learn a bit about manners. But that's probably none of my business."

Confession time - been there, seen that, done that. Not a very happy memory. But now, I don't do that anymore. It is as much my job to care as the day job I am paid to do. Actually it all circles back to you in the end. It's called karma. And karma is a bitch.

So next time, someone says or does something rude, please stop them and tell them that a little kindness goes a long way. Now since I just heard one of you say "Chill, take it easy", I will leave you with a really nice Harvard Business Review article aptly titled It is important to be kind than clever. No, they are not kidding when they dedicate an article on kindness. And yes, this article should be made mandatory reading at high school and upwards. Not just because it a business opportunity but it is the backbone of the human fabric. 

And I mean it when I say a lot of today's problems in society is because people have forgotten to be kind. Atleast, that's how it seems to be in my home country where we are excellent in churning out high skilled graduates but "forget" to teach them the core values. I mean of what use is cleverness if there is no kindness?

That brings me to another inspiring (and unconventional, because who speaks of kindness these days?) commencement speech by Jeff Bezos on the lessons of kindness. Ok now, that was enough reading/viewing material on kindness for the day. But I hopefully got the point across. Cross my heart and hope to die :-)

Moms are crazy

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Mothers are all slightly insane  - J. D. Salinger

After today I would never hire my mom to put my shoe laces together. Like never, ever. She just took the one end of it and pulled it all the way through all the lace holes. Like she was knitting from one end to another end. No criss-crossing, no symmetry of things, no nothing. That cost me a precious 15 mins of gym time.

I know what you are thinking right now. Before you get all sensitive about it, let me remind you how many corny jokes you crack on Rajinikanth. And still you love and respect him no? Admit it. Now it doesn't sound that much bad eh?

I still love my mom. But shoe laces...nothing doing.

Ok perhaps, that shoe lace fiasco was partly my fault. I happened to finish a half-marathon recently (bragging rights in your face!) and the last leg of 7 kms was in heavy rains. In the typical lazy fashion, I just set the shoes aside after the race and assumed it would all be ok. The next day, I wear the same pair to gym and the guy at the farthest corner of the gym gives me looks. Yes, they stinked like I left some dead rat in them. Once back home I casually mention how dirty they were and they have to be left up to dry and all.

Lo and behold, the next day, I have them all dry, shiny and smelling like perfumed. Also found two naphthalene balls in each of them. Moms and their infinite capacity for unconditional love never cease to surprise me. Soul-stirring stuff, if you ask me.

But then she had to do the shoe laces all wrong and "unimpress" me. Haha.

Like the day when she silently gulped down the last can of Red Bull in the fridge and spent the rest of the night watching countless hours of TV as a result. And left me seething - I was counting on the Red Bull to keep me awake to meet an important deadline. Of course, then we made truce and bonded over a cup of South Indian filter coffee. For the record, she assumed Red Bull was some kind of "cool drink" that tasted like Benadryl, but she was too thirsty and hot and didn't mind the pungent taste. Her verdict - "It was better than Pepsi." Ouch!

And then there are times when she throws curveballs at me, like these -

"I thought they would show a tiger in Ek Tha Tiger." (Touché, mom, Touché.)

"The banana stand guy has become friends with me. He gave me a dozen bananas for less today."

"I heard Priyanka Chopra is dating ShahRukh Khan now. But he is married no? What kandravi (word in Tamil that means ugly)"

"How to download Kolaveri Di song from WWW?" (She always refers to Internet as www - world wide web as if that is some championship like WWF)

"You mean they give free Marie biscuits at your office? Can you get one for me?" (Why do moms get excited about the small stuff? Why?)

"Neighbor aunty told me that her son bought a new car. I told them my daughter works in America." (Umm what?!)

"Why did you pay 750 rupees to run? What will happen if you run without paying? You are running on the road only no?" (When I told her about my half marathon)

"Kannu Paturdu (somebody cast an evil eye on you)" (When I fell sick one day and asked her if she had a fever tablet)

Moms are like that - crazy and lovely. Hence proved.