Kalle F Blomkvist

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If you are like me, you would have laughed out loud at this piece I read in the New Yorker today by Nora Ephron (yep its her, the lady who made those all time fave rom coms...recently, Julie & Julia):
The Girl Who Fixed The Umlaut

Of course, I am assuming given the hype, you would have gone on a crusade to read Steig Larsson's Millennium Trilogy. Darn it, I always mix the i and e in his name :/

Of course I am not going to bid adieu without a not-so-funny-as-unusual conversation with a Doc today. (And no, its not the cast of Grey's Anatomy. In real life, docs don't look so mind-numbingly handsome)

Doc: So what do we have here?
Me: Cold
Doc: And?
Me: After the and, is for you to figure. (Smug smile)
Doc: (Unimpressed or maybe he didn't hear me?;)) I will need to take your vitals. But first, since when were you sick?
Me: Saturday
Doc: blah blah
Me: blah blah
Doc: Alright, lets look inside.
Me: What?????????
Doc: ..inside your nostrils and ears
Me: They do that?
Doc: How long has it been since you visited a doc?
Me: For common cold? Never.
Doc: I see. Lets look now..
(Pause)
Doc: Umm..
(The next question got my cheeks flushing out of embarrassment)
Doc: Do you ever clean your ears?
Me: (With a game face) Not as promptly as I brush my teeth. (Smile)
Doc: (Oblivious to the humor. Poor guy needs to learn to smile, I thought.) Looks like there is a ton of wax up there.
Me: (Wax. Is that the charming name they give it? I fought the urge to say "My dad said why clean when it will fall out of your ears, eventually). Is that bad?
Doc: I will give you some ear drops, should clear it out.
Me: (And there I thought he is going to give me medicine for the cold) What abt the cold?
Doc: (Slightly annoyed by the obviously untimely smart ass question) Ya that too. I will give you mucinex.
Me: (Nod my head excitedly like I knew what Mucinex was)
Doc: Also do you smoke, drink alcohol etc.?
Me: Smoke no. Alcohol 10%...comes with Nyquil.
Doc: (Smiles)

There you go. You just learnt to smile doc. Sweet.

I go back to my desk and my co-worker goes:
"Oh he gave you Mucinex? That works. Hell yeah."

Me: Ok..great.
Co-worker: Don't tell me you never heard of it?
Me: (Shrugs)
Co-worker: Oh you didn't?! Stop it. The famous commercial where the Mucus family settles down your system with all their luggage and they are splashing mucus like its wall paint?
Me: Haha, no.
Co-worker: I am the biggest baddest Mucus.
Me: LOL, will youtube it.

About Blank

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There is something incredibly therapeutic about writing.

As a kid, I enjoyed writing down even smallest of my muses, worries or joys in a book. As I grew, I also grew out of this habit. I wish now I had never grown out of it. Thanks to twitter, facebook and a million other distractions on the Internet.

Life has become phoniest ever. Log onto facebook and you see someone has got a car, or has a spouse or touts their new iphone. People call each other "hun" or go "awwww" over silliest of things. Not that any of it is my business. Just saying. (Hey its my blog remember?). All I am saying is people have lost the excitement in the simplest of joys and have a continuous need to advertise their concerns over the Internet. Why do I care if you are bored? Seriously, get an activity. And if you have so much time to spare, go out and do some good.

I am not sure what's even prompting me to write this note. I just feel like it tonight. I miss the charm of the 90's I guess (my favorite topic eh?). I miss all those silly things we used to love. That TV program or that cool "bicycle" the neighbor kid had or the love for collecting marbles (or WWF cards as the case may be:)). I miss being with elderly people and listening to their wisdom. I miss throwing a fit when mom made "healthy-but-not-appealing" meals. I miss taking those long walks in the morning without having to worry about the long day ahead. I miss that joy of getting lost in a book, imagining the characters come to life as I flipped through the pages. I miss climbing trees. I miss playing gully cricket for long hours with tennis balls and make shift bats. I miss sneaking in and out of the kitchen waiting for that favorite dish to get done. I miss wearing a b'day dress! B'days were so so special..

I miss those rainy days when I came back home to hot tea, snacks and the promise of a long cheerful talk with dad on the porch. I miss waiting for the Sunday newspaper and challenging myself to a crossword puzzle. I miss chasing the frogs from the backyard of my house to the dirty pond. I miss caressing those new born kittens (cats never seemed to stop reproducing. lol). I miss sleeping on the terrace on hot summer nights and counting the stars and singing songs till I fell asleep. I miss beating dad in chess, carroms, table tennis while he secretly gave in to only see me happy. I miss getting excited about watching a movie on the big screen. I miss sitting on the kitchen counter and cleaning and marinating meat.

I could go on forever. But since it is year 2010, I gotta stop.

Why is it..

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..that the moment we are happy abt something, we fear it will be jinxed by some horrible sad news?
..that when you don't have your dear ones around you miss them more?
..that you think God is targeting only you with troubles and you go 'Why God? Why me?'
..that there is no end to our wish list?
..that a word of appreciation or compliment gives you instant gratification as opposed to none?
..that I stopped doing work and started blogging this foolish post and you stopped doing what you were doing to read this post?;)

Unwanted egos

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As if you guys didn't have enough of my rant posts. Hmmm.

But seriously, the one thing that PISSES ME OFF (yes, in caps) is kids treating their parents like scumbags. I mean cmon, give me a freaking break. You don't have to move mountains for them. Just be HUMAN.

So I came across this old Indian lady accompanied by her daughter (assuming shes her daughter). She mistook a bread packet of mine to be hers and grabbed at it hard from the cashier's hands. Now you know how impatient and cranky these grocery store cashiers are. She just shot back a cold stare at the old lady. Ok, we all have our frustrations at work and all the drama that makes us go crazy. So I could comprehend her reaction. But the daughter here goes shooting around abuses at the lady for this one. I got so pissed off at this point that I was like Really? Next time get your own bread. Bitch.

I see SO many old Indian couples here in the US. Kids send them off to do the dirty laundry to grocery to dropping kids off at school. So really, is that why you morons bring your parents here? To do your chores?

In other news, (yes I am not done yet) what is with bloated egoistic IITians and Ivy League guys. I mean seriously give me a effing break. Are your egos a way to vent out the high tuition you paid at school? Save the attitude please. Good luck to your spouses though. I sympathize with them. The next time someone gives me shit, I have made up my mind to flaunt my credentials too..Some people just need a taste of their own medicine.

And please whoever the hell you are, treat your parents well. That's the least you can do in your already rotten lives.

Little things that make me happy

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So I cooked a bowl of oats over the stove top without burning any of the milk or the oats..how super achieving and satisfying is that..eh? LOL.

Or that whole grain bread I got off a sale for just 2$ got me to clap my hands and skirt up and down like a kid..haha.

Wait a sec. Just when you are about to go "here she goes talking abt food", I have some other little things to share..that aren't food. I signed up for a community service event that I badly want to get into. Of course, I wont tell you its centered around music, entertainment, ice cream and emcee-ing. Yay yay. Oh I just told you that now. What a showoff. Haha.

I also get to canoe in the Hudson this May for free!! If everything goes well that is..lol. Talk about counting the eggs before they hatch.

I also have that teeny-weeny marathon (or more like a race) to finish this June. And its but obvious that I haven't started training for it, as seriously. Sigh. No, actually strike that out of the list. Not happy about the training part. lol.

Btw me and a friend and friends of the friend and their friends (why do I get so exasperating!!) have embarked on what we would like to call a 50 book challenge. Not sure if that interests you. You might want to occasionally visit the blog to find titles that you never heard of?:) A bunch of us blog on what we are reading and whats up for future reading. A book club, sort of. Just makes it easy to look up recommended reads from each other's list.

So if you carefully read through my list (ya right!), you might have successfully analyzed by now that none of the above things have anything to do with my work life, relationships or any such thing. Ahem. That's what I call - Selfissssssssh!! And I am lovin' it.:)

I wanna be in the 90's

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This thought loomed large when I was dipping these sweet little things called Parle G biscuits into piping hot tea this afternoon. Oh damn I just lost the crunch I thought. Mental note to myself: Dip the biscuit for less than a sec than you can enjoy it with the crunch.

See now I am blabbing! Sigh..

So I sat down to do the old fashioned stuff today. Reading a fat book armed with tea and biscuits. Nice. I am at peace. Then my thoughts go back and forth on the 90's. Then I start cussing. (You know where this is going. Another bout of ranting...) Why did this Internet happen? Like for instance, online friends. Who would have thought of that in the 90's right? haha. Imagine a girl friend of mine in pig tails telling me...Hey met this totally awesome guy on Facebook. I cant imagine how badly that could have destroyed the 90's charm. Where we simply exchanged love letters (or messengered them in my case) as teens.

And what about those TV shows we would wait the entire week for. what was that detective thingy..Byomkesh Bakshi? Man, I was like addicted to it like people addicted to weed. If I didnt see it every Wed night (see, I even remember which weekday they used to play that thing!), I would go all upset. That would happen when the power would go out. Good old 90's. If the power went out during your favorite TV show time, you would swear and curse (Yes, I was into such things even in the 90's. Even kids like that stuff, all you parents..if you are reading my blog. haha).
But if the power went out when you are supposed to be doing homework, it gives you an excuse to play antakshari on the terrace with your siblings or friends or whoever you hanged out with. It didnt matter. It was antakshari time. Even among mosquito bites on a hot summer night on the terrace.

Just yesterday A was talking something about a cool business idea when I shoot at him out of the blue.

Me: Do you like a terrace?
A: Err..yes.
Me: Me too
A: (Not sure why I changed the topic. But he plays along. Good old A.) So you used to sleep on the terraces those days?
Me: Absolutely! We would pick up a bucket of water an hour before our sojourn and water the terrace.
After it cools down we would spread the sheets. Watch stars. Play antakshari.
A: Haha. Same here.
Me: (Going into 'rant' mode) But obviously stupid USA doesnt have that privilege. Hell, I dont even get a decent
ventilation in my apartment. I am all choking in this...
A: (Cuts me off. He sees where I am going with this. He has learnt the hard way. lol) Yeah yeah. But did you like the mosquito bites then?
Me: (Sigh! He just knows how to pull the plug. Doesnt he?) Yeah. Hmmm.
A: Haha. But it was so much fun.
Me: (springing back..) SO SO much!! (I clench my teeth with the delight of a kid who just got a free cookie)
A: And the hide and seek days??? Chor police?
Me: aaaah...blisss!!!
A: Now do you think we can install this on a Windows machine. VMware or virtual box? (Obviously continuining the conversation where we broke off.)
Me: Sigh...


Now you see what I mean? If we were still in the 90's we wouldnt have such a thing as Virtual Machines or installations or any such jazz. It would just be you, me and a hearty conversation or antakshari over tea. I need a time machine now..anyone?

PS: I am powerless when it comes to constant references to my ranting and being so overly judgemental about myself. But you should have understood by now that the blog always carries impressions of my self analysis. Although annoying, would you please be so much of a kind soul so as to ignore them for the purposes of your own sanity? Thank you :)

Truth be told..

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I don't really talk through the serious stuff on this blog. (You might have noticed that already). But when I see people ripping off a common man's money I simply got to spread the word against evil.

To cut the long story short, I attended one of the so-called free Rich Dad Poor Dad seminars. In the middle of a rain. Costing me a precious 3 hours and giving me a massive headache in the end. Now I wonder this: Why isn't common sense common? Every single person listening to the seminar bought the idea that one could make money by working for as less as 3 hours per week. REALLY?? Wow! Robert Kiyosaki, tell me if that worked for you. Now I leave for the people with common sense (which isn't as common I figured by now) to decide what's the answer to that. Plus, Mr. Kiyosaki and the mafia behind this whole Rich Dad academy, a message from the common man - We are living in a world powered by information sharing. Remember the power called GOOGLE? Yeah, that's right. We just look up for information there and believe in sharing it for free. We believe in making it viral. By free, we truly mean free. And not a free seminar where the speaker reminds you every 5 mins to sign up for the 500$ class that will teach me to become a millionaire. I wonder what Warren Buffett has to say about the 3 hour work week path to becoming a millionaire.

Few rants and few laughs..

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I somehow feel hype is a shortened version of hypocrisy, ha! Anyway, whats with all the raving about My Name is Khan. Shahrukh? So everyone wants to appreciate Karan Johar because of his sincere efforts. But of course on the other hand some aspiring new director trying to sincerely make a movie on a distinguished topic will be panned! Anyhow, the movie didn't touch a chord with me and I am just astonished at how people are loving the movie. The movie would have been way better if not for some over dramatic scenes (everybody gangs up at that Georgia place from nowhere...what was that? )

Anyway, you can see this post is becoming too much of a rant so I will stop here. Of course, I will agree I am biased. I cant take any more of Shahrukh on screen anymore. LOL. Whatever!

In other news, what's with people who don't smile or greet in the morning. Why God why? Didn't you teach them how to laugh? This is probably the millionth time I am ranting about them. It just ruins my day you know. The least you could do is acknowledge a greeting (instead of staring blankly in space. Ya, I have got that like so many times and no, am not like drop dead gorgeous or something.) Btw, I did my honorable contribution to humor moments today. (Yes God I need to balance out the morons who cant laugh to save their lives.) I was wearing this shiny new off-white coat...warm and cozy and as people stared hard at me I thought they envied me. But late did I notice some of them giggled, some others read out numbers...Oh ya, I had the prestigious price tag on! LOL. But being such a great sport that I am (I am in fact not, trust me..I get upset about the most trivial stuff. But today was one of my good moods..and their good fortune x-( ) I graciously took the tag off and said, "Can you believe it is just 50 bucks? Got it off a sale. But this one was probably the last one on the shelf. Try your luck!".

That didn't stop the muffled tones and chuckles but I atleast tried and didnt get upset. So proud of myself, haha.

Forrest Gumpiness

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That's what I call when I am in a mood to do something really really really weird.
Like the other day I ran to the 31st floor. Not by elevator silly, by stairs of course;) Now, I am not the best of the best in the stamina department. So this was more of a casual, "let me see" type of a thing. Anyway, so the weird thing is, it isn't weird anymore to me. I take the stairs now to the 31st! Not kidding :) Although the other day I ran all the way up to the 25th without pausing...today I couldn't dare repeat the feat. I drank a banana (actually two bananas) smoothie you see before I took the stairs..So I ran 10 floors up and then said to myself "FML. I will walk now like normal people do."

LOL. Ok, so this is a bit too much stairway talk :)
Btw, does anyone know do they REALLY penalize people for smoking in the stairways? I mean every floor exit has a ton of cigarette butts around. I am wondering how the smoke alarms don't go up. Hehe. I am definitely choking in the stairway. Also, when do these people smoke? I mean all I find are cigarette butts and no smokers.

Alright, so its getting hella boring now. I am thinking of taking up something creative. Something I haven't done before. Or even better, something I never even thought of doing before. So please vote in (I am unabashedly assuming I have this huge following who will vote on ideas). I have liked ice skating so far. But it is a pricy hobby. So also keep the budget in mind! (It feels like I am talking to an audience now)

Btw for people who have been wanting to drink spinach juice, do not fear. LOL. Mix it with apple sauce, it tastes great! (Now I sound like a cooking blog. Sigh. But hey, its a handy tip!)

So before I bid adieu, a joke/rumor/whatever you may want to call it...

(Tourist) female pointing at the conductor's booth asks a co-passenger on the subway: "Is that the restroom?"

Surya Namaskar at 3 pm

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LOL, such is the weather here. I wonder how it is for people dwelling in Canada or Antarctica or Iceland or wherever the heck it is cold. Thank God, I found something interesting to keep me going here - Ice Skating. I never really thought that I would go 5 hours skating on ice in subzero temperatures and ending up all SMILES! So obviously I am hooked.

Of course, things are going to become busy and chaotic in few days. Btw, kids have more fun than adults in a skating rink. True Story. Age does change a lot of things eh? They LOVE to fall, LOVE to dive and skid on their knees and LOVE to goof up on the ice...And we are awfully embarrassed about even letting go and try a new skating trick. Such is adult life! tch tch. Also I can tell where the Chinese get their hardworking spirit from. I noticed atleast about 4-5 Chinese parents getting hard on their kids. "Go back there and do 10 rounds. Don't come back unless you are VERY VERY tired". Another Chinese parent yells from outside the rink, "Leave the rail. Leave the rail!! What did dad say? Bend your damn knees and go to the center. No rails!"

Cut 'em some slack you Chinese dudes! x-(

Oh btw I have to mention this funny (but not so much funny as surprising) incident on the A line. A family of four got in at Brooklyn dressed up in old battered clothes. Like any other average and judgemental human being I assumed about their hygienic conditions. Anyway, so this little girl comes sits beside me and looks out the window. My face is propped up in my hands with that forlorn look (you know the kind when you are having a headache and general anxiety about random things). She then quickly takes out a tiny hand sanitizer and brushes her palms together and passes it on to the rest. I am all praises at this time, obviously. Then she picks up a cluttered piece of paper near her foot and opens it and asks her mom, "Mommy, should we just trash it or do you think someone needs it?". To which the lady says "Maya, lets trash it when we get down. Also you are finishing your homework after we get home."

PS: Who loves to do homework on a Saturday evening? Ugh! Thank god, the kid scorned at that. Otherwise, I was already feeling sick about bumping into an abnormally clean and disciplined family. LOL.

Ah, whatever. I need to catch the sun now before it sets. So long..

Thelma you know how I feel about Texas

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And ya, I feel a lot more respect for the Texas weather now! Because of the cold in the new place, that is killing me. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

Anyway, someone posted an interesting link on Facebook and I had to repost it here (you know, since its all relevant to what I am talking about):

Snuggies for geeks

Interesting snuggies, aint they? My fave is the plug-in bandana, haha.

Ok, now that we amused ourselves with that little link, life gets back to facing the ground reality. This cold is effing insane!! x-( At this point you might be slightly inclined to think that this is another of my bitch posts. Bitching about life, bitching about people. Man this chick is so jobless, you might want to think (or thinking right now)

So since I am so bothered about my public image (hehe), I shall refrain (from whining anymore). Another interesting thing that happened was to sit beside a guy with a loaded gun in the subway. He was all chilled about it. You know, like it was a toy gun or something. Or was it? Also, I got stuck between the doors of a subway coach and let me tell that wasn't interesting. No sir, it wasn't. I panicked and I almost whispered my last prayers, "God, I didn't want to hurt anyone. Forgive me!". Something of the sort. Until the passengers thought that they might want to take a break from all the reading (novels, kindles, newspapers..) and pull me from inside. Because pushing me was going to be tough. I was almost three quarters into the coach. At the end of it all, I was profusely thanking them and also secretly thanking God and getting nostalgic about parents. (I think this is the only time I ever got homesick. LOL.)

So apart from freak subway incidents and freakier weather conditions, I have nothing much to post today. (If you have read this far, I reckon you have nothing planned for this weekend?).

Also a side note (more to myself than you):
Never ever ever ever see a movie where is the plot is about a father searching for his daughter's murderer. First, The Lovely Bones and then The Edge of Darkness. So there goes my precious 20 bucks wasted (I am clearly not worried about the 4 hours of non-productivity here). But I thought I would warn my earth-mates about the impending dangers of watching these duds.

That was long for a note, phew! I think its time to get out of my bed:)

Of Mice and Manju

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Go ahead, ask me what follows me the most when I am in the city?
Mice!

They are everywhere, dammit! (There is one right now behind a makeshift closet in the apartment)

It amused me to see how others react to it though. Typically girls shriek and all that, like they show in the movies. While guys (and some gals) appear terror struck. So the other day, we stuffed on dinner from this food court in a mall. Quick fast food. Then there was this retarded movie we saw (The Lovely Bones. Don't waste your $$$ on it. You will see girls dancing in platforms over giant vinyl records in the "in-between world" after they are all murdered by this same guy. I can see you already get the idea..). So after the food and before the movie something happened. We watched mice spring up from the back of a kitchen. My friends were horrified. Needless to say I acted insensitive. But of course, I realize the gravity of it all. Noticing my indifference, A said, "Do you know all these kitchens are connected?". Till then, I thanked my stars that I didn't eat from this kitchen. But that means if one was infested, the whole food court was at risk. I panicked. Then A2 (Too many of my friends' names start with A) picked his Iphone and shot the entire "mice jumping around in merry" episode. Now this is going to get reported. Wait and watch.

This city needs a total rehaul. Hell yeah.

I just need an excuse to write

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and hence the foreword: "Nothing particularly useful will be found in this post"

So today wasn't the best of the days, apparently for no reason.
I was sleeping in. And whenever I sleep in, I think. Today, I tried thinking and assessing life's convoluted surprises. So during this unproductive activity I realized that thinking too hard makes me indecisive.

Lets take an example. Last afternoon, I actually spent a good half hour (I think it was more) at an organic tea aisle trying to decide which one to buy. So I made peace by picking up a pack of assorted tea bags instead. So there you go.

Anyway, the pain of losing someone close can drive you crazy. I figure the same is happening to me. Specially when the person used to be just a phone call away. I feel I am using it as an excuse to justify my lazy days now. It is annoying to keep beating up yourself for something that is not your fault. And yet, I do the same:(

Oh what the hell. I need to snap out of it. I will go tomorrow to the Fulton Street maybe. Never been there. Just random walking and exploring places/things is so therapeutic.

Also, one of my friends ate his first subway sandwich last week. And found it wasn't as bad as he always imagined it to be. Ha! I could live on those tuna sandwiches if I could, all my life:)

Whats with the Mumbai crowd?

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Ok, so here we go again. Getting loads of attitude from Mumbai based desis in USA. Specifically the East Coast (maybe because a whole bunch of them are here more than anywhere else). Before you start getting back at me, I am not generalizing here. Its just that a majority of them are starting to get to my nerves, off late. Like really! Or maybe they all decided to confront me in a window of 48 hours.

So here's this chick who is giving me this "Oh I love New York City. It is amazing, blah blah blah" scene.

All I asked after that was "So what do you like about NYC?"

She goes, "Oh you know...the city"

Me: "Yeah, what about it?"

She: "You know its amazing"

Me: [Starting to get a little impatient]

Me: [I decide to be a prick] Yeah yeah, like particularly what? All I know is the weather sucks for now. Maybe there are other things I am missing out on? So I wanna know about the fun part.

She: Well, you are a South Indian. You wouldn't know.

Me: [Totally totally uncalled for. But tried to keep it down.] Doesn't matter. We are all Indians. So we get it.

She: Where are you from?

Me: [Dude, I thought you already decided all of the southern states in India are called "South India"? So do you honestly care where I am from?] Andhra Pradesh.

She: ["Why did I even ask" expression]

Me: So well, you don't know why you love the city?

She: [Getting hold of my sarcasm she responds..] Chill. I will tell you.

Me: Yeah, maybe you can tell me then about this neighborhood in Brooklyn. Its close to Prospect Park between Flatbush and Bedford Ave. Any idea? [I gave out so much detail just to piss her off.]

She: [Clearly doesn't know] No.

Me: How about the Upper West Side? West of Broadway?

She: [Very very angry look] NO. Look up a map.

Me: Or Greenwich Village? I heard so much about the Magnolia Bakery. Worth a cupcake?

She: [Shrugs, pretending like she's not listening to me anymore]

Me: [Deciding to be a bitch to her] Well then, that concludes it. You have no clue of the city apart from the touristy places. No clue of any of the neighborhoods. You sit in Jersey City and think you know New York City. Seems like South Indians know more after all.

And I walked out on her.

PS: Felt guilty about being so bitchy later. Although I am glad I didn't succumb to the usual mocking of South Indians. Cant we just get along and help each other, you know, being in the Indian community and all? How hard can it be? This kind of attitude is exactly why Southies want to be with Southies and Northies want to stick to their own group. Just because a bunch of them have this superiority feeling about coming from a particular city? Bahh!

PPS: On a brighter note, I hit it off well with a Gujju girl who had no hangups and no attitude and didn't give a shit that I was a "South Indian". Very chilled and also gave me some real useful tips on stuff I needed. Or is it so because her best friend also happens to be a Hyderabadi?;) Haha, just kidding=)

The guy in the red shoes

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An entry from a girl's journal:

The first time I saw him, I wasn't besotted by him. No, in fact, I didn't even think about him for even a fraction of a second. I totally and conveniently forgot his existence. The same way you forget that billboard you pass on the way to your office, until one day someone rolls their eyes and says, "You mean you never noticed that giant fancy and attractive advertisement?" and you shrug and mentally note to catch it the next day.

So, anyway, he wore red shoes. That was probably the only memory of him. By then, I had become so much of a "mature" person. You know, the sort who vents at traffic violations by others, snorts at people wearing "new dress" on birthdays etc. You get the idea. (No, not OCD silly. Forget it, you guys are so juvenile. Grin.)

Until, the proverbial "he changed my life" happened. Well, to be honest, not a hell lot. But at least a bit, I would like to think.

So suddenly, I start taking delight in long walks, eating corn, sending and receiving lots of SMS's, watching tennis because he likes to watch tennis, staying away from non vegetarian dishes..etc. In short, I act normal. Which isn't bad, if you ask me.

Then I see some sexist movies and the truth dawns on me. WTF! He has been manipulating me the whole time!!! Omg, yes! He took my individuality away!

So, I get back to sneering at other people and branding everyone else but me as juvenile. The guy in the red shoes again fades back into history.

PS: What's up with movies like The Proposal, The Ugly Truth, New in Town etc. Why are they showing all highly successful career women as self obsessed freaks? Before you compare me with the protagonists, stop right there. I am hardly a successful career woman :)

Why a girl is a girl and a boy, a boy

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I have known many guys so far. They all share a common trait. They love bikes, cars, video games, sports, action or thriller flicks..you get the point. And girls are more of "serious" and "cute" nature..they are either into cooking, reading and writing, nature, flowers, soft toys and how can I forget shopping! And of all the guys (and girls) I have known, I was classified as the girl stereotype until of course college happened. More about that later.

And now here's my take. No matter the gender, we are what we are because of the environment we grow up in. Think of this as opportunities or circumstances, the good or the bad. I could take myself as an example.

When I was a little kid, my father got me a monster truck, a pretty looking girl doll and a miniature pink panther (cartoon character). Now, I was most excited about the truck. I played with it all day. Riding it on the sofa, playing with it in the mud, riding it over the small pebbles..you get the picture. I was in love with it. As for the doll, I disfigured it, tried to dye its hair (it had blond hair and I thought there was no such thing as "yellow" hair), tried shutting its eyes forcibly. Yes, I was a violent kid I suppose. LOL.

Anyway, my mom found it disturbing. She said trucks are no good. How about the Pink Panther, she would say. Hmm ok, I love the cartoon, I guess I could love this rubber doll too, I thought. So I befriended it as my second favorite, much to my mom's relief.

Now I also loved playing with the boys in my locality. I played marbles and cricket. We started betting on marbles game. Dad got hell pissed and mom got terrified for me. "Please send her to the girls school", she wailed. (And thank god, that didnt happen. I fail to understand what they do at every girls school, because most of the girls I met from a girls school were..lets say weird). I enjoyed crass jokes with guys on the benches. I loved English movies and watched all of them from my 5th grade. I basically wasn't a tomboy, not as yet, but I was loving it. I hated frocks, and I loved my jeans. I was always asked by my guy friends to pass around "love" letters to the other girls in my class. You know, I was the messenger girl, of sorts. LOL.

Enter junior college. This is when things turned over. I basically did only one thing. STUDY. This was totally driven by circumstances. My aim at that point of time was to go on the path to quickest money, of course, by the good means. So I had to crack that engineering college entrance. Not because I was asked to do so. But the situation demanded it. Now given a different situation, I would have probably opted journalism or writing.

Of course, that wasn't end of the long list of experiences to follow. At college, however, I slowly discovered I wasn't the most liked person on campus. All because I did not fit into the stereotypical girl image.

Like my close friend once gaped at me and said "Do you mean you never went to the temple even once so far?". To which I said, "Its quite an architectural marvel I heard". And so the close friend branded me "the girl who can never be a great housewife". I didn't dress up. Heck, I would'nt even change from my black t-shirt and jeans. But what most of them didn't know, was that I had only two pairs of jeans and a couple "college" t-shirts I would get on some events. So naturally, I was living on zero money and fend for my college fees. While guys, only talked about my facial hair at college. And girls, thought about how uncouth I was.

I don't blame the circumstances. They make you what you are. They made me a little too independent and a rebel. I sat up at nights writing or sometimes simply walked through remote places or watched movies at cinema halls by myself. I fought the local banks, pesky neighbors, cops, government officials while they bitched about "how much I should learn to be a girl instead". I didn't want to pray, dress up or fake loving to cook and be clean to people I meet. I am not that. I am best at what I am.

I know guys who love chick flicks. And girls who love guy jokes. Its OK to be a stereotype. Its NOT OK to become one.

Trash the stereotype. Just let people be and don't judge.

PS: And no, I am not sore at anyone:)

Full Stop

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My dear readers,

I won't be blogging anymore, atleast for a while.
Think of this as a sabbatical, but a really long one at that.
I am sure, I can't forget writing, because I love it too much to give up.
But for those, who really did love my blog, I am sorry to be doing this.

Thanks for reading.

-Manju

Volunteer blogger

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Yep, that's what I have been doing for some time now. Of course, I promise to continue here soon. I have at least two short stories in mind right now.:) Which I will blog soon.

But for now, something particularly I think all should read, specially technical men and women

http://ghcbloggers.blogspot.com/2009/10/welcome-by-grace-hopper-team-and.html

Enjoy!

Change of Work

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He was a hawker. A popular one. Every morning, he and his wife woke up early
to cook. Cook generous amounts of hot samosas, kachoris, rasgullas and vada pav.
And then he would carry them all in boxes that he expertly maneuvered using his arms
and legs that got stronger by carrying them everyday. Every noon, he would
dock at the same spot. Prepare some hot spicy chai, toast the pavs (breads) and mash some samosas to a chat just in time when the matinee show finished. That's when he attracted the most customers.

People hounded the 'tela' (stall) to buy the 1 rupee chai and a pair of mouth watering samosas
with tamarind chutney and yogurt garnish. "This is just like how my mom makes at home!", cried a little kid by the stall. Everyone loved his food. Everyone..except the other hawkers.

"Look at him. He looks so frail but look at how much business the bastard does!", ranted a hawker.
"I tried to offer food at my stall for a lower price for a long time, but people swear by him..", another roadside vendor sighed.

Every evening, when there was no more food to sell, he would pack it all up and go home carrying the empty boxes. Famished. Tired. But satisfied. He and his wife were hoping to shift to a home soon, one made of clay. The thachted hut they lived in was too hot to bear. It seemed as though they were set on fire.

One day as he went to his spot, he noticed there was more crowd. It seemed like a procession. Lot of people had gathered in, shouting slogans and carrying banners. He smiled to himself. "Good, I can probably sell everything sooner today", he thought rejoicing the idea.

As he settled down and boiled the tea leaves, he heard a gun shot fire in the air. By the time he looked behind, there was a stampede in progress. People pushing each other, some holding each other's throats..He realized the police had charged on them with 'lathi' and someone fired a gun.
He threw the boiling tea on the ground and swiftly hauled his stuff in boxes and ran into a nearby basement. He emerged out of it after several hours. Several people crying over limp and injured bodies on the ground. Medics and people rushing to help the hurt.

He went back home cursing and had a restless sleep. Restless over all the food that was not sold. The next day he set out as usual. He decided to reheat the food and serve. He could not afford to throw them all away!

As he approached the spot, he saw police around. Cordoning the area. One of them spewed paan on the ground and screamed at him "Don't stand here. Go home".

"Sahib, what is happening?", he asked. "There is a curfew the rest of the week. Go home.", said the cop.

He sighed and went back home. He kept cursing the rest of the week.

He went back determined the next week and found some laborers around digging the ground, where he set his stall everyday. He looked confused. He went upto them and asked one near to him, "What is this? What are you doing?" One of them said, "Didn't you know, the sarkar (government) has ordered to build a memorial here."

"What??", he yelled. "What..but how. Why?", he could hear his heart pound fast, faster..
He found out that some shops also would be razed to ground soon. One of the hawkers passing by saw him and spoke, "Arre bhai (Oh brother),we cannot come here anymore. Sarkar has plans for this place and they are moving all the hawkers from here. We are planning to do a dharna (protest rally). Would you come join us?"

He declined and went back home. His wife and him thought about what they should do and decided they have to change their work. Atleast for some time. The memorial was built in a week. He went back to his usual spot. Only now he painted himself silver and wore round rimmed glasses and dhoti with a stick in hand. Dressed like Gandhi. Standing right near the memorial entrance, rain or shine. Begging. It was business as usual.

Do you know Chow Chang Woo?

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Yes, so I get this strange call from Citi that goes:

"Sorry we are unable to talk to you right now. We know you are busy. Thank you for choosing Citi.
However you need to call 1-800-***-**** immediately. Blah blah"

Oh so you know I am busy, then why the heck you call me so many (odd) times!

So I decided I put an end to this goddamned call. And then they ask "Whom are we speaking to?"
I go "Manju Vijayakumar". And then the million $$ question "Do you know Chow Chang Woo?"

"Woo who?"

"Chow Chang Woo"

"No, I haven't heard that name. Not even in my dreams"

"(LOL) Sorry ma'm. The system dials your number everyday to reach Chow Chang Woo. But apparently it is a mistake. I will update the system."

Chow Chang Woo, where are you?