The Wake up call

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Just want to scream ma lungs out now!

Last nite, I was like a zombie..like a brain-dead person..with the TV switched on..and the Ger vs Italy match goin' on..but my mind transcending a different horizon..

Without sleep and several thoughts in ma head. I went up to ma terrace and stood out in the cold, gazing at the stars, reflecting..

* I never cared or bothered much when ma parents did not pamper me ever. They never do. Its good they do not for several reasons..But I want to be pampered now :(

* I had this abyssmal feeling of not being cared/loved by anyone. And the feeling sucks.

* I have this yellow smily (a ball) at ma desk. I want to be like it. Ever-smiling and never hav depressing thoughts..Not even for a second.

* I was driving today morning to work..and someone tried to overtake me from the left..I shouted "Cant you fcuking wait for a second?" and felt terrible the next second for having said that :(

* There is so much to do at work. And it kills me to be way behind schedule.

* I know am cut out for bigger things..But I never take the initiative..I only dream..and so it remains jus that.."a dream!"

* Everything is so pseudo in this world. Nothing is for real. Nobody is for real.
To each his own..

* I want to give up everything..whatever it is am doing now and go hide sumwhere..in deep woods..and neva come back..Not that I fear the world..I fear myself more than the world around me. That everything I do/say is jinxed.

Yeah I am fooling maself..


Karaoke - *blank*