A good proportion of my time is spent in elevators. At work I sit on the 23rd floor and at home on the 31st. And to reach the 23rd I take one elevator and transfer to another. Now dont ask me why 2 elevators. So the natural thing to say next is, I have had my share of elevator encounters and incidents - some nice, some not so nice and some dreadfully boring. Btw whoever advocates "elevator pitches",no, I haven't had an occasion yet to exercise my "elevator pitch".
So, instead of asking you guys who would you like to be marooned with on a lonely island, I would ask who/what would you fantasise about in an elevator (isn't that more probable to happen given that I am nowhere near to going to an island, that too a lonely one. Because my friend, no matter where I go, I will always find Indians.
Joke. You see where my already fading sense of humor is going with this.)
My apartment elevator is one of those old ones that gives you a jerk (as if you are falling top down on a roller coaster) Yes, very turbulent. Elevator belts anyone? LOL. But since recently it also blanks out all the pressed buttons when it wants to crap out on the passengers (Is that what they call people traveling in an elevator?). So, being the superior human being that I am, I always jump in and rescue all the elevator members by pressing the right buttons again - I love how I get a "are you kidding me, you remember about half a dozen numbers" expression? What can I say,
my memory is of superior quality (only when it comes to remembering ridiculously useless things). Of course, this grateful expression of the co-passengers changes into wrath the moment they see me pressing one or two wrong buttons. Hey, my memory just ran a little low today ok?
Sometimes I am in the deep corner of the elevator staring up a huge backpack or worse, dangerously close to smelly armpits (some people just sweat too much). But generally speaking its not that bad at all unless of course somebody had too much food and decided to fart. Yes, that happens and is not tolerable. (I once exited the next nearest floor and ran 10 or so stairs to my home).
And abt the people, hey not judgemental, but I just feel funny. Those Asian girls in their pink Victoria Secret night pants and fluffy slippers, nigers with sparkling nail paint, fake eye lashes and braids, babies in strollers crying or salivating, people with dogs so tiny that I am so afraid I might just mistakenly stamp them to death on my way out, kids who are always amused of the elevator buttons and parents who drag them away, guys who hear to music on the largest volume on their iphone/ipod (btw why do people crank up their volumes so much on a headphone, beats me), janitors, plumbers and other labor workforce who always know where to get off without as much as looking at the floor number, old couples who are always smiling and greeting you, young and just-fallen-in-love couples who, lets just say, dont mind public show of affection, girls whose conversations always begin with "Oh my god..", people on Blackberry, people reading books (I belong here), Indians who are talking abt their next potluck..
I could go on forever now but after all that BS I unloaded on you, I fantasize:
- and ***beep***
Sorry, as much as I want to list the above three, I cannot. LOL. And no, I wont reveal them even if you email me.
So, what is your elevator fantasy?;)
PS: Of course I glossed over my elevator experiences, I will continue with them on my next post. But right now, blame it on the Turkey lunch aka "I am sleepy right now"