Saturday, July 17, 2010

What NOT to do in New York City

Since it is the summer season and the city is full of tourists, I thought I could contribute to some local wisdom to the city visitors. Here's my take:

- Please don't take the cabs. Subways anyone..Hello?? Subways are the cheapest, safest, quickest way through the city. Plus you get a lot of free entertainment, people gazing and subway performers:) And whoever didn't think of walking in NYC? One of the funnest things to do is exploring the city on feet.

- Please don't eat out of any food cart you find. Most of them are rip-offs. Ask the locals which cart offers the best. Like the halal cart off 57th and 6th. Yum!!

- Empire State Building...whyyyyyyy????? Gosh, please please skip this tourist rip off. Go to Rockefeller Center. If you haven't heard of Rockefeller, please google it right now and get onto the 'Top of the Rock' for the most splendid views of the city. Atleast you don't have the fences to cut off your view.

- Ok, what's with people heading to Magnolia for Cupcakes? That is by far the most hyped place and over the top prices for a teeny weeny cupcake. Blame it on the Sex and the City. DAMN. Check other pastry shops off Bleecker St. if you are a cupcake fan.

- Eat in Times Square. NO! AVOID! All the world's crappiest chains are at Times Square. And guess what - they are OVER EXPENSIVE. Savor the lights and energy of Times Sq instead and head else where for food.

- Best way to find your way around Central Park is no..NOT walking. Rent a bike on a Saturday morning and ride will fall in love with Central Park, I can bet.

- I know everyone loves Starbucks (sigh). But the whole point of visiting a city is to TRY OUT a new cuisine, even if it is coffee. As I am not much of a coffee person, I wont be able to give you a horde of coffee places you can go to. But there is this charming little French cafe in Bushwick, Brooklyn. I found it after I lost my way after an apartment search on a biting cold afternoon. I even forgot its name. I just googled and its Athom Cafe. And their croissants are something to die for. PLEASE GO. Plus, if it means anything, I never really had a thing for croissants till I bumped into this place.

- A lot of places are Cash only. So...if you are like the old me, you need to carry couple of coins and notes. And the ATM's nearby will always have a line. This is NYC, what do you expect? lol. Plus, if you think all places have restrooms, umm think twice. haha. Even select Barnes & Nobles stores in NYC wont have restrooms. (Is that even legal? :O)

I would write more, but I am tired. It's a huge list. Sigh.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

How to use aliens to solve your network problems

My dad has this sue people. No he is not a lawyer. LOL.
I often tell him he should be in the Americas. He can do that sort of a thing here with more impact maybe?

So recently he completely switched off his mobile and started using my mom's.
I asked him what's up with that thing switched off? Knowing him I asked if he was trying to do some sort of cost cutting or if he was unhappy with the mobile network service? Alright it's Airtel. As if I have something to lose if I take their name. LOL. Anyway, what I least expected to learn was this:

Dad: I keep getting text messages from this website or service I am not subscribed to and each such message cuts down one rupee from my talktime.
Me: Whoa.
Dad: Ya I get these texts from some IleanaWorld or something
Me: LOL.
Dad: Things like Ileana is going to take a bath. Ileana wants to talk to you.
Me: Double LOL.
Me: Well..cant you just ask the Airtel guys to like block that?
Dad: I sorta liked it in the beginning.
Me: Why am I not surprised..
Dad: But it cuts my talktime balance and there are too many messages. If only it was a free service.
Me: Ya right. So did they block it?
Dad: I went twice to them. Its worser now. I get these messages on mom's mobile too.
Me: Uh oh.
Dad: I think its a virus..
Me: Sorry, what?
Dad: Virus, don't you think?
Me: Nice try. Tell that to someone else, not me. x-( You would have given your cellphone numbers on some crazy website. So you go and solve it now.
Dad: Sigh.

After couple of days..

Me: So whats up?
Dad: I am suing these guys..I have had it.
Me: What happened?
Dad: They are unable to block it.
Me: Really? :O
Dad: I went there and yelled at them..
Me: ..your style? "I will sue you and write to the local newspaper and take you to the consumer court" thing?
Dad: Ya, initially..
Me: What do you mean?
Dad: Well, I sort of went soft on them.
Me: (Oh my! Thats a first time). I dont believe that for a second! You would have gone ballistic..
Dad: I initially did. I said I am gona sue them all. And then I did the faux pas!
Me: ????
Dad: I said their service will die when aliens come down to earth.
Me: (By this time I got bored of his conversation and was chatting with A on the other end...jus when I heard the word aliens I jumped up). Did you say aliens???
Dad: (Eating a snack on the other end, in a muffled voice) Yes.
Me: LOL.
Dad: As a matter of fact, I said the day aliens come down they are gona destroy all of us. And they would take over. There would be no democracy, no sh*** mobile networks, nothing. They will take control. They didn't get it..
Me: Of course. LOL.
Dad: The customer service reps took a deep interest in this subject. One of them asked me: "aliens ante yovarandi?" (telugu for "who are aliens?")
Dad: I said "They will be tiny. Green in color. And their blood would be brown in color with large ears and smarter brains"
Me: Was that necessary?
Dad: (Still eating..) I am surprised they didn't watch all those brilliant alien and space movies. Specially Spielberg's.
Me: Ya well, pride yourself. lol.
Dad: That blew up into a conversation abt aliens and unnecessary chatter. I lost my way thru it. But one of them got friendly with me and believed all I told abt aliens. She promised me she would block the damn ileana messages.
Me: Sure. So now you solve problems thru storytelling. Good for ya.
Dad: I guess I will talk Armageddon the next time..