Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Why a girl is a girl and a boy, a boy

I have known many guys so far. They all share a common trait. They love bikes, cars, video games, sports, action or thriller flicks..you get the point. And girls are more of "serious" and "cute" nature..they are either into cooking, reading and writing, nature, flowers, soft toys and how can I forget shopping! And of all the guys (and girls) I have known, I was classified as the girl stereotype until of course college happened. More about that later.

And now here's my take. No matter the gender, we are what we are because of the environment we grow up in. Think of this as opportunities or circumstances, the good or the bad. I could take myself as an example.

When I was a little kid, my father got me a monster truck, a pretty looking girl doll and a miniature pink panther (cartoon character). Now, I was most excited about the truck. I played with it all day. Riding it on the sofa, playing with it in the mud, riding it over the small pebbles..you get the picture. I was in love with it. As for the doll, I disfigured it, tried to dye its hair (it had blond hair and I thought there was no such thing as "yellow" hair), tried shutting its eyes forcibly. Yes, I was a violent kid I suppose. LOL.

Anyway, my mom found it disturbing. She said trucks are no good. How about the Pink Panther, she would say. Hmm ok, I love the cartoon, I guess I could love this rubber doll too, I thought. So I befriended it as my second favorite, much to my mom's relief.

Now I also loved playing with the boys in my locality. I played marbles and cricket. We started betting on marbles game. Dad got hell pissed and mom got terrified for me. "Please send her to the girls school", she wailed. (And thank god, that didnt happen. I fail to understand what they do at every girls school, because most of the girls I met from a girls school were..lets say weird). I enjoyed crass jokes with guys on the benches. I loved English movies and watched all of them from my 5th grade. I basically wasn't a tomboy, not as yet, but I was loving it. I hated frocks, and I loved my jeans. I was always asked by my guy friends to pass around "love" letters to the other girls in my class. You know, I was the messenger girl, of sorts. LOL.

Enter junior college. This is when things turned over. I basically did only one thing. STUDY. This was totally driven by circumstances. My aim at that point of time was to go on the path to quickest money, of course, by the good means. So I had to crack that engineering college entrance. Not because I was asked to do so. But the situation demanded it. Now given a different situation, I would have probably opted journalism or writing.

Of course, that wasn't end of the long list of experiences to follow. At college, however, I slowly discovered I wasn't the most liked person on campus. All because I did not fit into the stereotypical girl image.

Like my close friend once gaped at me and said "Do you mean you never went to the temple even once so far?". To which I said, "Its quite an architectural marvel I heard". And so the close friend branded me "the girl who can never be a great housewife". I didn't dress up. Heck, I would'nt even change from my black t-shirt and jeans. But what most of them didn't know, was that I had only two pairs of jeans and a couple "college" t-shirts I would get on some events. So naturally, I was living on zero money and fend for my college fees. While guys, only talked about my facial hair at college. And girls, thought about how uncouth I was.

I don't blame the circumstances. They make you what you are. They made me a little too independent and a rebel. I sat up at nights writing or sometimes simply walked through remote places or watched movies at cinema halls by myself. I fought the local banks, pesky neighbors, cops, government officials while they bitched about "how much I should learn to be a girl instead". I didn't want to pray, dress up or fake loving to cook and be clean to people I meet. I am not that. I am best at what I am.

I know guys who love chick flicks. And girls who love guy jokes. Its OK to be a stereotype. Its NOT OK to become one.

Trash the stereotype. Just let people be and don't judge.

PS: And no, I am not sore at anyone:)