Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Of lost friends..

Over the years it has been a very difficult thing for me - maintaining friendships

It is crazy how I am most close only to A till date. I do not think I have shared everything with any person (not even my dad) except A.

I tried hard. To make such friends. I do think my friends are flawed. Who isn't?
But the trust, integrity and the dependability that is the core of what friends are made of are missing. May be I have over expectations.

Of course having said that, I do not believe I am the perfect friend. So it is best not to expect from others says A. :) If only I was so calm and composed as A. LOL.

But often I think what went wrong with friends.

All those crazy fights over money, jealousy with grades (yeah! unbelievably true), and other things minor like may be hygienic habits etc. Although I think the biggest factor for destroying friendship is almost always "bitching behind the back" or "pulling out when your help is needed"

I have noticed how people very conveniently pull back when you need their help with excuses so brilliant, that it just gets you too upset. It is so hard not to expect that from friends, because they are the ones whom you count upon.

Of course, I have had two very nice friends, whom surprisingly I only chat with and are my seniors from college who help me with anything I want in a second's time. Then there is K, she is a darling. Of course she nearly bummed me out last Fall threatening to stop talking to me for reasons that is so typical of me. I do not express my feelings to people I am close with. Which, again got me very upset, because if you are my friend, I accept your nature. Even if you are the meanest bitch on the earth, but you stand by me when I need you, you still are my best friend.

I would rather cherish the few people I believe in than dig deep into my heart about people who claim to be my friends and are clearly NOT in times of need. There is no point in being upset about such people. I let my heart free today:)