Sunday, April 27, 2008

Can anyone tell me why..



...the Computer Science department at my university does not have more than 2 linux boxes. Why, god why? Arrrgh!

...the flush tank at home just choked, overflowed, flooded and submerged my comforter, clothes, papers. Arrrgh!

...I am sleeping at the tune of 12 hours per day? Likes it's my job to sleep. Like I am getting paid for it. Double Arrrgh!

...I would'nt let go the gum in ma mouth and keep chewing on it like it's my job! Why can't I simply spit the damn thing outand get a new one? It's right in my darned jean pocket, another gum waiting to be "gummed" (lol). I just gotta pull it out, spit this out and put another one in! Arrgh!

...so many losers surround ma each day..my each "unslept" part of the day x-([You have no clue how many losers. Gosh! And you have no clue what I am talking about. So screw it and read further.]

Ok, never mind telling me. Looks like I have made ma blog ma agony aunt.

But to reset it's status I have a short story. Or rather anecdote. I just remembered it out of the blue.

My dear old undergraduate days at Pilani (BITS). All hungry souls waited on the piping hot maggi our mess bhaiyyas (fondly as they are called. they really were sweethearts. you spill the milk on the floor, they wipe it off the floor without as much as an angry nerve. Phew! For the explanation :)) made every night after dinner. Ok. That aint the anecdote anyways.

As usual Tamilians are forced to learn Hindi when they go North. Some try hard to manage, some just learn the customary"Maggi bhaiyya", "Dahi bhaiyya" (curds) to survive the hunger. So there is a cute unassuming Southie girl standing couple of heads before me.

She - "Maggi bhaiyya"
Bhaiyya - "Banana hain" (I am yet to make it)

She - [Confused] "Banana nahi. Maggi"
Bhaiyya - "Banana hain" [Wiping out the sweat off his face]

She - [Handing the 2 rupee food coupon to him and pointing to the Maggi packets] "Magggggggggi bhaiyya"
Bhaiyya - [Looking at us with a pleading face to rescue him]

Us - "Ok XYZ, it's not banana he is talking about. It's just Hindi you see and all you have to know is it doesnt mean BANANA"

Another in the line - "Ya dont go bananas over it ;)"

LOL.

Ok I gotta get out of here now. Amen.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

OCD



That's right, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Ask me why. Here is the answer:

- Taking bath twice in a day. No kidding! (And to understand the gravity of it, you should ask my friends about my previous life (pichla janam! hehe), when I seldom took bath :p)

- Addicted to caffeine, to the score of 3 Mac Donald coffees per day(3$/day :(). Previously loathed American coffee (decafs) and now gulping it by the gallons.

- Addicted to TV shows (2 episodes of Two and a Half Men, 2 episodes of Prison Break , 2 episodes of How I met your Mother). And that's just the average.

- Eyes glued to the laptop for close to 21 hours everyday, half the time for reasons above, and the other half conduting "simulations" that run forever and suck the blood off ma eyes.

- Not picking calls. An intensive urge to NOT pick calls. But returning calls within next 24 hrs.
Weird huh? Hey, that's why I self-proclaim maself as OCD. duh!

- Running. A lot. Running like it's my job. Running like I am escaping death. Running like the world is coming to an end. Running like Tom Hanks in Forrest Gump. Ok you get it, right?!

- Talking to A, morning, afternoon, evening and in the night. IST. Ok timezones does'nt matter since I am talking all day long. :)

A ton more of such obsessions..but did the inquisitive soul in you just ask me, "Then when is it that you study?"


PS: As my professor once said, is your blog a "ME ME ME ME" blog? So I will try to post something more generic and not just about me. Till then I will beat you to death with the updates of my life.

Sunday, April 20, 2008

My dear Internet



You have changed, affected & healed lives.

Ok, sounds cliched. *grin*

I mean it does make a lot of difference the way we have changed our perspective to meet the Internet savvy life.

I often go on trips and like to take tons of pics of the place I visit.
It usually ends up with more than 50% photos capturing 'us' than the place.
Ok, coming back to the point, most of the times when I take a pic of my friends I can hear them say
"Hey that background would look so good on Orkut!"
So if it sounds as though these pics are taken only 'coz we can sport them on orkut, facebook, myspace etc., you are right! LOL.

Or the time when my dad asks me, "So I doubt you are studying at grad school. Just curious, what do you do? Movies?"
"TV shows dad", pat comes the reply.
"You have a TV at home?", he asks, more curious.
"No, my laptop", I tell
"What? TV show on your computer?", he quips.
"Err..never mind. How is the weather back home?", I veer the topic.

Well, even dad gets to put me on spot at times.
"So what have you been doing today? Been to a walk outside?", I ask naively.
"Solitaire", he says, like it is the norm of the day.


On one other occasion. I was at my campus library, scouring for some book.
Apparently the only two copies of the were checked out and it left me irked.
All that biking to this place for miles from my apartment added more to my frustration.

"Can I recall those books? I absolutely need a copy. Do you think the West Campus (other library) would have it?", I ask. To which the old lady at desk says calmly "You can look over at the e-book version"
Duhhh! I know that!x-(
I don't exactly belong to planet Mars. Or maybe they have their own Internet there too. Martian Internet. LOL

My professor once quipped in class.
"Do you know the biggest advantage of doing research in the field of Web spam?"
We all nodded "NO" and blinked at him.
"If your wife catches you browsing unethical sites and frowns on your browser history, you can always tell that you were researching spam on the Internet, it is part of your research", he chuckled.

So the thing is if you are taking pictures for Orkut or you want to shop online for a pair of earphones, or you just feel like reading a book or heck, watch a movie before it hits the theatres, you know that Internet has changed your life.:-)

Thursday, April 17, 2008

For the heck of it



Yeah. It is true.
It is simply one more of those days.
You are sitting and thinking about which homework to work on (ya, its true you only "think" not "act")
over that Mac D coffee (addicted to it now:( ), keeping aside the one SQL query you need to write (which i have been
procrastinating from past 4 days?) and yet i cannot stop but wonder how Chinese men/women are so athletic!

Yeah! How are they so slim and athletic? Can someone answer me (for a grand prize of a dollar meal at Mc D?)
LOL.

Seriously, whenever I travel (ya i am always on bike/bus, not on my feet most of the times) I watch
at the Chinese women with their perfect silky hair pulled into a pony tail and their super athletic body.

But today, surprise surprise. I saw a near to fat Chinese lady and chuckled to myself "Finally!!"

But still she was'nt even fat as me (Hey that doesnt mean am fat! Minced my words i guess!:((

Anyway, I told this to a girlfrnd of mine and she honestly, put the most straight face (the type of expression a li'l kid
would have on his face when he asks you a naive question) and told me
"But I thought most of them are Sumo wrestlers"

"Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!! You are deep shit you know!", I told her

She nodded her head to the greatest capacity possible.

"Explain", she demanded.

"First of all Sumo wrestlers are of Japanese origin, so your whole doubt on this topic is baseless.
Next, sumo wrestlers are supposed to be fat, That's their profession.
And finally don't you ever demand me for an explanation to a silly doubt"

So much for asking. So now am at Google search typing "Why are chinese so atheletic?".
Lets see what google gives..

LMAO

Results:

"My non-sexual threesome adventure - Canadian Chinese Youth Athletics Association"
"The chinese University of HongKong Required Physical Education Athletics Course notes"


Honestly, I would'nt have minded if they gave me pages of the 2008 Olympics at Beijing.
But this, my friend is pure hilarious.

Wait a second. Wasnt I supposed to be writing that SQL query?