It was a rather friggin' day.
A mid term and then you walk astray.
You donno wot to do
When there is a call for an interview
No! Am not trying too hard to sound rhymy.
My thoughts jus' poured into a rhyme. Thank you very much.!
An excerpt from the interview..
Lady: So, MAN-joo is that how they pronounce your name? [Giggles]
Me: [Not cross! With the most expressionless look] Yes
Note: I gave up explaining Americans how the first three letters of my name isnt an offshoot of the english word "man" but its a vicious world. They jus' dont wana listen to you! They jus' wana eat you and call you MAN
Lady: So you mentioned you have prior work experience on campus?
Me: (the same expressionless face) Yeah.
Lady: Can you tell me a li'l abt it?
Me: (yaawwwwn) It was an office assistant job
Lady: So what kind of stuff you got to do?
Me: (Felt like faking euphoria about ma previous job. But i let it pass.) It was the normal office chores. Photocopying, attending calls, faxing..stuff like that
Lady: Do you know pivot tables?
Me: (Excuse me!) Blank expression
Lady: There was this nice Indian guy who worked with us previously. He did those pivot tables
Lady2: Oh Debbie you dont! You love him so much for pivot tables you would wana search where he is now and get him back dont you?
Lady: I mean it was so awesome. Pivot tables are so awesome.
Lady2: Ya, you always tell me that! (Looks towards me and says) She always tells me that!
Me: (Totally clueless. What is happening here?) Nodding
Lady: So, do you know pivot tables?
Me: (Same blank face) No
Lady: Oh thats a shame!
Me: (wtf!) Isnt this an office assistant job?
Lady: You mentioned Excel on your resume.
Me: (Correcting her) Parts of Excel. I wrote that in there in my CV
Lady: Ya, but you know pivot tables are so awesome.
Me: (Somebody jus' wipe her away from the face of this earth) But that is not a part of the job description you advertised.
Lady: (Shoots a cold look for a brief instant)
Lady2: errr..so manju aside from office chores did you do anything else?
Me:(Oh ya! I socialised with this fat lady in my office and talked about pigs often with her! Duh!)
Well, I used to come early to work, pull up the blinds, turn off the answering machine..stuff like that.
(one more time she says pivot tables I swear i was ready to storm out of the room but she dint)
Lady:...can you make me a cup of coffee?
Me: Is that a part of this interview?
Ladies laugh. I guess they eased a bit now.
Lady: I cant live without coffee you know!
Lady2: Me too!
Me: Hahaha (like it was a BIG joke! But I swear i didnt know how to react to this)
Lady: So manju temme will you do coffee for us?
Me: Sure i will if you pay me by the cup! And not by the hour!
Lady: So describe a crisis situation you were in before and what you did to come out of it.
Me: (I was aching to tell, for example am in a crisis situation now. Stuck with two insane ladies who jus think the world of pivot tables and coffee. To come out of it I can act like am going into a coma??) I screwed up my company's SMTP server once.
Me: Its a long story. I came out of it by just informing my manager about it and sought help.
Me: (Wow! I shut her up! LOL)
Lady: We have another round of interview now.
Me: (Wot da hell???? Wot????)
Lady2: Come with me Manju. You need to do a li'l exercise for us.
Me: (Are you kidding me???)
Lady2: (Takes me to a desktop, logs me in and says) You need to write a small draft. We would want to rate your writing and articulating abilities
Me: (Havent I displayed my marvellous articulation back in there?) Yeah. Sure.
Lady2: You have 30 mins for this activity
Me: (Dont even bother! Am gona shoot this off in like 5 mins. Gimme the damned desktop now)
Alrite. Can i go ahead now?
Lady2: Please do. Once your done, take a print and slip the paper in if am not around. I might be gone.
Me: (You cant put me up with this lame stuff and go out for a smoke!) Ok. Not a problem.
I did finish in like 8 mins. I found her and gave her the paper.
She did the customary "It was nice talking to you" and I did the customary "Same here"
Came out and breathed in some crisp evening air.
Did i jus' tell her it was nice talking to her? Somebody kick me!