Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Jupiter Colony..



Years of ridicule.
Years of humiliation.
Naa..not anymore, I wondered aloud..
Today, I shall crack the fundaa..abt why the place where I live is called "Jupiter Colony"

--Flashback--

At school:
Kid1: I stay in BHEL colony.
Kid2: I come from Marredpally.
Kid3[Me,hair tied in ribbons!]: Err...Juuuupppppiiiittter Colony..

*guffaws*

At college:
Lecturer: So you stay far off?
Me: Yeah!
Lecturer: Hitech city? Mahendra Hills? blah blah blah
Me:Err...Juuuupppppiiiittter Colony..
Lecturer: [Gives me a u-must-be-kidding-me look.]

*Sigh*

At work:
Teammie: What...what is this address? [pointing at ma IT returns form]
Me[unabashed!]: Jupiter Colony! Thats right!
Teammie: ye, neengaala earth range ilaya...Jupiter daa na?
Me: Cursing the founder of the colony..may god *not* rest his peace in soul..

--FlashBack ends--

At home, dinner table..

Me[with a sullen look]: So wots for dinner?

*Silence*

Mom serves macekerel(fish)..

Me[sullen look transits to gluttonous look]: Mom!!! You are the grrrrrrrrrrrrreatest!

Dad: Ya ya, it takes a grilled fish to make her great.

Me[gorging on food]: Say,dad..werent you ever embarrassed abt telling u r from Jupiiiiitttttter Colony?

Dad: Naa..I always thought it was kinda kool.

Me: Wot?! Look there should be some reason to this whole Jupiter-Vupiter fundaa...
Think about it..
SBI colony - becoz bank families live there.
BHEL colony - coz its BHEL employees inc.
Railway Colony - its railway employees again..

Dad:
Old city - coz old ppl live there?
S R Nagar - coz Sanjeev reddy's soul looms there?
Cmon! wots the bleddy point?

Me: Dont jack ass me!

Dad: U seen "DoubtFire"(english flick)? Robin Williams makes up dat name, remember? Jus' like that..mayb jus ran outta names.

Me: Its a billion plus population for godssakes..how could they run outta names? Or mayb he was a fanatical scientist..or meteorologist?

Dad: Or mayb his ancestors discovered Jupiter?

Me: Or mayb aliens ruled here?

Dad: Hmm. Mayb he was born to aliens...? alien child? hahaha:)

Me: Or mayb he had a girlfriend by name "Jupiter"?

We agreed to disagree..

Karaoke -

I don't know what it is
that makes me feel like this
I don't know who you are
but you must be some kind of superstar
coz you got all eyes on you no matter where you are

Superstar - Jamelia :)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

The Chronicles of Insomnia(c)



"At the stroke of midnite hour...
When the whole world sleeps, India awakes.." ~Nehru

Jus' wondering..what abt the timezones??? hehe:)

Hmm. Its 12:30 AM.
Armed with the remote and propped up on the couch, I gingerly surf the TV channels.

Glad that Discovery was back in all its flavor :)
[Coupla sluts at I&B ministry made Hindi narrations mandatory for nearly a year..dumb!]
They were running a documentary over the assassination of JFK.
Expected a rivetting video..

5 mins..10 mins..

All they ran was a black & white video with people waving gleefully at Kennedy & wife
and them waving back with equal zeal..

And then baam!!!!!!

They captured the exact moment when he was shot..!
But wait a sec...Why the heck is Mrs. K jumping outta the car????

Trrrrrrrring! Ma landline in the living room screeched..
Who's calling at this hour?

Me[with one eye on the TV]: "Helo?"
Phone(y): "Sssssssh!"
Me: "Eh?"
Phone(y): "Sssssssh!"
Me: "Shivaram? Arun? Bastards, go sleep.."
Phone(y): [Some muffled tone]

I slam the phone and go back to ma quest.


*Switch*

Star Gold: Rajni, Meena, Vadivelu, Sharad Babu...Muthu...in Hindi!!!! duhhh!!

*Switch*

CNN-IBN: A reporter waist-deep in water reporting on flood situations in Kalina..
The price news channels hafta pay for maintaining TRP's..tch tch!


Trrrrrrrrrrring!

Me[slight aa irritated]: "Helo?"
Phone(y): "Sssssssssh!"
Me: "Dude, have you seen the movie "Hawa"? Winds even rape you? Did you know that?
So dont mess with winds."

Slam the phone!

*Switch*

Sony: Vaidehiiiiiii....some "anoder-woman-in-ma-husband's-life-and-ma-mom-in-law-hates-me-so-its-revenge-time" crap

*Switch*

Star movies: Seen the movie..skip!

*Switch*

Teja: Teja main Teja! Ravi Teja! Ok, bad joke..Ravi Teja shaking to "idiot" songs

*Switch*

HBO: The Lord of the Rings..!!!!!!
wtf!! When did it start..? O damn!! when when!??

Mythical creatures attacking the castle..

How much did I miss?
*Sigh*

Trrrrrrrrrrring!

Me[all cool..ready for the challenge]: "Helo?"
Phone(y)[in a whisper]: "Talk to me!"
Me: "Wait a sec"

I fish out a CD of heavy metal..
"Paranoid" by Black Sabbath guzzles outta ma music system.
I pick the handset and drop it nearby.

Now...where was I...


Karaoke -

"Bad Boy" (Pyaar ke side effects)
Nice hip-hop...Alisha Chinai's voice is a charm:)